a sign to give up??

[gavindark]

I met this girl the other day and I THINK she likes me. I've seen her at a few parties, and somehow we always end up gravitating towards each other and talking for over an hour each time. A few of the occasions have been when we both had a few drinks in us.

 

I finally asked for her number one night and she gave it to me. I called her two days later and talked for a bit, and it turned out we were both going to the same party that same night, so I didn't make any other plans with her. That night, it seemed that she was totally into me. We had our arms around each other the whole night and she took my hand and even led me to the dance floor. While dancing she continued to take my hands and put them around her and then told me she wanted to sit down for awhile. So while on the couch I had my arm around her and she took my other arm and put it around her from the front so I was in essense hugging her. All my friends were telling me I should have kissed her that night, but I didn't. I'm not sure whether to regret that decision or not. Well after that night I totally felt she was into me, but wasn't sure since we were both a big drunk. The next day (yesterday) I called her to go get a cup of coffee with me and we met up and talked for about 2 hours. I thought things went pretty well. However she mentioned that she didn't remember much of the previous night (us dancing) so I didn't know whether to take that as her not being interested, her telling the truth, or her just being embarrassed.

 

So I ended up calling her and asked her out to dinner, which we went to last night. And again, I'd like to think the conversation went well, but it's tough to say with me overanalyzing everything all the time. Well after dinner we went to a bar and had a drink and talked there again for awhile. Again I thought things went well, but I really just don't know. So then I dropped her off at her place. We hugged at her door, she said that maybe we'll see each other this weekend. Then I thought to myself, well if she wants to kiss me, then it's not going to matter how it comes up. So I worked up the nerve and actually asked her if it'd be ok for me to kiss her. She smiled and said something along the lines of "ok, how bout one on the cheek?". So we both quickly kissed each other on the cheek and the date ended.

 

I feel like that was a rejection, and that maybe she's not that into me, but I'm not exactly sure. It'd be great to get some outsider input on what you think. Either way, I think it'd be a good idea to not call her for awhile, and actually give her a chance to call me for a change. I have been the one initiating all the contact between us, and was never sure when the time is right to layback and let her do some of it. I don't want her to think I'm not into her (which I'm not sure how she would...I don't feel like I'm being ambiguous in any sense). So any advice on how to play it from here?

[rose2summer]

Well, it's not rejection, it's because you shouldn't ask before kissing. Just do it, otherwise it is a stressful event. If a guy asked before he kissed me, I would start laughing, and say what she did. If she didn't want you to, which I have had happen, I just give a guy my cheek instad.

[theproman23]

Don't worry man you seem to be doing just fine besides the overthinking part. I am like you I do he same and just stress myself for no reason. I would say go with not calling her for a bit, but make sure to keep yourself busy and doing things that you enjoy. Don't not call her and sit at home waiting for her to call cause that will make you feel worse. Just take it easy and relax, remember all the good things and don't stress the little things. Kissing is a big thing for me too but I would asked too but like rose2summer said just do it next time, it shows confidence and worst comes to worst she'll say no. You guys seem to be having fun with eachother or else she would'nt agree to these dates. It's clear she's interested in you just take it easy and don't obssess. And I am telling you this is the key, keep yourself BUSY while give her a little time to call you. Hope this helps.

[rose2summer]

Yes, be aggressive, but give her a sensual kiss, kiss like the top lip and the bottom, and not just the whole lips together, I think it will work, it sure works for me, and again, I repeat, don't ask, just start leaning into her, and close your eyes...

[bhzmafia]

if you are going to ask, you say something like 'Do you want to kiss me' dont you?

[rose2summer]

if you are going to ask, you say something like 'Do you want to kiss me' dont you?

 

I think he shouldn't ask, it shows insecurity, and it makes it so awkward. I would feel very uncomfortable if someone asked. I have kissed...hmmm...probably 15 men, and none has ever asked, and that was what made it romantic.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

There is nothing wrong with asking, especially if a guy is unsure and shy. I think women should have to initiate a first kiss because then they might understand just how awkward and nervewracking it must be for men, especially shy men. It may be that the shy men and the ones who are not so "polished" and aggressive are the ones who may make more understanding, and loyal partners.

 

You did nothing wrong by asking. Someone who cares about you, won't mind at all.

[Seko]

if you are going to ask, you say something like 'Do you want to kiss me' dont you?

 

Umm, I disagree.

That sounds lame and cocky.

 

If a guy asks to kiss me, I'd rather he simply said "Can I kiss you?" or "I really want to kiss you". With the former, I could nod, and then he could go ahead. With the latter, I could take the lead, or say "So kiss me."

 

It could be a cute moment.

 

If he said "You do want to kiss me, don't you?"...I would actually be turned off. It's not at all sweet or indicitive of him wanting me. I'd probably be confused as to what his motives were. Instead of being flattered, I'd be like "wow, this guy thinks he's hot . Does he just want me to reaffirm that for him?"

[bhzmafia]

Umm, I disagree.

That sounds lame and cocky.

 

If a guy asks to kiss me, I'd rather he simply said "Can I kiss you?" or "I really want to kiss you". With the former, I could nod, and then he could go ahead. With the latter, I could take the lead, or say "So kiss me."

 

It could be a cute moment.

 

If he said "You do want to kiss me, don't you?"...I would actually be turned off. It's not at all sweet or indicitive of him wanting me. I'd probably be confused as to what his motives were. Instead of being flattered, I'd be like "wow, this guy thinks he's hot * * * *. Does he just want me to reaffirm that for him?"

 

Ok then, read it this way

 

if you are going to ask, you say something like "Do you want to kiss me " dont you?

 

get it now?

[Seko]

Ok then, read it this way

 

if you are going to ask, you say something like "Do you want to kiss me " dont you?

 

get it now?

 

Ohh wow, I'm really sorry, I feel dumb now.

 

Still, I prefer the guy to ask if he can or say that he wants to rather than asking if *I* want to.

Sort of the same reasons, I guess. It's nicer for him to say that *he* wants *me* rather than put me on the spot.