A question?????

[Beautifull-x]

Well me and my bf has been together for 4 months now, i know not that long im 16 hes 17. Im still a virgin and am gonna loose my virginity with him very soon. even though its only been 4 months i dnt think i can wait any longer i like him so much.

 

He said to me today " but condoms isnt an issue right i dont think we will need it" and i was like we`ve got to , he said he will pull out before he cums and put th condom on latr on. Im not on the pill either. So is it ok to do this if he doesnt cum in side me??????

[Mythical_Suicide]

Always use a condom.. you can still get pregnant or catch an STD even if he pulls out.

[Luck of the Irish]

Absolutely not. Some sperm comes out before ejaculation. There's a decent chance you will get pregnant if you don't use a condom. As well as getting a disease (not saying he has one). Make sure he keeps it on the entire time. The pill isn't a bad idea. But use a condom atleast. He's not the one who has to carry a baby in his abdomen for 9 months, so make sure you do it right.

[melrich]

definitely use a condom. Pulling out is about the least reliable form of contraception and as another poster pointed out, condoms offer some protection against STDs.

[Fisch]

Whats up Beautiful-x.

NO IT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT ok for him to try and pull out. Before a male reaches orgasm a good amount of pre-cum will always seep out and there is a good chance that you will get pregnant. At your age that is not a chance you want to take. There is a reason professionals tell people to ALWAYS use a condom. Not to mention that condoms can help prevent the spread of sexually transmited diseases. If you do not use a condom in this situation you are risking a lot for a few moments of pain that (to be pessimistically honest) you will probably regret anyway.

[Day_Walker]

Use a condom, the consequences are much greater if you dont.

[Bethany]

He is mistaken about withdrawing, it's extremely risky and should not be used as a form of birth control.

Start as you mean to go on and make it clear to him before you even think about having sex.... NO condom, NO sex and mean it.

 

This is your life, your body and he must respect your decision. If he can't do that, he's not worth losing your virginity to.

[mystik]

he said he will pull out before he cums and put th condom on latr on.

 

Why on earth would he put on the condom AFTER he cums?

 

It's like putting on your seatbelt AFTER you've just gotten into a car accident...

 

Like some people mentioned above, there is pre-cum, which also has sperm in it, that exits before he cums. You could easily get pregnant from that too before he comes. You should also look into getting birth control before you have sex if you're worried. I am on the pill, PLUS I make my partner wear a condom. You can never be too careful.

[hosswhispra]

He may be thinking about his own pleasure by stating that condoms are not necessary.

 

I advise you to think of yourself FIRST (hey why not, right? Afterall, he's looking out for himself first) and protect yourself from an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.

[Sally00]

"The very truth is that pre cum has been found not to contaim sperm. The ONLY way it can contain sperm is from a previous ejaculation in which you did not urinate. thereforeeee, it is a very low chance of someone becoming pregnant due to pre cum, if the person did not have a previous ejaculation, it is highly unlikely."

 

Sex is still very very risky. It complicates everything. I suggest not doing it... especially when you're very young.

[rikka]

No condom, no sex. Simple as that.

[PittItaliano]

Tell him that sex won't happen without a condom! There is always way more of a chance of getting pregnant w/o a condom. Plus, if he doesn't pull out in time, your in big trouble.

[PRSOV]

I agree with the others and I would never have sex without a condom under those circumstances.

 

Ask yourself:

 

i) Do I want to risk becoming pregnant at such a young age?

ii) Could I afford to have an abortion if I accidentally became pregnant?

iii) Do I really want to risk catching an STD?

 

The answer to all of these questions should be No, because they are all preventable if they take the appropriate measures. Condom, and be taking the contraceptive pill.

 

PR

[dw_rc...Confused]

He's not the one who has to carry a baby in his abdomen for 9 months

 

And look after it for the next 18 years

[valiantv]

a "18 - 27%" failure rate using withdrawal (that's according to link removed. Not advisable.

[Ash]

"The very truth is that pre cum has been found not to contaim sperm. The ONLY way it can contain sperm is from a previous ejaculation in which you did not urinate. thereforeeee, it is a very low chance of someone becoming pregnant due to pre cum, if the person did not have a previous ejaculation, it is highly unlikely."

 

While this statement in itself is true, when is the last time he could have ejaculated? Sperm can live for extended periods of time. Again, granted, urination in theory flushes them out, but are you willing to bet 100% that it's okay? I wouldn't.

 

Wear a condom. You'd be AMAZED at how fertile the human body can be. Don't take a chance.

