Chemistry!!!

[Cute Band Rat]

How soon did you KNOW you had chemistry with someone??

Was it instant or was it over a period of time?

Were you ever able to be with them and if so....was it as good physically as you imagined or were you disappointed? Are you still together or did the passion fizzle?

[kellbell]

Hi there CBR,

 

Good question...

 

Usually I know right when I meet the person. I get that rush and the butterflies in my tummy. IMO, that reaction happens right away when you meet someone. That kind of chemistry does not eventually come over time, if it is there, it is there, if not, I feel it will never come. I also believe, when the chemistry is initially there, it can get stronger as time goes on.

 

My current boyfriend for example (LDR by the way), when I met him the first time at the airport, instant attraction (mutual). We have been dating for 5 months and everytime we see each other, it gets stronger. The more we get to know each other and spend quality time together, the stronger that attraction gets. So, in this instance, no it is not fizzling, quite the contrary actually.

 

Now, I dated a guy whom I no attraction for whatsoever. I dated him for 4 years and we lived together. He was not my type as far as looks and demenor goes but I thought I was being shallow and should give him a chance. I niavely thought that chemistry would come eventually when I get to know him. It never came, I was never attracted.

 

I believe chemistry in the very beginnng is important. I do believe it can fizzle out but that is risk we take when we fall in love and devote our time to a person. I suppose the best defense for that is to keep the lines of communication open, respect one another, and spend quality time together as well.

[itsallgrand]

I know right away. And the test is time and truly getting to know the person.

 

At this point in time, I feel I can distinguish between pure sexual attraction and chemistry. Chemistry is more than lust. It's mojo: it's there on off-days, it's there when the person is lying on the couch sick.

 

I haven't been with everyone I've felt chemistry with. A few have slipped away. And the strong chemistry is a fairly precious thing: doesn't come all that frequently.

 

One that I felt instant chemistry with I was lucky enough to have with me for several years. The chemistry never faded, it grew stronger and took on all sorts of shades.

 

Same goes with the person I am with now. We've gone through a lot of trying times too. Times where it was questionable if we were even liking each other for a bit. Yet the chemistry was still there. Odd, it is.

 

I wonder what 10, 20 yrs into a situation would be like. Anyone who has been with someone that long I would like to hear!

 

Yes, it was as good physically as I hoped. No disappointment there. lol.

 

Remember: chemistry is not just sexual attraction! It's an elixir of ...je ne sais quoi.

[yeawutever]

Having chemistry with someone does take time, it's not as instantly as having a crush on that person.

[Lily04]

I completely agree with Kellbell.. that was the same experience for me.

[Jjasonn28]

I wouldnt go as far as to say that it is instant. In my situation anyway, when I first meet someone, I have my guard up. That being said, If for example, I am having coffee to get to know someone, I can usually tell afterwards wether or not there is chemistry enough to want to continue to get to know them.

 

But what exactly can chemistry be defined as? I guess I would say that it is a combination of intellectual and phsyical attraction. More importantly though, everything will feel comfortable - easily.

 

So in short ..... if after getting to know someone for the first time you have to struggle to determine if there is chemistry, I would say there isn't. If its there, you will know.

[Dating Coach]

How soon did you KNOW you had chemistry with someone??

Was it instant or was it over a period of time?

Were you ever able to be with them and if so....was it as good physically as you imagined or were you disappointed? Are you still together or did the passion fizzle?

 

It varies. There is no set time. You feel it when you feel it. If you don't feel it then don't waste your time with that person, and if you do feel it then don't waste time by not pursuing it.

[RayKay]

For me, it's always been something I have known right off bat. That did not mean we always started dating right away or even at all, but I just felt a gut reaction right away that this was good, and we clicked.

 

It is something deeper than the physical, most definitely, because it really is about how you just "fit" together as people.

 

I had that chemistry with my bf the minute I met him, and it's still there. We have had our rough times too, and it is not ALWAYS perfect, but we always do have that "je ne sais quoi" along with that friendship, love and trust...it's just something there that makes the effort all very welcome as part of it. Bottom line, it just feels right.

 

Chemistry does not mean that the relationship will last, because you still need to nourish the relationship, and you still need two people whom are equally committed to it. Even chemistry does not guarantee that! But, I would say it's a very important part of a truly healthy relationship. Without that "click" together, I really think you are more suited as "friends" than relationship material, just from personal experience and perspective.

[Lily04]

Raykay,

 

Just curious -- how do you know if you have romantic chemistry with someone ONLINE (i.e. when trying online dating?)

[Lily04]

Also, I think the answer to this question is it depends... for some there may be a type of chemistry, as you have a good fit together, but it may start out as friendship & evolve into a romantic relationship... usually I do feel some type of chemistry w/someone instantly though, whether that's physical, or something deeper... with some people it is instantaneous romantic chemistry for some, it takes longer. Could depend on the 2 people involved. Bottom line is... you know it when it happens.

[orangecounty]

Having chemistry with someone does take time, it's not as instantly as having a crush on that person.

 

I have to agree. In some cases it works great when it happens right of the bat but I've seen so many situations where it took time to build. The guy my sister is currently seeing, she didn't have much interest in him when they first met. But over time they became friends and one thing led to another and now she's completely and utterly crazy about him. I would shoot someone down just because you don't hit it off immediately.

[RayKay]

Raykay,

 

Just curious -- how do you know if you have romantic chemistry with someone ONLINE (i.e. when trying online dating?)

 

I didn't truly, that's why I met them offline

 

I mean, you could kinda click with someone and be INTERESTED in meeting them...but you would not know true chemistry until you met in person in my opinion.