How much do guys care about a girls body?

[ahs483]

Hey guys - Im a pretty girl with a pretty good body. Im not skinny like a supermodel, but Im fairly toned and deftintly not overweight (I workout and watch what I eat). I do however defintly have a butt and boobs. (again, its not like its fat, but its deft. there).

I also have a nice personality. However, it seems as if guys dont like me or are not attracted to me. I constantly have friends and other girls coming up to me and telling me how gorgeous I am and how they would kill for my body.

 

The only thing I can come up with as to why guys dont like me is because they do not like my body..... I assume this because all the guys i usually find attractive are with girls that I think are smaller than me.

 

So, my question is: GUYS; what kind of body do you like a girl to have? And would you date a girl with a body as I described??

 

I hope this all makes sense, thanks!

[RayKay]

I would suggest that men of all various shapes, sizes and personalities find they are attracted to women of all various shapes and sizes. There are many men whom go for large women, for petite women, for ultra thin women, for curvy women, for athletic women, for softer women, for tall women and short women.

 

I would also suggest that most people don't base whom they date on body alone. Sounds like you are healthy and fit, and I would say that maybe there is something else that is holding you back from seeming "open to being approached".

 

People have preferences as to what they are attracted to, but they are not the sole determinants. Sometimes when we blame a lack of attention on things like being too intimidating, too ugly, too nice, too smart, too big, too pretty, whatever....it is just a way to not look at maybe the other issues that are holding us back in meeting people.

[Slacker]

Theres a lot to be said on this subject, your body language could be "unwelcoming" or you could be intimidatingly beautiful........

[Süsser Tod]

You could be coming as too self confident, that also scares guys.

 

See, most of us are scared to aproach a female, because we fear rejection. So if most of us are scared to approach a female, make that female too self confident and she won't get hit.

[Amannamederic]

intimidatingly beautiful is a big one, i've dated a few of those girls...they all turned out horribly...and i mean absolutely horribly...so now whenever im being hit on or looked at by a girl who could have her pick of any man on earth i use it as a confidence booster and move on.

 

It may sound weird but its ingrained in my head that stunning women would want nothing to do with relationships or anything like that because there is so much out there for them to experiment with.

 

If i want to date an incredibly beautiful girl i tend to look for one like me. When i was younger i was tall with lanky limbs and a big fat torso, i was pale with a blonde curly afro (like the kid in bad santa) i had a huge space on the front 2 teeth of a huge overbite...i was not an attractive person. I stayed that way for years, never really getting dates or whatever and then all of a sudden puberty hit me, i grew tall, i got dark, the space in my teeth is gone...as is the overbite, my eyes turned a bright bright blue and my hair turned dark and went straight. I get 2-3 random messages on myspace a day telling me how hot i am but because i spent so many years as the ugly fat kid thats what is ingrained in my head, if i can find a girl like me i'd be pretty happy lol. As messed up as that sounds.

 

you just might have to show more of a personality around people, be overly nice and caring, dance with an ugly guy or two, see if that doesn't help you.

[LostInMyThoughts]

However, it seems as if guys dont like me or are not attracted to me.

 

Why do you think that guys don't like you or aren't attracted to you?

[ahs483]

because guys never come talk to me or seem interested in me.

[LostInMyThoughts]

because guys never come talk to me or seem interested in me.

 

Don't read too much into whether guys come to talk to you or not.

 

Many guys are scared to go up and talk to an attractive girl.

 

Or some guys are looking for a "quick" score and will find the girl who looks like they lack self confidence.

 

Being attractive starts from inside yourself. Having a body that guy's like is meaningless if you don't find yourself attractive.

 

Where do you go to expect guys to come and talk to you?

[Markers]

it's all about how you carry yourself. Learn to carry your body and you never have to worry this kind of stuff again.

[shadowcat]

id prefer a nice skinny girl, not that skinny either

[McSushi]

Theres a lot to be said on this subject, your body language could be "unwelcoming" or you could be intimidatingly beautiful........

 

I would also suggest that most people don't base whom they date on body alone. Sounds like you are healthy and fit, and I would say that maybe there is something else that is holding you back from seeming "open to being approached".

 

I agree with these two posts. A large part of a person's "attraction" has a lot to do with their personality and body language than their physical appearance (believe it or not). Maybe your sending off a wrong signal without realizing it? Are you shy and quiet? Sometimes I tend to be quiet and people misread this as me being in a bad mood which is not the case at all. Try making more eye contact with people and smile more often (this has helped me I noticed).

Also, if your good-looking and KNOW IT, this can be sending off a wrong signal to people too. They might misjudge you as being conceited and unfriendly (not saying that you are, I'm sure your a nice gal).

Try these techniques, smiling, being more approachable, etc. and let us know if you notice a difference with these guys.

