Who am I - finding the true you

[laral1978]

I have been struggling with this for the past few months. I had the feelings for a couple months now that something isn't right, that something is missing from my life and that i'm not sure what is.

 

Having separated from my son's father over a year ago I know it has nothing to do with being alone. I am actually enjoying getting this time apart and getting know the real me.

 

My questions how do I continue to figure out who I am. Everyone talks about first knowing who you are before you can live your life to the fulliest. I really want to self-reflect and figure out who I am as a person and what I want out of my life. I have finally realized a few thngs today that my ex has been trying to get to me realize for years.

 

I realized that i am not the person I thought I was. I own two businesses that are currenlty barely making ends meet. I finally realized why they are suffering because I am not who I the world thinks I am. I am not a confident, independent women in control of her destiny. I am scared * * * *less of being successful and put off doing the things that I know how to do or put off doing tasks I hate doing...I never saw myself as a procrastiater....this is almost hard to stomach and I don't apply myself to the fulliest.

 

Has anyone gone through this? How can I really absorb this self-relations about who I am. Does anyone know any good books on the subject? Any tips or advice would be appreciated!

[CluelessGuy321]

Mystic Path to Cosmic Power by Vernon Howard is a good intro into self-discovery. A few of his sentences are more powerful than a shelf full of self-help books.

 

Also, look into Feeling Good by David M Burns. He goes over procrastination and ways of correcting negative thinking.

[Maverick32x]

I dont know about books, but whenever i feel like I'm not being "true to myself" i like to either go for a long bike ride.. or a long car ride or something.... and just THINK.

I use to swim alot, so i used to have alot of time to think than.. and it really helped me sort my life out... not that I've had a similiar problem, but it usually helps me when i feel like something isnt right in my life....

 

also, try to be 100% honest with yourself... nothing worse than lieing to yourself about stuff;; good luck ^^

[Haven]

One thing you should definitely do is write all this down. Just write down anything and everything that you're feeling or thinking. This will make your thoughts and feelings concrete, so that you can observe them and see what kind of person you are, and what makes you happy, etc. Basically, keep a journal, whether it's on paper or in Microsoft Word. It's a great way to self-reflect, and is recommended by a lot of people. It's also helped me tremendously.

[vfunkera]

Hello laral.

 

Its great to hear your making the most of single life, that is getting to know and spend a lot of time on YOU, and not sulking or wasting time looking for someone else.

 

Your realization about this pretend self is a step in the right direction in unleashing that authentic self deep down inside you. This pretend self, an image you project to the world, is based less on how you really are, and more on covering how you are afraid you are- that negative self-image. It's a mask, a fraud and a fake that the majority of people in this world live by. Insecurity.

 

The reason why many people are not living the life of their dreams is because they are wasting so much time and energy hiding their negative-self image from the world.

 

I mentioned one of the benefits of a being alone is getting to spend more time on you. It is one of the ways you get to know your authentic self, by being alone with your thoughts, being that person when-nobodies-watching more often, and getting used to her. Being alone is particularly hard for women, who as far as I have noted, HATE it. But it's a constructive thing, not a devaluing thing; as it enables people to be more comfortable with THEMSELVES, rather then rely on materials and objects to that for them for a short while. Indeed, writing these thoughts down helps concentrate and direct your exploration, so make sure you do it.

 

The more time you spend on yourself, the more you will get to know that true self. Every morning, take a moment a to daydream, to imagine yourself next to that authentic you. The you that is loving, powerful, assertive and true. Not a fake. The one who is your subconscious. The one who always makes a comment or a thought through out your day, the sort of comments and thinking that you usually keep in yourself. The you that usually comes out when you're drunk or high. Imagine the real you standing in front of you now. Watch her actions, her aura, her handling. Look through her eyes, breathe through her nose and think what she thinks, say what she says. Remember this through out the day, for as you think you shall become!

 

The more you align your self-image- the imagination and perception of who you truly think you are, with that authentic self, the more rewarding your life will be. The better you feel inside, the better your life outside. While finding your authentic self won't solve life's problems, it will help you respond to life more resourcefully.

 

Good luck.

 

vfunkera

[brando]

vfunkera..

 

great post. I think you got to the core of it. And i realized not many people want to be alone with themselves probably because they don't like themselves, or feel it is a waste of time.