Jealousy?

[bzborow1]

Hi all,

 

I guess I just need to vent. A friend of mine whom i've known quite a while seems to just be able to half- * * * his way through life, and it's pissing me off. It seems like I work my butt off, get better grades, yet all the "breaks" swing his way.

 

As an example...He just got into a business school with a GPA less than the minimum req'd and a GMAT score less than the minimum. They told him it's because this year was a weird one, a down year for enrollment numbers. While I do in part wish him success, i'm just so frustrated that everything seems to go his way.

 

Anyone else ever experience this type of thing??

[TheRedQueen]

I believe I was in kindergarten when my teacher told me, "life is not fair". How true, how sad...I've come to realize and accept that the concepts of justice and karma, exist as nothing more than ideal notions that we have created in response to the chaotic, amoral, predator vs. prey world that we live in. Bad things happen to good people, while awesome things happen to selfish sociopaths.

[sumguy]

Friend of mine once said: "There are two types of people in the world, those who do nothing and get everything, and those who do everything and get nothing."

 

I disagree, It's not the person, it's your outlook on life.

[friscodj]

Yep, happens all the time. But something I've learned is that many people who appear to have it made on the outside are often unhappy and unfulfilled on the inside.

 

True fulfillment I've found comes from working for , getting pissed, overcoming that which seems unfair, and making it happen anyway while throwing two middle fingers in the air and laughing...

 

Think of it as "earning success by overcoming" vs. "being handed success"...that might help you sleep better...

[InaneCathode]

Well, to be fair it could be the person. I havent won the lottery yet, that doesnt mean i suck, that means my number hasnt come up. Some people's number come up again and again and again.

 

Numbers favor none and fall unequally.

 

Aside from the whole cosmicosity of statistics, you're experiencing a bit of sour grapes and need to realize your self worth isnt connected with anything but your mind.

[bhzmafia]

Keep working at it - soon you will get what you deserve, and so will he.

[Boughtandpaidfor]

I have the same problem- someone I really have a lot of anger towards- someone who really hurt me- but who just seems to get all the breaks. He gets fired from one job and walks effortlessly into another- which ten times better than mine. Lies all the time and gets away with it. Treats nice people badly and doesn't get blamed.

 

I think my anger at him is the only thing stopping me. I think he has a better idea of what he wants. Whereas my life is generally in relation to others- constantly comparing and depending on others criticism and praise to define my actions.

 

I don't know how you stop something like that. Obviously I hate and admire the person at the same time.

 

I believe everyone gets exactly what they deserve

 

And what you deserve= what you want

 

So if you DONT want to watch where you're going- then you deserve to get hit by a car

If you really want to be successful then you deserve to and you can.

 

Often people say they want things but they think they dont deserve them and so they cant get it. If you are down are yourself/think you are less than others then you don't deserve the breaks. Because you aren't willing to do the things it takes.

 

That's how I try to think about it. Doesn't stop me getting jealous though.

[bzborow1]

Thanks guys! I don't mean it as though he's successful and I am not as I have a great job that pays well...it's just frustrating sometimes because I had to scour the streets, apply for tons of jobs, etc...whereas w/him it seems like he gets up at 11, applies for 1 job and gets it.

 

I guess it'd be easier to be happy for him if he wasn't so lazy and lucky.

[InaneCathode]

I'm one of those people that good things just drop into my lap, we're not lazy, just lucky

[babypink61]

Yeah I know what you mean . . . I have to work through college and pay for my own tuition (still paying off the debts now!!) and some of my friends got a full ride off their parents, with a free car or free townhouse even after they graduated! Life is just not fair sometimes . . .

[Celadon]

I know what you mean, too. And yeah, life's not fair. So my question to myself had to become ... what good is it getting me to be jealous of someone? Instead of reacting, I'm trying to just let things slide. Focus on what I want. Believe me, there are millions of things to be upset about in life (I've identified most of them, lol), but I've learned the hard way to not care so much what's happening with others. I believe someone once put it this way, "Run your own race."

 

of course, your situation brings up other, more philosophical questions about life and fairness and justice, but I'm just giving you my practical take on it. Peace.