[TheRedQueen]

I live in Los Angeles, and a few of my best friends live in New York, and there is most definitely a trend in metropolitan cities, where THIN IS SOOOO IN. This makes absolute sense considering that every woman portrayed in the media minus a handful, are anorexically thin. Here in Los Angeles a girl could have a busted face and a vacant personality but just as long as you can see here clavicle bones jutting out, she's considered hot meats. Which P.S. is incredibly strange in an evolutionary sense because these girls become temporarily infertile due to their resulting loss of period from having an insufficient percentage of body fat. Yayyy for all the diet cokeheads!!!

[picsite]

a short and simple answer...it depends on the guy

[jurupa]

I live in Los Angeles, and a few of my best friends live in New York, and there is most definitely a trend in metropolitan cities, where THIN IS SOOOO IN. This makes absolute sense considering that every woman portrayed in the media minus a handful, are anorexically thin. Here in Los Angeles a girl could have a busted face and a vacant personality but just as long as you can see here clavicle bones jutting out, she's considered hot meats. Which P.S. is incredibly strange in an evolutionary sense because these girls become temporarily infertile due to their resulting loss of period from having an insufficient percentage of body fat. Yayyy for all the diet cokeheads!!!

Living in the L.A suburbs I have to agree with you. This is part of the reason why I stay away from such girls. I also stay away from them because they usually want a guy for his money so it becomes a trade off. If the guy wants the "hot" girl he must "pay" for it. So instead I go for the "other" girl that is not skinny to the point of breaking and has some fat on her, just like what ahs483 describe her self as.

 

 

ahs483 - I highly doubt that it is your body becuase from what you post I would ask you out if you where interested. Quiet frankly I think becuase of your body langauge and attitdute that you display you are turninng guys away. Guys tend to not want to date nor even flirt with girls that desiplay negativity, is is unattractive peroid. Also another reason why you get no attention from guys is it may be the clothes you wear. I know you said that you have some fat on you, but you also have boobs and a butt. I know I am about to go into dangerous land here so I am going to step carefully.

 

Most girls do not wear cloths that fit them at all. They either wear cloths that are to big, don't fit their body, or to tight. I bet if you wear cloths that covers up your fat without it being displayed to much (ie its not hanging over your pants) while showing that you have assets that guys love at the time while not showing off to much, but just enough to make a guy look, I bet you will see guys looking at you and wanting your attention non stop.

 

Take me for example, I know I am a guy but I think my suitation will help. When I finished high school I use to wear t-shirts one size to big for me, mostly becuase I was use to getting that size and never thought anything off it. When I enter college I notice that limited success flirting with girls becuase of the t-shirts I was wearing where not making me physcial attractive. When I went down a size to a t-shirt that was more fitting to my body, I saw girls checking me out and I had an easier time getting attention from girls. The t-shirts that I wear are fitting on the top and are loose fitting as they go down my body. Another thing I also notice that if I diplayed posivtive body langauge and attitdute and confindence I got more attention from girls. I know I ain't no knock out, and only consider my self average looking (this may be changing due to the things I have seen from girls for the past 8 months at my old job), but the way you display your self matters a lot when it comes to attracting the other sex.

[ahs483]

I really dont think I come off as being "unapproachable". Yes, I am a little on the shy side but I dont think it has THAT much of an effect on guys....

 

jurupa: I dress EXTREMELY well. I am a very fashionable person (people always compliment me on how great my outfits look)....I have very nice clothes (mostly from high end boutiques and nice department stores like saks, neimans, etc...) Trust me, I know how to dress.

 

I may need to explain myself some more - Im in high school, and I dont smoke/drink....but most of the people in my school do. I think this may have something to do with it....guys dont want to date girls that arent "cool" (in other words, they want girls that party and get wasted every weekend).

 

I think the previous paragraph kinda makes me sound like a loser, but im not! I mean I cant like PROVE to you that im not a loser, but whatever....

[miserableme]

I know a lot of the time when guys see an attractive/fashionable girl, they automatically assume she has a boyfriend.

 

It also shouldn't be one-sided. If you see a guy checking you out, then give him a smile or eye contact to let him know you want him to approach you. If you are confident enough, then you could always approach the guy. I would never do that but some guys like it.

 

I tend to get guys approaching because they think I look "friendly" or "fun", That's what they say anyway.

[BlueWolf]

I may need to explain myself some more - Im in high school, and I dont smoke/drink....but most of the people in my school do. I think this may have something to do with it....guys dont want to date girls that arent "cool" (in other words, they want girls that party and get wasted every weekend).

 

Surprisingly, that's not true - at least not with me. I do agree that there is a general notion that people who don't smoke/drink don't know how to have fun, and that's sad in a way.

 

It pretty much has nothing to do with your body - but it is the first thing one might think of when wondering about such an issue about themselves because it's the most obvious thing which meets the eye.

It's all personality.

[charley]

Depends on the guy and his tastes. For many of us there is more to it than just looks.

