Spugly Fuglet Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Ok this is going to sound odd but why sex and Spanking? I have a mate (yes its a real mate not me) whos so into this stuff its nuts Im strate and hes bent as a 9 bob note, and hes a good mate from work. who i have knowen fro years him and his BF, last night in the Pub this came up. SPANKING for fun Me I like OMG can any one tell me why getting the your tush hit like hell is a sex thing? I just do not get it what is all about and feel kind of bumb. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 a little pain never hurt anyone Link to comment
RayKay Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Well, I don't think spanking requires "beating". I mean some people like to pull out the old cat o' nine tails, but in most cases it's a bit more tame than that. It's partially an emotional/pyschological response to the "naughtiness" but a large part of it is actually chemical...the slight pain heightens the pleasurable sensations. The pain is actually minimal because the endorphins you have going reduce it, but that mix can really heighten the arousal/pleasure. Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted August 18, 2006 Author Share Posted August 18, 2006 No where talking real big betting butt here, the why he went on it sounded like Bondage stuff but hes not to to that so he says. I should have asked him out right but like I say dod not wont to sound dumb. Ouch to me is not a sex thing is a pain thing, a power thing Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted August 18, 2006 Author Share Posted August 18, 2006 It's partially an emotional/pyschological response to the "naughtiness" but a large part of it is actually chemical...the slight pain heightens the pleasurable sensations. The pain is actually minimal because the endorphins you have going reduce it, but that mix can really heighten the arousal/pleasure. RayKay that I get there bouth adrenalin nuts, always jumping out of plaines over the LA hills. And doing the death runs on snow bords. So its just a selfmade drug thing cool I get that. Thanks Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 For some people the normal climax of sex is not enough. Pain receptors fire up endorphins and an endorphin rush for some can be more pleasurable. As long as it is not getting out of hand and both parties are willing, what's the harm? It's part of some kink and fetish cultures and knowing the limits and desires of your partner certainly bodes for good communication skills! RC Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Some people like pain with their pleasure. It can provide some extra stimulation and to be honest people are into stuff that is far beyond spanking. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 I like being spanked, it's all in how the brain interprets the sensation. I recall reading that the backside is full of nerve endings that we never lost after we evolved away from monkey sex. I don't know if thats the case but it's as good an explanation as any I've heard. And some people do get off on the power exchange. Amd some people just don't get it. Nothin dumb about it - it's all just a matter of sexual preference. Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 I know that personally, when I am in pain anywhere, my skin becomes super sensative and every little touch is exquisite... So.... thereforeee I enjoy a little spanking/whipping/hair pulling/biting/etc etc etc... The more the better, but it makes the contrast with the tender stuff always so nice too afterward. It makes the slow stuff later so much more enjoyable to have something to contrast it with... Link to comment
RayKay Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 I know that personally, when I am in pain anywhere, my skin becomes super sensative and every little touch is exquisite... So.... thereforeee I enjoy a little spanking/whipping/hair pulling/biting/etc etc etc... The more the better, but it makes the contrast with the tender stuff always so nice too afterward. It makes the slow stuff later so much more enjoyable to have something to contrast it with... Oh yeah...little nips of the teeth followed by kisses...mmmMMMMM good. It is definitely about the contrasts. I always have liked a bit of the "pain" mixed in, and there is no logic as to why - it was just something I developed a preference for as I became more sexually confident and aware of what I liked. Link to comment
NJRon Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Pain receptors fire up endorphins and an endorphin rush for some can be more pleasurable. Even though true... it just doesn't sound quite as fun when you describe it this way... Link to comment
monkey1 Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 My boyfriend slapped my bottom outside of sex once or twice which confused me because no one has ever done that to me. I later learned he has a thing for butts. He also slapped my * * * during sex a few times which I wasn't sure how to react except that after a bit, i kind of liked it. It later turned me on. He likes it because he is being dominant and takes pleasure in knowing it turns me on. Of course he never does it to the extent that it turns my * * * red or I'm in total pain. