Sum1 help me please!!

[blueeyeguy]

Hello my name is josh and i have a problem with the love of my life right now and if anyone can tell me what they think give me any tips or just help me out please read this!

 

well me and my girfriend have been dating for 6 months now. i am 20 and she is 18 turning 19. well when we first met i knew that she was just the one for me from the start and we got along really well and we started seeing alot of eachother. we felt really comfortable around eachother and we would alwaysask eachother questions about everything. welll naturally our past came up and we told eachother about ourselves. i was for the most part honest with her and i told her i had sex ith 7 people and been in love 1 time before she said that she had has sex with 7 people and lost her virginity at 17 just like i did.

 

well everything was going great i couldnt have been happier with her and she is the sweetest most hard working good woman i know.well she moved in wth me like te 5th month we were together and thats when the problems started. one day she came to me and told me that she had sex with the guys that she lived with in the house that she lived in when i met her. it really killed me because i had to see him everyday when she used to live there and i didnt know anything....not to mention he is 30+ yrs old! i beat her up emotionally and myself. well i thought everything was over and she had got her secret out and i was happy she told me...

 

she said tha she wouldt hurt me again and that was all she had to get off her chest....i believed her and i forgave her for never teling me and i thought it was the end of that...boy was i wrong. 2 days later she came to me again and told me that she had more to tell me ad i was already still in pain from the last secret. this time was worse she told me that she lost her virginity at 15 and she once had clamidia and that she also slept with the other guy that was living in that house she was in when i met her 1 time. i also seen this guy everyday and didnt know anything about it. and that she had slept with 10 people not 7. i was really killed and felt like i didnt know her and i beat my self up and her for it still to this day.now she tells me she wont hurt me again and that she kept it from me cuz she loves me and knew it would hurt me but i think that is a selfish way to do things.

 

she also says that now she is realizing who she is and that everythng she had done was wrong and she is a changed person and i dont know whether to believe her now or not. she has had a rough life early on she watched her dad beat her mom and he left te family when she was very young and her mom never told her se loved her....she said that she wanted to feel like she was loved so she had sex to do tha is it just an excuse? she made me wait 2 weeks before i could have sex with her but most of her partners were one night stands.

 

she also doesnt even have sex with me anymore cuz she says she is trying to find herself and when she has sex she feels like the old her and she just needs time to find out who she is. i know she feels bad about her past and that she would never cheat on me and there isnt a dought in my mind if he lves me or not but i just cant get her past out of my head and sumtimes i think she is dirty and i just see the dudes that i had to see evryday without knowing that she had sex with them when i lok at her sumtimes.

 

i am not innocent in this tho i have cheated on her in our relationship but told her a long time before she told me er secrets and also i hav had an std also and i told her about that when she told me about her secrets. sumtimes ifeel like i should go and even the score and get to 10 people also...it would make me feel beter and she even gave me permission to cuz she wants to see me happy but i know it is wrong. she is the love of my life nd i dont know what to do cuz her past is killing me everyday and i just want to go back loving that same person that i once knew....if u can hlp me out i would appreciate it to the fullest anythng u can comment about will be helpfull thankyou everyone. -blueeyeguy

[DN]

I have split your post into paragraphs so it makes it easier to read and that may help get more replies, please do that yourself in future.

 

You need to decide together if you love each other enough to want to make this relationship work. If you both do want that then your best bet is to go for couples counselling and perhaps individual counselling as well so that you can find out how to deal with all this stuff, put it behind you and start the relations afresh.

 

If you think that the relationship is too damaged then you should separate as amicably as possible.

[robowarrior]

You'll be doing the right thing to leave her. If she is so irrisponsible and immature i wouldn't want to be comitted to her. And if she denies love to you both in spiritual and sexual way because of her past, then she is definitly not ready to be with you in a relationship. I would try to get a girl with less emotional baggage, and who is completely honest with you.

[blueeyeguy]

Yes she said that she is changing now and that she is ready to grow up and be mature.....but do i believe it? thanks for the comments and thx for spacing it for me

[missbrittanyy]

i think that maybe it just took her a while longer to know she could come out and tell you the truth with out you judging her too much. she was probably too scared and unsure of what you'd think of her at first. it's normal for you to feel betrayed, and feel like you don't know her now.. but atleast she came out, and told you, despite how long it took. so in my opinion you just have to ask your self.. if her holding off telling you these things for a while is worth

 

a) beating her up over.

b) beating your self up over.

c) risking your relationship with the girl you claim is the one you're meant to be with

[blueeyeguy]

yes i know that she did not tell me cuz se dint want to loose me and cuz she prob dint want me to judge her ...but isnt that a little selfish

[missbrittanyy]

maybe, but i know i wouldn't tell just anybody that kind of stuff.

[blueeyeguy]

if u gonna make that person ur bf it aint just anybody and u need to be truthfull

[DN]

please do not use netspeak - u - cuz - and so on but type words out. Netspeak is hard for people to read and can result in deleted posts.

[Musica]

Something similar to this has happened to me where I've confessed something to my bf and that would've been the opportune time for him to confess but he didn't....not until later down the line, I found out then he confessed. I was pissed and hurt, just like you..............but 2 wrongs don't make a right.....getting revenge will probably not make you feel better (you just think it will at the moment), it will probably raise even more problems between the 2 of you down the line that's almost guaranteed!!!

 

If you love each other, then there's only one thing you can do, forgive and forget...move on....as hard as that seems right now, it's the only way to be together!