Getting to the greener grass...

[Agrajag]

After a few weeks of careful consideration, I've come to the decision that my girlfriend and I just aren't going to work. I'm in a position where I can't do anything fun or intense on my weekends because she's dealing with chronic headaches. Of course, it's not her fault – but we're stuck just "hanging' out" for the day. Now if I want to go kayaking or something I go with my 'rents or by myself.

 

Everything ELSE is going just, though.

[robowarrior]

I disagree, if she suffers from chronic headackes you should stick and support her. You can't leave every girl just because they become sick ,you aren't married but for better and for worse sticking together would display a more honourable form of loyalty. Which you might think is rubbish, but what im saying here is that you will never have a feesable relationship if you leave for every struggle you encounter, situations won't always be perfect, you can get sick too, how about it if all your friends drop you like a brick once they discover you got aids or something? Not enjoyable i can tell you that much.

[Goldfish6888]

Why don't you just suggest a little time apart rather than a full break? Sounds like you are tired and a little down in yourself or drained? You might need to refuel your batteries. Take a little "you time" methinks. Don't do anything rash.....tho.....

 

Why not suggest she go to acupuncture for her headaches. I know some people who suffer from migraines and they literally can't move. And no, it is not her fault, but if it's effecting her social life (and relationship with you), she really needs to do something about it.

 

Enjoy your weekend!

[Süsser Tod]

After a few weeks of careful consideration, I've come to the decision that my girlfriend and I just aren't going to work. I'm in a position where I can't do anything fun or intense on my weekends because she's dealing with chronic headaches. Of course, it's not her fault – but we're stuck just "hanging' out" for the day. Now if I want to go kayaking or something I go with my 'rents or by myself.

 

 

 

Everything ELSE is going just, though.

 

 

 

WOW!

 

Please, dump her ASAP, she deserves better than you.

[Abcd2girl]

Definitely break it off with her, but tell her it is because you are not able to be a supportive person. If you really care about someone, you don't just leave because they have a health problem. You HELP them!

[HangingInThere]

WOW!

 

Please, dump her ASAP, she deserves better than you.

lol...like really!

 

[Belle]

WOW!

 

Please, dump her ASAP, she deserves better than you.

 

he he. Tell us how you really feel.

[Süsser Tod]

he he. Tell us how you really feel.

 

 

I feel extremely offended by the OP, as I suffer from migraine, so I can relate to the OP's girlfriend. If my gf thought like that guy about the migraine, I would show her the door.

[kadvati79]

I feel extremely offended by the OP' date=' as I suffer from migraine, so I can relate to the OP's girlfriend. If my gf thought like that guy about the migraine, I would show her the door.[/quote']

IMHO, these boards serve as much a place to vent as they do for advice.

 

Having dealt with people I barely knew being sick, dying, or chronically ill in the past - I can barely imagine what it is like to have it happen to someone I was in love with. I suspect the OP is not as angry at his girlfriend as he is at the situation. As loathsome as we might think it is, being in this situation would NOT be fun and you can bet this guy needs some time out. Just because this girl is sick doesn't mean the OP's happiness is unimportant.

 

My advice would be for the OP to talk to some friends, make arrangements to have some time out on the weekends, hit the slopes, go kayaking etc... Then let your GF know that you need a bit of time out, and that it would help him be there for her better in the future.

 

I think the OP is just being honest, being around someone who is sick all the time is not fun. It takes its toll. Its hard to find anything to blame except the person sometimes and it can make you feel very guilty inside.

 

Staying with someone out of "sympathy" is NOT something that is advocated anywhere else on these boards, so the only way I can rationalise it being advocated here is out of some politically correct misadventure. Regardless of whether his feelings are "morally acceptable" or not - they are his feelings. If he doesn't take some action to make this relationship enjoyable... then the relationship is over

[Agrajag]

I disagree, if she suffers from chronic headackes you should stick and support her. You can't leave every girl just because they become sick ,you aren't married but for better and for worse sticking together would display a more honourable form of loyalty. Which you might think is rubbish, but what im saying here is that you will never have a feesable relationship if you leave for every struggle you encounter, situations won't always be perfect, you can get sick too, how about it if all your friends drop you like a brick once they discover you got aids or something? Not enjoyable i can tell you that much.

 

Yeah but I'm not dumping this girl because she has chronic headaches - I'm dumping her because, in addition to the fact I try to find more time away from here than with her, she's grown apart from me and now things as unfortunate as a migrane are taking me down for the count aswell.

 

Don't get me wrong, I can be totally supportive - but there's a line where I realize this isn't the first "bump" in the road of our relationship.

 

If I was still IN to her then yeah it would be a no-brainer...but I guess you still gotta love em' first.

 

WOW!

 

Please, dump her ASAP, she deserves better than you.

 

Hey buddy why don't you get the whole story before you start jumping to conclusions - I'm here for something constructive, not insults.

 

Why don't you just suggest a little time apart rather than a full break? Sounds like you are tired and a little down in yourself or drained? You might need to refuel your batteries. Take a little "you time" methinks. Don't do anything rash.....tho.....

 

Why not suggest she go to acupuncture for her headaches. I know some people who suffer from migraines and they literally can't move. And no, it is not her fault, but if it's effecting her social life (and relationship with you), she really needs to do something about it.

 

Enjoy your weekend!

i've been trying everyghing I can think of for the last 5 months to assist her headaches but nothing is working. We can't even enjoy a ride togehter on our bikes without either constant complaining or stopping all the time to try an ease her head.

 

I know she's had professional attention by doctor's but they never could find the problem.

 

My weekends consist of "hanging out" since we can't go anywhere.

 

A little down-time may be just what I need after all. Though I don't really think I can bring that "spark" back into our relationship - I just don't feel it anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does everyone follow?

[Süsser Tod]

Is the migraine just an excuse or the icing on the cake?

 

If you are going to break up with her, tell her the real reason, don't use excuses, specially the migraine as there is nothing she can do about it. Be honest, and most important, give her a real reason, an aspect of her that she can improve for her future relationships, don't let her permanently down because of an illness.