Boring

[iceman85]

Why do people view someone who has their * * * * together as boring? My ex told me I was boring and other people joke about it to me. I dont think im a boring person at all. Just because I dont have the need to go out and drink every night possible doesnt make me a boring person. I love sports just like any other guy, i'm very creative and talented in writing. I enjoy good music and good movies, television. I can talk about a whole range of things, my music tastes arent exactly the popular ones as I prefer older music (classic rock) and not rap like everyone else.

 

Does someone just look boring? I dress well and have gotten a nice haircut, I just dont seem to understand why people would see me as boring.

 

I can understand why my ex might because we used to spend nights in and apparantley that bothered her, but its not like I had all the money in the world and she didnt understand that.

[Caterina]

You can't find validation for what you are or aren't in other people. You are what you think you are, and thats it.

[TheRock]

It is good that you feel like you have your life together and that you don't need to go out and drink and party to feel content. Also, you seem very comfortable in your interests and hobbies. You are way ahead of the game because of that. Just because other people have different interests, it does not mean you are boring. In fact, it seems like you have a number of great qualities already. Good luck.

[Rain__man]

I see the same thing a lot Ice... correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't most of the people you're talking about (possibly the ex as well) pretty irresponsible, maybe have a job, but no career in sight, and have never worked more than 45hrs a week in their lives? Screw 'em, they're "casual" friends at best, and until (if) they actually get their a$$es motivated to be something besides mediocre, they will never quite look at you as an equal... the joke's on them, not you.

[Jennster]

If your description of life is boring than I guess me and my BF are boring too - nevermind that we take vacations all the time and find time to explore our individual hobbies. I think people who say that our type of people are boring are just being jealous. People like us know how to focus and get things done. I think if you look back to your childhood you can see it from there. I was always top of the class and popular among everyone. I got my stuff done but I always made time to have fun. I had my party year - in fact it wasn't even a year - it was like a party season - after that long I was done. I don't feel the need to drink anymore or go to clubs. People say that at my age I should be goin out all the time - I don't see a need. I'm working on my career goals as well as developing my relationship which I see will lead to marriage someday and I'm planning for that as well.

 

Those who say we're boring just need to learn to prioritize their own life - and by the time they do that they'll realize how much time they wasted "partying"

[heloladies21]

It's not your interests or the characteristics that you've listed that make you boring, it's the way you communicate. Like for example, when you're talking to a girl, are you able to tease her? Get her laughing? Or when you're talking to a guy, even if you have common interests with him, are you able to make a connection with him?

 

A lot of people's interest in you will come from your ability to make them laugh/feel good feelings. Work on your sense of humor a bit. Plenty of material out there to help you.

[Jennster]

^^^That's a good point too - having an ethusiasm for life is what makes someone not boring You can sit on your butt all day and do nothing but still not be boring I suppose.

[matt77uk]

maybe your friends say these things in jest as a way to get you to go out with them more, i know ive done that sort of thing in the past and had it dont to me when i was trying to save cash... i drink a lot and smoke dope, personally i dont regard people who dont do these things as boring but rather just people with different taste....

 

in the eyes of some girls i know that only have fun by snorting upwards of $500 of coke and having sex with people they dont know and then being unable to remember what really happened im a very very boring person.....

 

ignore the judgments of others on this matter, be happy you dont need to make a mess of your life to have fun im sure you have the last laugth when you check your bank balance....

[iceman85]

I agree with all of you but I guess it was good to see perspective from other people. Maybe its just that my ex said I was boring that really got me upset, and that I hear it from others when I know i'm not.

 

And yeah I can get people laughing, poke fun at them, and make connections thats never really a problem, people say I'm one of the easy people to talk to, and people usually have a great time around me.

 

I dont know if its because my ex thought of us as boring because we didnt go out every night and do something or because I feel like people dont see me as that guy that everyone loves to be with all the time, that exciting and dynamic person who everyone thinks is the greatest. I dont know but to me I just really never understood it.

[CluelessGuy321]

It's probably the crowd.

 

Some people I know can watch Fox News and/or NPR and babble on about Politics all day. Listen to classical music and go wine tasting.

 

Other guys like to go clubbing and drinking. And dance like idiots.

 

And there are those who like to sit around and play games or do something geeky.

