Why are some men unattached and unemotional...

[cliche23]

Why are some men in relationships unattached and unemotional. What does it take for you guys to open up and allow themselves to feel? How long can a man be in a relationship and be unattached and unemotional? Is there a reason behind this? Men help me out on this one. And women if you can put your input, that would be great.

 

Thanks in advance.

[Steven1607307306]

Sometimes it may be lack of confidence. The man doesn't want to do anything that would make you think less of him, so he doesn't do anything at all. It's hard for many people to show emotion because of the fact that they don't know how to act around a relationship setting. It also may be that they opened themselves up too much in the past and it hurt them.

 

How long does it take? Really depends on the guy. I always wear my heart on my sleeve, yet if it comes back to haunt me, I don't sulk in sorrow. I love having a personality and it usually takes me maybe a couple days to really open up. But of course you can't spill EVERYTHING, mysteriousness is an early relationship tip, if I'm not mistaken.

[rose2summer]

I have just noticed that in general men just don't like to open up, because they feel it is weak or something. That's what I have been told, who knows? Now women, we love to share everything, well at least I do!

[Steven1607307306]

I have just noticed that in general men just don't like to open up, because they feel it is weak or something. That's what I have been told, who knows? Now women, we love to share everything, well at least I do!

 

There is no difference in men and women when it comes to opening up. It's all about the individual and how secure they are with themselves, and their emotions.

[holyohio]

Women are emotional creatures. Men are logical creatures.

 

Using a woman as a benchmark, men have no emotions !

 

We make decisions based on logic, not emotion. Women mostly run on just emotion. Thus, it is difficult for women to understand why men show "no emotion" compared to what they know....which is being a woman.

 

Maybe you'd care to elaborate on what behavior "lack of emotion" describes.

 

Why don't we confide in anyone? Yeah, it could be a pride/weakness thing. Mostly it's that we want solutions for problems, not sympathy. Sympathy indicates pity, which indicates weakness.

[surreal123]

I think in general if a man becomes to needy that he kills the attraction. Men that are attractive are real men - not wussies. (That's probably why I see a lot of jerks with some of the hotest woman I've ever seen)

 

In nature speaking terms men are destined to be the protectors and the stronger of the family unit. (speaking about how things were in the stone age)

 

Also from early childhood, most men are probably taught/programmed not to show emotion. (Emotional outbursts in general are probably more tolerated with woman than men in early childhood)

[cliche23]

Ok, well when a guy does not allow himself to feel when in a relationship. Although he wants to be in the relationship it's like something is holding back from opening up, letting his guard down and feeling completely comfortable to express himself in ways not just verbally. Especially if you are in a relationship with someone you want to be with, and that person does whatever they can to make you feel secure, comfortable, and happy. So what would be stopping that person?

[Balbina]

I'm actually extremely logical in my decisions, especially in matters of the heart. Yes, emotions can alter my mindset but I think if a man was involved with someone seriously, his feelings could also alter his logic.

 

There was a study I saw in one of the recent Cosmopolitan's where it said the sight of a pretty woman can alter a man's decision making skills. More accurately then, Men are not victims of logic but horomones?

 

These are all generalizations. I know men who are overly emotional and irrational and women who are complete opposites.

 

I think if a man feels comfortable in a relationship and truly in love he will want to share some of his issues with his S/O, but no one ever wants to drop everything on someone else.

 

As for being unattached and unemotional...if you want the same things out of a relationship and are at the same level emotionally, there shouldn't be any conflict. If it bothers you, maybe you're not getting what you NEED out of the relationship.

 

There are plently of guys who argue about having a life and a relationship, but fewer guys would realize the two CAN co-exist. Maybe you should show him the same effort towards the relationship that he is giving to it?

[cliche23]

I think what I should do is try ways of making him feel good, and do what I can to always keep a smile on his face. Because I realize that I don't tell him how much I appreciate him, I should point out his best qualities. That should help some right?

[Balbina]

You're not with someone to have a walking ego-boost walking by your side. While all of that is nice, does he try as hard to make you feel good?

 

If he is unemotional and unattached, he'll have to come around on his own. Overdoing it can make him feel obliged to open up and compliment you back, which is not what you want. You want it flow naturally. You can try the dreaded "talk" about where you stand (I recommend doing it on neutral territory...go out for drinks and bring it up casually) or wait for him to come around.

 

Show him you appreciate it him but don't go out of your way to show him how awesome and supportive you are. He should know that by now.

[DropToZero]

Why are some men in relationships unattached and unemotional. What does it take for you guys to open up and allow themselves to feel? How long can a man be in a relationship and be unattached and unemotional? Is there a reason behind this? Men help me out on this one. And women if you can put your input, that would be great.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

Cause...we're guys, and guys aren't supposed to show emotion. If we do, like others have said, it shows weakness. Personally, I've let myself open up one time completely with one girl, and yeah it would NOT have been as passionate and great as it was if I hadn't opened up...but in the end, I got my heart ripped out and felt pain like I never thought was possible. Lesson learned...and since then I haven't let any others get really close, I sort of just had to say to myself with each girl I've met "I'm not getting attached, and this will be purely a friends with benefits sort of thing/casual dating." And...so far it's worked, cause I haven't even met a girl who was remotely interested in a serious relationship anyways.

[Luck of the Irish]

Why are some men in relationships unattached and unemotional.

 

Two reasons come to mind.

 

One: Men in most societies are socially conditioned to be tough. Providers and protctors for their family, you get the idea.

 

Two: This one hits home for me. I once gave my heart to a girl and she tore it to pieces. So now, by being distant and emotionless, I can function without feeling guilt or pain. Like a robot. I like it, because there is no more pain. I do find occasional bits of happiness. Like going to Starbucks.

[Juha]

Droptozero

 

 

You said my sentiments exactly, except I have had other women who were interested in a relationship but I was not interested in them that way...They did not have it...

 

It will take an extra special person before I ever open myself up emotionally

to any women the way I did to her...

 

They will have to show and prove themselves to me before I let anyone know me 100%...

 

I come first now and protecting myself and my heart is number 1 on my list.

[Sword Breaker]

I'm not really "wussy" as I will do anything to protect whats important to me. Feelings do alter your logic and I mean emotional not physical feelings. I am very logical, to the point to where I will not listen to someone who does not display it, but when my feelings become strong I can't reason very well, and when I do, I tend to make lame excuses for my actions and choices, it sucks. I actually don't know what the deal is with most of us males and not being able to display it, I can understand my feelings I just don't trust many people because of sistuations I've been it. But I sometimes people I talk to online confused me for being a female because of how much I understood some things which is sad I geuss...

[cliche23]

So guys tell me what does a woman have to do to literally gain your trust. As far as my relationship is concerned I allow my boyfriend into my world letting him know just about everything. My mom tells me I am too honest, but honesty is the best policy right. I mean come I understand that most men were raised to suppress their feelings, but you would rather be in a relationship with someone you want to be with and not allow yourself to open up, why be in a relationship? Don't get me wrong I have been hurt myself but I alway open myself up to the possibility of meeting someone who will be good to me just like I have been to others. Instead of holding on to past hurts, I move on from there.