My Story (long & mildly crazy)

[mikeca]

well were to begin, I've been posting on here since May when I initiated a final NC (making her decision final) and then began contact recently with some results, but rather than spoil it, I'll write it out here..

 

We first met in April of 2005 my friends older sister, not much interest a first I consider here just that, my friends sister. I go to Place "A" visiting some family and she begins sending me emails to which I respond and they get more playful. I come back in May with a new vehicle, I go over to my friends house to show him but hes going off to work, but there is his sister, and she asks to come for a ride. We hang out that night and talk, and you can imagine we begin to see more and more of each other, so after seeking the "OK" from the friend we begin dating.

 

We go on numerous trips to see her friends that summer and have a wonderful christmas, where she says she hopes to let me into her life completely but is scared. (Let me backtrack a bit here, shes been out of a bad relationship but it still hard for her to forget) At the end of January her family moves away down south, and her brother (my friend) goes away to police academy ( I hope to do the same soon).

 

We spend some time talking about me moving in the spring but coincdently we will be in Place "X" in February so we meet up while were down there and have some great times. Well about a week after we arrive back in our small town we begun to have some fights about my job, I was constantly ranting about this job I hated at the time and it added stress to her fire. I sense whats happening and implement a week break but it still starts to deteriorate and sure enough we break up, but she wants to remain friends. So for the month of April I do all the classic mistakes, some gifts/long emo. emails/etc. Then I finally say what I want either its a relationship or nothing, and so begins NC.

 

The summer begins to pass and I hear through the grapevine all the usual things, one of interst is that a co-worker of mine (who I trained at this same job) has begun hanging out with her, alot. One time in particular he leaves our group of friends and goes to sit with her....heh naturally Im a little bit angry but I figure oh well Its not my place to say anything, and if I do i'll just look like a jealous Ex.

 

So now her brother is done the schooling and comes back and we hung out for the week he was here, now I was thinking of breaking NC around the end of summer anyway but its also this time I hear shes moving. Now i'm at the point, oh well, now theres no chance of getting back together, but I still care, and would like to say goodbye and wish her the best (selfless love) So at the club one night I go up to her after dancing with other girls and having a fun night and say " I have one dance left in me for you" She turns and smiles and gives me a big hug, and proceeds to talk about how she thought I hated her, I tell her we should say goodbye next week and hang out for a day, she agrees.

 

We hang out and at first its a little awkward, but we phase into conversation pretty quickly, talking about what we've done and our goals for the future. Theres some appologys and one shocking statement she makes, "I'm still not over you, in fact I still love you" now I'm shocked I went into this expecting nothing and now I hear this, so I'm kinda taken back. somehow we end up at her place and were saying goodbye, as I'm going to leave I say screw it, and I turn back suddenly and kiss her, I stop and its kinda weird for a second, then she comes back and kisses me.

 

Overall Im still not diving into this much I figure it was just residual emotions left over for the times we shared, so we make plans to head out on Saturday for one last club night. and I'm still like oh well atleast one more time to hang out. We go for a walk saturday but its still kinda distant almost like a 'first date' feeling. and later she kinda ditches me but I had plans to go out with the guys too. We end up at the bar and we began drinking and then she shows up and rushes right to me and pulls me out to the dance floor. We're dancing and have a good time but I'm still not giving it too much, but its feeling damn good. She begins hinting at things and sure enough were kissing on the dance floor. Now heres the midly crazy part.

 

The co-worker was there, he in fact just got a job at this club with his brother. and later she tells me that he was REALLY into her, for the time I was gone she'd hang out with his brother and her friend (the brothers GF) and they'd always call his younger brother to hang with them. and a couple of weeks ago he began to say stuff "you shouldnt be dancing with other guys your mine" which freaked my ex out cuz she just thought of him as a nice younger friend (hes like 19, I'm 21 and shes 23) So I begin to notice looks from those two but didnt piece it together until this. Closing time hits and were moving out the door when the brother goes "hey 'name' stay here for awhile and we'll all leave together" a clear attempt to stop her from leaving with me, it fails. and I get the bad looks from them.

 

so ofcourse you can guess what happens that night...no need to describe it..

 

The next day shes all over me still so I begin wonder, we go out for breakfast and talk about how crazy this week has been we've gone to not talking to sleeping together and sure enough she says lets get back together. Now im minimizing this part because she said alot of things in order for me to take this serious (she broke up with me) but she is still suppose to be leaving monday moring, so we have one day left to hang out, so we drive out the highway for some hiking (yes i own a jetta) and then we get some food at the waterfront, where another odd thing happens, her car doesnt start! we ended up fixing the problem and then I'm surprised but she asks me to come with her to Van for a trip, I'm a little surprised but agreed. But we dont plan for monday departure were thinking tuesday.

 

Monday rolls around and I begin to have 2nd thoughts about the trip, is it too much too soon? I find out from an unlikely source that her car wouldnt work at all now, so I ask her why I wasnt the first to know (its late in the evening i'm telling people im going away and packing) then she says she cant leave on tuesday either, and I begin to get mad that she didnt tell me right away, we have a fight, im not gonna lie it was something, felt that breakup feeling again, and she says maybe the trip isnt a good idea, but I go over the next day during some final packing/cleaning and talk with her about what I can see for us and she does the same and we work it out.

 

I surprise her when I tell I also agree that the trip might be too much too soon and we agree to an LDR. We have one great night again with her best friend and I sleep over so we all can say goodbye in the morning, and we share alot that night too personal to share here but I finally begin to feel her opening up again.

 

But she's still leaving, I've fallen for her again and it hurts but not like it did before, so we say our final goodbyes and kisses and agree to call and email, all the LDR stuff.

 

And thats where I am now after 4months of NC were back together but it is far from perfect, and far from what I expected, I gave up when I heard she was leaving and expected nothing. I'm still taking this day by day and improving myself still while were apart but I wrote this out so people can read it and possibly learn something from me, she said she wishes I broke NC earlier but I knew it wouldntve been the same, I waited till I was ready and things settled. This is by no-means a perfect example of NC, but I credit it for this andthe person I've become.

 

Thanks to everyone on here whose given advice to anyone, and especially superdave. I never really talked to you but alot of your advice helped me, once again. thank you.

 

p/s I played this lyrics in my sig to her and she loved it, ( i loved it too)

[empty421]

congrats!! im kind of in the same boat - minus the LDR, but i wish you the best of luck... it isnt easy, but if you two are really commited to making things work you will....

[Belle]

I hope it works out for you Mike. Congratulations on your self control. Good things come to those who wait.