celticghirl Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 i am soo confused. my recent ex (jack) split up with me because i failed to tell him that my ex (jason) before him tried to rape me. i was devastated and dropped the case against jason because i couldnt cope and i started self harming. i was beginning to console myself, kept telling myself that it is time to move on and just concentrate on other things. jack called me 2 nights ago and is saying that he was out of line for leaving me like that and that he is sorry. ive been messed around soo much i dont know if i should give him another chance or not. i dont want to get hurt again but i still care about him. i am meeting him today after work to set the record straight but im worried. i love him but how can i guarantee he wont do that to me again? should i give him a second chance? Link to comment
SkylinesTurnstiles Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 No.What he did to you wasnt fair.And you cant guarantee he wont do it again Link to comment
DN Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 He's admitted he was wrong and apologised. Personally, I believe in second chances. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 ive been messed around soo much i dont know if i should give him another chance or not. i dont want to get hurt again but i still care about him. i am meeting him today after work to set the record straight but im worried. i love him but how can i guarantee he wont do that to me again? should i give him a second chance? I think giving someone a "second chance" in relationship terms has to come from your head and your heart. I've experienced this situation several times from both sides and if your heart isn't 110% into a "second chance", it really isn't a "second chance"...the emotional investment and subsequent balance in the relationship just won't be right if this isn't the case and has lead to heartbreak down the road for me and/or my ex... Is your heart really 110% into this or do you want it to be but it just isn't? Link to comment
celticghirl Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 I think giving someone a "second chance" in relationship terms has to come from your head and your heart. I've experienced this situation several times from both sides and if your heart isn't 110% into a "second chance", it really isn't a "second chance"...the emotional investment and subsequent balance in the relationship just won't be right if this isn't the case and has lead to heartbreak down the road for me and/or my ex... Is your heart really 110% into this or do you want it to be but it just isn't? see im not sure. im soo double minded about this. i keep weighing the pros and cons of our relationship and we did have a great relationship together. im due at work in 2 hours then im meeting him afterwards this evening. im not going to meet him with any high hopes. im going to hear him out and see how i feel. i love him soo much but he caused me grief for leaving me when i really needed him. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 It's good that he recognises that he reacted badly but ultimately you have to decide if you can trust him again. I think you need to sit down and really communicate clearly with each other over this and then spend some time deciding. Don't rush into a decision. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 see im not sure. im soo double minded about this. i keep weighing the pros and cons of our relationship and we did have a great relationship together. im due at work in 2 hours then im meeting him afterwards this evening. im not going to meet him with any high hopes. im going to hear him out and see how i feel. i love him soo much but he caused me grief for leaving me when i really needed him. I suggest you figure out what you really want before making a decision. Women who "didn't know what they wanted" or "didn't know how they felt" hurt me the worst... It sounds like there is a bit of bad air between you two for the grief he caused you. Perhaps getting it all out and unloading your feelings on that matter will help you get past that situation... And I really believe if the new relationship is to work out long term, your head and heart have to be completely in it... Link to comment
rmpavlock Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 I would definitely take time to think it over. In my last relationship, I gave my ex a second chance(probably more of a third or fourth chance, now that I think about it), and the minute I agreed to it I felt worse. It wasn't long after that before I ended things for good. Make sure that's what you really want before agreeing to do anything. Link to comment
rmpavlock Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 One more thing. Personally, I think it was way out of line for him to leave you like that. What happened to you is extremely personal and it's totally up to you to decide when to confide about something like that. Link to comment
Cid Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 The question I have for you is do you? Do you think you can trust him not to run for a secound time? I can see his point at that moment though. The girl that you like starts crying and then tells you that she was allmost raped by her ex. That would make me think that I was acting like her ex and that would bother me. All though I would have called you like a day later and told you how I feel. I know that you have good judgment, just trust your hart and mind on what to do. Link to comment
celticghirl Posted September 8, 2006 Author Share Posted September 8, 2006 we are not getting back together...he is still acting selfish and immature. oh well Link to comment
Cid Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Well you are doing the right thing, I wish you the best of luck. Link to comment
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