The Drug Test

[Steven1607307306]

My bad, just seemed you guys were coming off as she's doing the wrong thing for questioning the fact that her bf is using.

 

I apologize, and understand that everyone's opinion is equal, and I, for some odd reason, thought mine was superior. I really apologize, but thanks for putting me in check. I'll shut up now.

[SummerLove]

Steven's the only one that hasn't attacked me here. Thank you much.

 

By the way steven, me and my bf are total Zeppelin fans

 

But anyway, like I stated earlier, I will still wait and see what happens. I'm putting so much effort into this because its for his own good. Not to make me happy... contrary to popular belief..

[doyathink]

LOL, your a sweetie, no need to be quiet. BTW, I have read your posts and good for you....You have done a great job! Keep it up!

 

My bad, just seemed you guys were coming off as she's doing the wrong thing for questioning the fact that her bf is using.

 

I apologize, and understand that everyone's opinion is equal, and I, for some odd reason, thought mine was superior. I really apologize, but thanks for putting me in check. I'll shut up now.

[Daddy Bear]

for the record, SummerLove, i admire you very much for staying away from drugs. i just don't think you understand that you're asking for trouble here. if he isn't smoking weed, he will surely be angry that you didn't trust him. if he is, you will feel betrayed that he said he wasn't. that's why i am of the opinion that you should just count your blessings and be glad that he's not a drunk or a crackhead. i say let it be, unless you want to cause serious damage to your relationship.

[Steven1607307306]

Steven's the only one that hasn't attacked me here. Thank you much.

 

By the way steven, me and my bf are total Zeppelin fans

 

But anyway, like I stated earlier, I will still wait and see what happens. I'm putting so much effort into this because its for his own good. Not to make me happy... contrary to popular belief..

 

Yes Zeppelin is amazing. I understand your concern for his well being, my girlfriend is constantly motavating me to stay sober, and it's because of her that I HAVE stayed sober (for the most part). So I think it's great that you have so much concern for him.

 

LOL, your a sweetie, no need to be quiet. BTW, I have read your posts and good for you....You have done a great job! Keep it up!

 

Thanks! Best time of my life~

[craving_normalcy]

I can understand your concern over whether or not your b/f is smoking again. It shows that you care a lot for him and his future. However, I don't feel he 'owes' you a drug test - you aren't his employer, his mom, or the 'authorities'. If you ask him "are you smoking again?" and he says no - what choice DO you have other than to believe him? If he IS lying, you will know soon enough - THEN you can decide whether or not to continue the relationship. If you care about him like you say you do, I think you should consider TALKING to him instead of 'demanding' a drug test. Easing into a conversation about his use of pot is probably going to be alot more 'acceptable' to him than you acting like a probation officer telling him to pee in a cup! You are lucky he didn't get totally bent out of shape over that - how humiliating! One thing you must learn though is that he's an adult (ok, 17 is close enough) and he's going to do what he wants/needs to do. It is hard to watch someone be self-destructive - BUT - you cannot 'fix' his problems. You cannot 'make' him stop if he's not ready to do that. In order for YOU to help HIM, HE has to want to HELP HIMSELF first! Just ease up, back off a little, and keep your eyes open. If your suspicions continue and/or you find 'proof' that he's still smoking, THEN talk to him - but don't pressure him into a drug test. Have you thought of having him get into a 12-step recovery program???

[doyathink]

Now why can't I ever word thing this ^ way?! This, in a nut shell, is what I was trying to convey but couldn't find the right words.

 

Bravo! You nailed it all in one post craving_normalcy!