Siraf Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Here lies a story A boy with no name A soft silent whisperer That burned with no flame One time on one night The boy gazed at a star He reached out to touch it But it was too far He sighed and said gently "I knew it to be, That star is too beautiful, It can't be for me." The star twinkled sadly While the boy walked away Before dissappearing When night became day. Ok it's a little short and nowhere near the way I write my other poems but I felt I could relate to it alot. I wrote it when I was warded in hospital while I was depressed. Tell me what you think! Link to comment
yeawutever Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Wow, keep writing more poems, you can earn lots of money from it, it's so creative!!!!!!! Link to comment
blueangel Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 It's beautiful. The word flow is perfect. So, do tell us though... how does the star come to form in his life? What happens? What is happening to YOU? Link to comment
Siraf Posted July 28, 2006 Author Share Posted July 28, 2006 I guess the boy put his hope in the last thing that never went away, but failed to see the true beauty of it. We should all realise the beautiful things that are right in front of us, instead of looking. Thanks for the comments Link to comment
blueangel Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I like it even better cuz of your explanation now! Link to comment
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