 

It's all in the group u hang out with

[heloladies21]

I dont know if its because my ex thought of us as boring because we didnt go out every night and do something or because I feel like people dont see me as that guy that everyone loves to be with all the time, that exciting and dynamic person who everyone thinks is the greatest. I dont know but to me I just really never understood it.

 

Oh see now this is something different. When she said she thought you were boring, she really meant that she was emotionally bored with the relationship. Like she didn't feel enough of the emotional ups and downs that keep the relationship interesting, so that's why she decided to end it. It's a tough situation for most of us guys because we like smooth sailing too much and you need the tension or emotional roller coaster to keep girls interested.

 

There also might have been a part of her that thought you didn't really care about her and this could be for a variety of reasons. I have a feeling by the way you describe yourself that it has something to do with the fact that you are not so good at showing your emotions (and that means the bad as well as the good ones). If you would say that you don't show your jealousy to your gf's or don't lay down the law when necessary, this could be what ultimately doomed you.

[Jennster]

^^^ I'll agree with that statement too! Why else do soap operas exist? Us girls that have no drama in our relationships have to get drama from somehwere in order not to start it within the relationship. So guys make fun all you want of soaps but for some of us it's actually your protection against our drama induced needs.

[shelly7]

Maybe its just that my ex said I was boring that really got me upset,

 

 

Ummm...yeah! Of course that upset you! Since when is what our exes say gospel? I've read your posts iceman, forget this girl! (And i say that with the deepest empathy, I have to forget my ex as well) From your posts alone, I know that you're not boring! You are sensitive, emotional and highly intelligent! You know that right? Please don't forget who you are

[yeawutever]

What matters is that you're being yourself and not listening to what others are telling you. Afterall they aren't the ones controlling your daily routines/functions, you are.

[iceman85]

I'll never lose sight of who I am, nobody is going to knock me around that badly although my ex really broke my heart and has tested me here. I know that all of these problems i'm going through are just a test of my resolve and that I have to remain tough and focused. Some days it feels like thats impossible but I get through them.

 

I've done my best to try and forget about her but its impossible after what we shared and went through, I cant help but remember how much I loved her and still care for her today. I remember everything we went through. Then I look at where she is now and realize that shes not the same anymore, and I cant be with someone who is like she is now. We'll see what happens but i'm hanging tough and just trying to understand why i've been dealt the cards i've been dealt.

 

I'm sort of seeing this new girl but I've got an age difference of 4 years 20-16 to deal with, plus on top of that she has had some real issues in the past with trusting people and having people take advantage of her and she gets spooked about relationships because of that so now i've got that to deal with, plus I work with her and thats not easy.

 

Then on top of that it seems everyone else around me is having bad luck, their relationships are falling apart, its just odd. Then tonight my ex asks me to hang out and see a movie. It just feels like I'm a magnet for extreme drama and I would just like something to go a little better you know.

[Momene]

I've been accused of being boring and most people I know have been at some time in their life. Personally, I DON'T want an emotional rollercoaster as I have more than enough drama as it is.

 

We're all different and maybe some of us are boring to others.

[RayKay]

It's all about perspective. In my opinion when someone is "bored" and finds others boring, it's because they THEMSELVES are finding their own lives lacking. Your ex was probably bored overall with her own life, and viewed it as you or the relationship being boring.

 

One is never bored as long as they have the ability to entertain themselves.

 

I am sure MANY may consider ME boring...I have my routine that I like to have, like to get up early to run, and go to bed early to get my sleep. I like to do things around the home and get my downtime (aka veg out!). I like to travel, but no where exotic....camping & mountain biking trips are more up my alley and I could do without alchohol for months (well, maybe a glass of wine or a cold beer now and then!). I like to learn, and think, and know tons of rather useless knowledge, and I enjoy spending time with the people I care about but you would rarely find me at a bar or in a huge crowd of people. I have a stable relationship, and do not need a rollercoaster ride within that - life has enough of that as is and prefer to feel comfortable and 'safe' in my love life! Love can run very deep, without the presense of drama.

 

But, I am happy, I don't FEEL bored myself and I enjoy my life because I have figured out my balance and my priorities. What others think, well, that's something THEY have to live with. I don't care.