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Well, I don't think spanking requires "beating". I mean some people like to pull out the old cat o' nine tails, but in most cases it's a bit more tame than that. I wouldn't be the "some people" you refer to, would I? LOL. Just in case you don't know, spugly, I am one of those folks who is into the more extreme stuff. I've been very open about it in the appropriate threads here. I realize that there are probably more people in the world who don't understand the attraction, so you are definitely in the majority on this one and I'm in the minority. I've always been an intensity junkie, not just in the sexual parts of my life, but in all areas. Spanking, flogging, and the rest of that kinky fun stuff feeds into that intensity junkie-ness in physical, sexual and psychological sense. Yeah, there's endorphins and all that, and I'm sure that's part of it, but after years worth of discussion with other kinky people, I've come to the conclusion that we may be wired a little different than most. What others may perceive as "pain" and "unpleasurable" makes us go "mmmmm, can I have another?" And if it's not the sensation itself (I'll freely admit that there are things I've had done to me that flat-out hurt...needle play leaps to mind), the rush that follows as the sensation is taken away OR you have to find a way to cope with the sensation is mighty addictive---if you're wired that way. In addition there's the psychological aspect of allowing another person to do things to you that most people would want to have them arrested for doing. For as much as "trust" and "communication" are essential components of a good non-kink relationship, they become a little more important when someone's doing things that could cause serious bodily injury. Not everyone wants to go to that mental territory, and that's cool...but some of us can't seem to stay away from it. So the challenge becomes, how do I fulfil that need in a way that is as safe as possible? One of the basic books about BDSM that I've recommended to a number of people is one called "Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns" by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon. There's a line in it that I have always liked and I thought was as good an explanation as any for why I am the way I am...It goes along the lines of "Most people like to avoid their demons, we like to harness ours up and take them out for a ride." Incidentally, when it comes to emotional pain, I'm about the biggest wimp there is. 20 strokes with a rattan cane? No problem. Yell at my cat about something? Call my therapist for an emergency appointment. Not quite that bad. But I do see people post some relationship problems/situations on here...stuff that they've been dealing with for months or years...that I know I couldn't endure for 6 weeks before I'd be running out the door screaming. At the same time, a typical fun-time Saturday night at my house would have them calling 911 for the police and an ambulance. Differences like that are what keep life interesting. Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 OH! Coollady, can I come be a houseguest for the weekend?? Pretty please?? lol. Or can I just borrow your cane pole and some restraints to take with me to visit a friend?? Link to comment
Psylocke960 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I love to be spanked. For me, it's that mentality of, "You've been a bad girl so you need to be spanked!" It just makes me feel naughty and inferior! Link to comment
freefallin Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 To surrender to someone you trust is very erotic. You are in a different world and all the stress goes away. As each stroke gets alittle harder to take it challenges you. After the spanking cuddle and kiss. Freefallin Link to comment
Majoraslayer Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 So, let me get this straight. In the bedroom in the nude, its a kinky way of expressing your love (so long as each partner consents). However, if two people consent to bring each other pain on the street, it usually means an expression of extreme dislike, conflict, and possible criminal record. Duly noted! Now I'm afraid of sex. What if I get a girlfriend who beats the out of me? I usually associate "pain" with "bad" (though there have been times I wish I had beaten my ex to a pulp, but hindsight's 20/20 and I'm not the abusive type). Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 So, let me get this straight. In the bedroom in the nude, its a kinky way of expressing your love (so long as each partner consents). However, if two people consent to bring each other pain on the street, it usually means an expression of extreme dislike, conflict, and possible criminal record. Duly noted! Now I'm afraid of sex. What if I get a girlfriend who beats the * * * * out of me? I usually associate "pain" with "bad" (though there have been times I wish I had beaten my ex to a pulp, but hindsight's 20/20 and I'm not the abusive type). It's all about communication! Link to comment
NJRon Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Actually, my ex-wife got offered $200 by a married guy to beat the crud out of him in an alley. She declined. I could never figure out why... Link to comment
dazzednconfused Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Haha why is it when i spank my girls butt, not even very hard, she looks at me like * * * are you doing? haha Link to comment
NJRon Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Hmm.. probably because she is wondering * * * you are doing... stop it Link to comment
FiredandHurt Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 Same holds true for guys sometimes....if my wife teases me all day with "I am going to spank your * * * tonight but good", it gets me all jazzed up all day so that when we have sex it is awesome. I love to be spanked. For me, it's that mentality of, "You've been a bad girl so you need to be spanked!" It just makes me feel naughty and inferior! Link to comment
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