[OceanEyes]

I'm not a guy, but felt the urge to chime in here a bit with my $0.02.

 

I have a short, but interesting story.

 

A few months ago, I went to an afterhours club to see my favourite DJ spin. I was sitting down, taking a break from dancing, when these four girls came strutting in. Let me tell you - I had NEVER, in my life - seen women this aesthetically pleasing, flawless-looking, and just beautiful. I think my friend and I actually stopped talking just to look at them; the way they carried themselves screamed of confidence, poise, and self-assuredness. To sum it up - they KNEW they were hot, and didn't care who it offended.

 

They were standing next to my friend and I, and it was fairly loud, but we could still hear their conversation - a little bit. We started suspecting something questionable with these gorgeous creatures, so my friend and I put our suspicions to the test - we stood up, walked over to them, and asked them for a light. As soon as we heard their voices, we knew: they were men in drag.

 

Moral of the story? Looks are extremely deceiving at times. You can be whoever you want to be and attract various types of attention.

 

What has worked for me is being myself - I am rarely what the societal norm of "fashionable" is conceived as. I wear sweat pants to the grocery store, and still have my boyfriend telling me that he sees gawkers. Who cares what guys think about you? The LESS you care about that, and focus more on giving them all the old "f-off", and not worrying about it, the more attention you'll get (but you won't notice it as much).

[jurupa]

I really dont think I come off as being "unapproachable". Yes, I am a little on the shy side but I dont think it has THAT much of an effect on guys....

Actually it has very little effect on guys and in some cases it is a good thing as there are guys out there that do not want an exroverted girl friend.

 

jurupa dress EXTREMELY well. I am a very fashionable person (people always compliment me on how great my outfits look)....I have very nice clothes (mostly from high end boutiques and nice department stores like saks, neimans, etc...) Trust me, I know how to dress.

 

I may need to explain myself some more - Im in high school, and I dont smoke/drink....but most of the people in my school do. I think this may have something to do with it....guys dont want to date girls that arent "cool" (in other words, they want girls that party and get wasted every weekend).

 

I think the previous paragraph kinda makes me sound like a loser, but im not! I mean I cant like PROVE to you that im not a loser, but whatever....

I never said that you where one. I am just giving my view and adivse from a different side and trying to show you the other side of the picture becuase most people do not see the other side that well. But when they see it and understand it they see how their own actions and apperance effects the other side.

 

Now that you given me some more info (which proved to be helpfull to a point) it is easier to see where the problem may lie. You said that you dress EXTREMELY well and you wear high end clothes. I don't know where you live, but if you live in a non rich area or not but this creates a couple of problems and may be in fact why no guys are apporaching you. No it is not becuase you drink and smoke. I never did in high school and when I looked back on it I saw how many girls where actually interested in me, but I never did anything about it as I never saw the signs.

 

The thing I am wondering about is do you live in a rich neighborhood and go to a high school with other teens from rich households, becuase this effects what adivise I give you. The high school I went to was basically middle class, but you had teens from rich house holds and ones from poor ones as well. Some of the girls at the high school I went to that came from rich house holds tend to wear your type of clothes (ie the high end stuff). A lot of the guys and I tend to view these girls as high maintance and/or very spoiled and for the most part most guys stayed away from them. You may be having the same suitation and if so, the only way to make it better is to dress down. You may not want to, but in high school wearing such clothes tends to be a bad thing in high school unless you go to a high school with teens that come from rich house holds. I am not trying to say that your spoiled becuase quiet frankly as far as I know you may have a job where you are paid enough money to buy the clothes you want to wear. It is hard to get such job in high school, but it is possible with the right connections tho.

 

But if you do go to a high school that has teens from rich house holds, then it is something else. It can be anything from the type of guys at your school to you not showing any interest in any guy at all (shyness can be viewed in many ways and mostly miss read as shyness). If it is this case then do your best to flirt with guys you are interested in becuase unless you show interest and do as much flirting as you can guys will walk past you for the most part becuase they are reading different things. Also you seemed to miss my point on showing off negativity. I know you said that you are shy, I was shy in high school as well. But I have basically grown out of it. But in high school I usually presented positive body language and other people where drawn to it and like I mention before girls where showing signs of interest becuase I was confident in my self and showing positive body langauge.

[steelwool]

Yeah like alot of people have said, it could be that your body language/facial expressions come off negative. All the time I see women I feel that are very attractive, but because of the above things I'm hesitant to even try to flirt with them. Another thing that gets in the way: shades. I mean wearing dark shades disconnects you from people. Eye-contact is VERY important. I see people wearing shades and you really can't tell what they look like. Give them a baseball cap and they'd be ready to rob a bank.

 

When it comes to the body the only thing I expect is a nice rear-end and tight stomach. Round and firm rear. Tight and flat stomach. Healthy. Without that she doesn't look as feminine to me.