For guys: How would you feel about your girl being with another woman?

[OceanEyes]

Easy question for the guys - how would you feel about your girlfriend being with another woman? Would you consider it cheating or just not care?

[PRSOV]

In what terms do you mean?

 

Do you mean just a makeout session or actually seeing her as a partner?

 

That is so confusing LoL

 

PR

[OceanEyes]

lol ... sorry if I wasn't clear enough.

 

I mean sexually. If she basically 'stepped out' with another woman.

[PRSOV]

I think you can take it one of two ways:

 

1) Whoa, maybe I just wasn't right for her and it's great that she has discovered her true sexuality.

 

2) Be completely cut

 

I don't know how I'd take it actually... Good question though!

[chai714]

Not sure about this one. It might fulfill part of a fantasy but if I were in a long term relationship then I'd be jealous. Would I be as jealous compared to if she were with another man? No, definitely not. Would it be cheating? Yes. Is it a dealbreaker? Probably because trust is still lost since she went behind my back.

[Day_Walker]

I dont believe that it makes a difference it she steps out on the relationship with another guy or a girl, it still undermines the relationship. At this point it can be difficult to say what will happen, if the guy wants a threesome, this would be a great opportunity. After the act it would depend on how the guy felt about the girl and if he saw a future with her. I believe that her stepping out on the relationship shows her true colors that she isnt the going to be committed. I would know that she doesnt have that long term potential at that point and I would suggest some ideas and see how open she would be to them.

[RayKay]

Well, obviously I am not a guy, but my boyfriend follows that same reasoning that Day_Walker expressed above (we have discussed these things just as conversation ). Either way, we both believe that being with someone other than partner of same or opposite sex is showing one's true colours and their 'commitment' to the relationship.

 

I can guarantee that he would NOT see that person as a potential long term partner in their future anymore. So, he would not "care to be with her anymore".

 

And I would feel the same if the situation was reversed.

[tylercdurden2004]

Rarely a good plan. I think Poco Diablo had some great pointers on the subject of being in a long-term (marriage)with a bi-sexual woman in another thread. If its a one off or casual relationship probably wont be a big deal but for long-term relationships it seems to be a recipe for disaster.

 

The problem and Poco pointed this out is it creates a huge power imbalance in teh relationship because the girlfriend get to eat her cake and have it too. The guy usually comes secondary. The question I would ask the girlfriend is:

 

Are you OK with your BF going out to the bar and picking up another girl and him sleeping with her without you?

 

If its a true open relationship then it wont be a problem. But again even in a threesome its all about the GF's needs. Only certain people are able to be in an open relationship.

[holyohio]

funny, cause me and my SO were talking about this just the other day !

 

I try to put myself in that situation, a thought experiment if you will and...

 

No. I just don't see a female as being a major threat to myself, my masculinity, and my ego as much as if it was with another guy.

 

She claimed I said so because I could never really see her doing it...but honestly, I don't think it would bother me.

 

Could it be considered cheating? Yes. Could it be construed as a betrayal of trust and violate the exclusivity of our relationship? Probably.

 

But if she told me or I found out about it, I might be willing to overlook it giving the circumstances and her experience.

 

Whereas, I've already told her, if I found out she was cheating on me with another guy, I'd tell her she'd better come get the box full of her stuff in front of my apartment before it rains. She wouldn't even get a chance to explain.

 

Now if she did it once, and continued to sleep with the girl on the side, it might be a different story because I'd feel that she is not being fair (and I was not satisfying her). The serious mutual exclusivity we have for each other cannot be circumvented just because I said I didn't mind if she experimented with a girl on occation. I shouldn't be expected to be exclusive with her, while she gets to sleep with other girls, unless I can sleep with other girls too...and thus the relationship disolves.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

meh, Boy/Girl. If the woman I'm in a relationship is with a woman... it's cheating. Trust would be out the window in a second, and so would the relationship.

 

Yeah, I've actually been in a relationship with a Bi-sexual woman before and this conversation came up. We both agreed it would be cheating. It's all about respect for your partner.

[tylercdurden2004]

Heres a good example.

 

 

[sumguy]

I think I'd consider it cheating, and while I'd be angrier and more upset if it was with a guy, in the end it doesn't really matter, it's just a different path to the same result.

[Beec]

In fantasy land, I might enjoy the experience. Face it, men have this fantasy.

 

In reality, with a woman I was serious about, she's gone. I could see if she asked me about it, and I said yes, but I wouldn't and no woman I have dated seriously would ask that question.