CynicalGuitarist Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 I don't know what to do anymore. My circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller all the time. My self-image is only getting worse, and I don't know what the point of life is anymore. This is getting ridiculous, and I feel like running away and living in the wilderness so I would have none of these god damn societal and social distractions. It will be me, myself facing new challenges and learning to live with nature. Too bad my weak little body couldn't even handle it. Crap! For one, one of the best friends I've ever had is ignoring me. Usually, he would really appreciate my company because we have a lot of the same beliefs about certain things, but now he's just ignoring me. It's not even due to the fact he's too busy to message me or anything, because he'll willingly talk to all his other friends. I know I'm an inefficiant person who can't really do anything right or have the body strength to do anything even moderately "cool" or fun, but he shoulda said something long ago... I woulda been out of his life for good and he could be happy!!! If it weren't for him, the 1 year I spent in public highschool woulda been pure hell, but whatever he wants... I'd rather he be happy than me. I don't even have a girlfriend I could turn to and love, but if me being out of his life makes him happy... then it's his choice. I hate me. I hate myself. I hate the fact that some sick creator (whoever the hell that may be) decided that I be interested in music. I can't even frickin get a band started for chrissake!! All the other musicians around me just want to play covers, mundane pop/rock/emo songs, or do technical scale runs all the time. Forget creativity, forget innovation, forget being daring and making mistakes, paying it safe is where it's at... but then again how the hell do you explain King Crimson? I would go solo, but I have no real recording equipment or anywhere to borrow any because my material will probably suck anyways. The musicians I'm in a band with right now have little in common with me, and we aren't even the same religion. All we do is soup up old video game songs. It's fun for a while, but I wanna make actual SONGS which have been created by me and others... too bad with what's been going on lately, it'll probably never happen. I'm such a loser... no? Yes? Maybe? Oh well... somebody's got to be the loser... somebody's got to be the tool... somebody's got to be the failure... somebody's got to be weak... somebody's got to be ugly... otherwise we'd have nobody to compare that strength and beauty to. Then the world would be a boring sesspool of beautiful perfect angels. I'm still wondering why the responsibility of depressed, ugly, stupid, untalented, boring, weak loser had to be put upon by me. There are people out there that rape, kill, insult, harass, belittle, hoodwink, domineer, torture, and the like that are more successful than good honest people. Screw it... everyone was right... I really do think too much. Hell, I think I ask for too much too. Btw, Syd Barrett (of early Pink Floyd fame) died today at the age of 60 from complications with diabetes. I don't know whether to mourn the fact that he wasn't able to be sane before he died or celebrate the fact that his mind is free and he doesn't have to tolerate this pathetic world any longer. What a mind-job . Link to comment
mgirl Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Finding musicians with compatable interests is probably hard for anyone. I bet if you listened to interviews of some of the worlds most popular bands, they will report on the same fact. In fact, most of them started out attempting a band 2 or 3 times before finding the right combination. In relation to fulfilling your band-desires, i say hang in there. As for the body issues, you are young. A guys body is not fully developed until he is in his 20s sometimes. I have met many young men, whom have sprouted into men after being slight, or whatever you want to call it. Anyway, who wants to be a muscle clad he-man? I find that unattractive. If you really want to work on your body, go to the gym and eat plenty of protein. It can do wonders you know! And when you are fit, you feel better about yourself. Link to comment
mgirl Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 PS. I used to like King Crimson and i still like Pink Floyd. Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 CynicalGuitarist, Widen your interests and range of activities. Change is cure. Link to comment
CynicalGuitarist Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 Shoot, the avatar kitties are so damned adorable. I wish I was able to have a cat as a friend, but my mom is allergic Link to comment
CynicalGuitarist Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 CynicalGuitarist, Widen your interests and range of activities. Change is cure. I'd love to, but I'm too damn broke to go hang-gliding. Link to comment
Bethany Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Get out your acoustic guitar and go into the street and do your thing. Busk. Music puts smiles on peoples faces, make someone else happy. It costs nothing, and could even bring in a few bucks. It's got to be better than sitting miserable at home wishing to be heard. Put an ad in the local paper and start your own band. Send music off to record companies. Doing something constructive beats beating yourself up and being frustrated. Do something!!! Link to comment
mgirl Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Good idea! I always wished i had the courage to busk... so somebody has to do it for me Also, it will be good practice for when you finally do get up on stage... Link to comment
CynicalGuitarist Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 Get out your acoustic guitar and go into the street and do your thing. Busk. Music puts smiles on peoples faces, make someone else happy. It costs nothing, and could even bring in a few bucks. It's got to be better than sitting miserable at home wishing to be heard. Put an ad in the local paper and start your own band. Send music off to record companies. Doing something constructive beats beating yourself up and being frustrated. Do something!!! If only it were that simple... where I live and the streets around town, it's illegal. That's right... I've tried busking, and some police officers told me that it wasn't legal because I could make money off of it. Stupid greedy- * * * * establishment! But the real problem is, people don't wanna hear anything jazzy, they want to hear guitar tricks and mundane emo songs. As far as putting an ad in the paper... because I live in a big city, the chance that anyone's gonna be able to respond to an add for a Progressive/Jazz rock band in the vain of Dream Theater meets Mars Volta meets Yes meets Pink Floyd meets... meh, I think you get the idea. It's not too popular around where I live. Link to comment
Platypus Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Have you ever thought of moving cities? Somewhere where your kind of music is appreciated? That way, you will have a larger network of people who share the same interests and a greater audience. You will open yourself to new experiences and meet new people. Since it sounds like you are kind of in a rut right now (which is exactly where I am) you have nothing to lose, right? Link to comment
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