I want to flirt with him but not scare him off

[Karibo]

Hi guys theres a guy at work who I fancy and sometimes I think he fancies me too, but other times i'm not sure if he's just being friendly.

 

Well to be honest I don't think he can tell if I like him more than friends either. Well, I want to make it clear to him that I like him more than friends without actually coming out and saying it.

 

How do i flirt with him and make it obvious that I like him without scaring him off or making him feel uncomfortable at work? It's hard when there are always people around.

 

I want to be feminine and am a strong believer of the man making the first move because this has always worked out for the better in my experience, so that's why I don't want to be too overpowering.

 

Thanks

[Swimbaby]

Oh man, I would have so much fun with this. When you know both of you are working together, make sure that you wear makeup (if you normally do, wear your "good makeup") and do your hair fabulously and flawlessly! I'm notorious for walking past a guy I like and just smiling in a "I have a secret and you don't know it and I'm not gonna tell you" kind of way. Make yourself seem mysterious. Try not to be overly friendly or laugh too much, those things would just scare him off. Sometimes being affectionate like "accidentally" brushing up against him or "love tapping" his arm when he says something funny works on guys too. Usually you can pick out a vibe that works for him.

 

Good Luck!!

[Ms. Babydoll]

just flirt a litte, nothing big, become really good friends with him first, then maybe you should consider asking him to coffee or something, hopefully things will progress from there

[robowarrior]

Guys don't understand the subtle moves of woman, all men are straight forward. If you want something from a man, you will ask it directly in his face. So ask him out directly in his face. We like courage in a woman, if she doesn't have the courage to ask me out directly in my face, but goes (via a friend) then i would be disinterested no matter how beautifull she is.

 

Now in order not to scare the guy away you will have to say it something like this. Hey you don't have to decide directly or anything , but i really want to hang out with you on 'lets say saterday (so he has some time to decide)' i want to see this (scienfiction movie preferably or anything he might suggest) and i was wondering if you wanted to come along.

 

So lets say you asked that on monday, and then give him some time to think, then call/talk to him on friday, and see if he grabbed the bait.

[wind]

yeah,I think robo is right;but I think ask for some coffee should be quite enough

[NJRon]

Are you sure you want to flirt with someone at work? What kind of work environment is it? Do you two work together?

[Considerate Empath]

Agree with Swimbaby on this one.

 

Thought just saying the above was close to unnecessary so would like to add this:

 

Guys don't understand the subtle moves of woman, all men are straight forward. If you want something from a man, you will ask it directly in his face.

 

God, I hate it when I hear things like these. Can't everyone just stop judging a group by one individual? This is like saying: All gay people are afraid of spiders.

 

Not all men are straight forward. I'm not.

 

 

//C.E.

[DN]

Not all men are the same - but there are many shy guys who may hope the understated flirting is directed at them but won't act on it because they are shy and unsure.

 

I do have a bit of an issue with women who won't make the first move because 'it's the man's job to do that' and then complain because they can't get the guy they like to ask them out. The fear of rejection cuts both ways.

[Karibo]

Well we work at a cafe. He is a waiter, I am the cleaner so it's not an office thing or anytrhing like that.

[Jayar]

I'd concentrate on looking great and acting mysterious and confident... Aside from that, just BE there! Don't ask him out. Don't suggest coffee. Would you really want to enter a relationship with someone who didn't take the initiative? You want HIM to pursue you, so that you have that secure feeling that HE picked YOU. Otherwise, how would you know if he was with you because he wanted to be more than anything, or because he wasn't with anyone else at the time and figured it might be fun?

 

I'd be worried that if you started dating on YOUR terms you'd be back here at some point asking us why he doesn't seem that "into" you... And that's never fun. Men aren't afraid to go after what they want. And if he wants you, he'll go after you. What you CAN do is try to appeal to him and make him want you.

 

GOOD LUCK!!!

[DN]

Would you really want to enter a relationship with someone who didn't take the initiative? You want HIM to pursue you, so that you have that secure feeling that HE picked YOU. Otherwise, how would you know if he was with you because he wanted to be more than anything, or because he wasn't with anyone else at the time and figured it might be fun?

 

*sigh* I suppose he just has guess that she wants him more than anything. I sometimes wonder why some women wonder why they are lonely when they just won't stand up to the plate and realise there is no reason why they can't ask a guy out and run the same risks he does. I wonder how many lonely women there are who could have found happiness by being just a little more pro-active.

[RufusDawes]

Tell him he has really nice big strong arms in a joking way. Then wink and him and walk off. He'll probably come to you then and say * * * EH MATE.

 

I know I would.