[RayKay]

Who is a condom not necessary for? For him? Wonder how quickly he would change his tune when there was a pregnancy scare.

 

The "withdrawal method" is extremely risky and to be honest...kinda stupid. Unless you are prepared that a pregnancy CAN happen, it is the worst method you could do (well, I guess asides from not withdrawing..). The failure rate is tremendous, I have seen it from 20-40%. Not really a risk worth taking, especially not at 16, unmarried and not supporting yourself at this time.

 

Never mind risk of STI's.

 

And sweetie, you may love him, but never give your body to someone whom clearly does not respect you enough to also care about being safe and protecting you from the risks.

 

Be very clear that "no glove, no love". And go see your own doctor to also discuss birth control methods you can use in addition to condoms to further protect yourself. If you do have sex, remember you must also go see your doctor regularly for pap smears and STI checks. Not all STI's have symptoms.

[Beautifull-x]

Thats exactly what i thought the pregnacy thing came straight to my mind. But he was like " i dont need to wear one trust me if u trust me whats the point of us" so i kinda just said ok, havent had sex with him yet but when i do quite soon il deffently try and get him to wear one. I love im i just wanted to make him happy so i said yeh. Thanxs for the advice guys.

[RayKay]

Um, don't just TRY and get him to wear one, either he wears one or you DON'T sleep with him.

 

I understand wanting to make him happy, but that does NOT come at cost of your health either. How happy will he be when you are pregnant? How happy will you be when you find out you have herpes for example? NOT worth it!

 

Whether you trust him or not is IRRELEVANT as his sperm cannot be trusted...they can still get you pregnant!

 

If he chose to not be with you because you wanted to protect yourself and use condoms, then honey he is NOT the guy you should be sleeping with in first place.

 

Don't let love make you naive and gullible.

 

If he genuinely loves YOU he would want to be careful and safe too. Don't sleep with him to keep him, or because you love him...do it only as you already have a bond built on trust, honesty and because he loves you too..not says he does, but shows he does. This means he would be willing to wear a condom for you!

 

If you are not strong enough to insist on being responsible, and he is just plainly refusing to be responsible...you are NOT ready to have sex.

[Ash]

You may trust him but you can't trust sperm!

[neva_black_n_white]

Hey!

its too difficult for anyone to clearly say that theyd be able to do that. i think that it would be a little bit of a silly choice to not use any protection.

 

a bit of a naive judgement.

 

you should stick to your guns on this one. protection only!

 

there could be far more problems afterwards if it doesnt all go to plan.

 

(hes going to be nervous .. likely.. maybe.. possibly.. how is he certain that his heads going to be in the right place)? its really not safe.

 

PROTECTION all to way!

[Bethany]

He is only 17, so I wonder if he is too embarrassed to say that he will feel uncomfortable or silly puting one on infront of you because of his lack of expertise in these matters? Worth a thought.

[dontwantthis]

Hope this isnt too late, but my best friend got pregnant when she was 17, despite her boyfriend pulling out each and everytime before he came.

[Deviant_Kate]

Thats exactly what i thought the pregnacy thing came straight to my mind. But he was like " i dont need to wear one trust me if u trust me whats the point of us" so i kinda just said ok, havent had sex with him yet but when i do quite soon il deffently try and get him to wear one. I love im i just wanted to make him happy so i said yeh. Thanxs for the advice guys.

 

If you LOVE him, you'll do what's best for him, which is to make sure he doesn't become a father before he can even become a high school graduate. Not only do you have to worry about pre-ejaculate, you need to remember that there is such a thing as premature ejaculation and it's EXTREMELY common in teenage boys. He may intend to pull out before ejaculating, but that doesn't mean he will - sometimes things happen so fast you can't control them.

 

If HE loves YOU, he'll wear a condom. If he's not willing to wear one EACH AND EVERY TIME, he's a selfish PRlCK because he's choosing his personal pleasure over your future. Do you really want to lose your virginity to someone who doesn't care enough about you to protect you?

[SarahRose]

Since you are planning in advance to have sex do the mature and responsible thing like both of you go to a clinic and listen to the birth control options that are available. I would strongly suggest getting on the pill before having sex and take it an entire cycle before beginning to have sex. Make him wear a condom each and every time. Have him put it on before his penis is touching you. Make sure the condoms are new not ones that are a year old that have been baking in the glove box for 6 months. If he has had sex before have him get tested for STDs while you are at your clinic appointment. Do all this and then you'll be ready.

 

If he is unwilling to do this, then he doesn't care enough about being responsible to do the right thing. You may love him but he is young and may just be itching to pop that cherry.