Hey all!

[Gracelove]

Thanks for all of your love and support.

 

You're replies are so sweet and helpful.

 

I don't know exactly where I'm going.

My confidence has increased, but at the same time things have become complex.

 

I don't know what stage I'm at or what personal planet I'm in......

 

I have school ahead of me, but I feel completely unresponsive to the whole idea.

 

How am I supposed to complete school right now???

 

How will I do it...I don't know.

 

I feel like part of me is growing, but I need a bigger pot.

 

I feel stuffed, stuffed into a small space.

 

I don't even know if I feel like I'll be able to take care of myself.

 

I feel like I'm in a daze.....

like the numbness is leaving, but things are still very hazy.

 

I don't know what to do.

I don't think I'm really able to cry anymore.

 

I think that hardness I never had is starting to develop, and not in a bad way...

I care less about what others think of me.

 

What do I think of myself?

 

Do I think about the rape still?

Yes, in all honesty.....

I'd like to pretend that it's all behind me now, but it's not.

 

I feel like there are so many people that I'll disappoint.

my parents, teachers, my dean....

people who have been kind to me, tolerant of me...patient with me.

 

Maybe I'm not growing fast enough.

 

Everyone seems to think I'm able to do certain things, but I don't know that they are right...

 

How do I change what I am to please others?

Although I care less of what they think I still don't want to hurt them.

 

How do I say, this is who I am, I'm sorry I'm not better?

 

How do I apologize for who and what I am?

 

I'm at a loss......

 

I'm trying to be comfortable in my own skin, and by the grace of God, it's happening.

 

How do I continue to heal without worrying about those who will....tire of standing by my side?

[yeawutever]

You're welcome and glad to hear you're doing well!!!!!!1

[robowarrior]

Well stop putting demands on yourself, and stop letting others put demands on you. You see you have to love ,support, believe in yourself unconditionally. Same counts for other people around you. The whole idea of 'i only love you, if your capable of doing this,that, can jump that high, and can do all this and that.' is just downright rediculous. People should love you for who you are, even if you get zero on all your grades does that make you a bad person? Absolutely not. Just go for Gold in your life , not for anyone else, but for yourself. Because in the end your life is what you make of it. I would just put my mind on zero, and go for the kill into achieving your school, from there you can always decide what you want to do.

[nottoogreen]

Thanks for all of your love and support.

 

You're replies are so sweet and helpful.

You are most welcome and thank you to let us know that we helped.

I don't know exactly where I'm going.

My confidence has increased, but at the same time things have become complex.

You're feeling more natural, healthy and happy and your mind has space and capacity to look around.

I don't know what stage I'm at or what personal planet I'm in......

 

I have school ahead of me, but I feel completely unresponsive to the whole idea.

 

How am I supposed to complete school right now???

 

How will I do it...I don't know.

Oh, it will be "childsplay" me thinks.

I feel like part of me is growing, but I need a bigger pot.

 

I feel stuffed, stuffed into a small space.

 

I don't even know if I feel like I'll be able to take care of myself.

You are bigger now.

 

Hey, when have you last time thought about taking care of yourself, no big deal, it will be sort of automatic.

I feel like I'm in a daze.....

like the numbness is leaving, but things are still very hazy.

 

I don't know what to do.

I don't think I'm really able to cry anymore.

What about that there may be no need to cry because you are much better. Please don't feel addicted to crying but cry when you feel like it, it's healthy!

I think that hardness I never had is starting to develop, and not in a bad way...

I care less about what others think of me.

 

What do I think of myself?

You become a much stronger person now.

Do I think about the rape still?

Yes, in all honesty.....

I'd like to pretend that it's all behind me now, but it's not.

You do not have to pretend, let all go naturally, dont worry, sometimes you feel bad about it but less and less.

I feel like there are so many people that I'll disappoint.

my parents, teachers, my dean....

people who have been kind to me, tolerant of me...patient with me.

 

Maybe I'm not growing fast enough.

You grow fast enough. Please have patience and be persistent.

Everyone seems to think I'm able to do certain things, but I don't know that they are right...

Again, your mind has space and capacity to do things. No problem, the more you do the better.

How do I change what I am to please others?

Although I care less of what they think I still don't want to hurt them.

 

How do I say, this is who I am, I'm sorry I'm not better?

You are better, you can believe it!

How do I apologize for who and what I am?

Be proud of whom you are, no need to apologize.

I'm at a loss......

I hope not for much longer!

I'm trying to be comfortable in my own skin, and by the grace of God, it's happening.

You see, it IS happening!

How do I continue to heal without worrying about those who will....tire of standing by my side?

Your dad and family are with you. Many of your friends and teachers care you too and we won't get tired either.

 

I want to tell you something. About your relationship with your ex. When you met him, you already had a history of depression. You are growing and will overcome depression. You are sort of new stronger Grace and when you are healed you will find a new, better relationship. No Worries!