esboogie143 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 The guy that I have been dating for 6 months (NOT B/F) went away again to Florida. He left on Wed. He has never been one to call for I have ALWAYS been the one to initiate that! If you read my last posts you will see that things arent so humky dory! My point of this post is to get some advise....I couldnt believe that he called last night at 7pm to say "hi". I didnt expect him to call so that caught me off guard. Prior to him leaving we got into a big fight cuz the night b4 he left he got drunk and was acting like a complete loser when i spoke to him that night but thats besides the point. Should this be the chance for me to pull away, not to call him at all (tho he soooooo expects me too)??? I hate that hes there for I have been having some weird instincts with that ( and i must say they were expressed to him) in regard to me feeling that there is someone out there that hes not telling me about and of course he says that theres not...but anyway...should I take ten steps back and try to pull HIM in??? What advise can you give me cuz im desperate here Thanks! Link to comment
JJRadical Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Sometimes in life opportunities appear to cut the deadweight from your life when you've been holding on for no good reason...trust your instincts...he senses your pulling away and made a panic call...playing phone games is ok for the first few weeks but no trust or communication after 6 months!?...to quote Rikki Lake, "Drop that zero and find you a hero!" Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 "Drop that zero and find you a hero!" I laughed at that one, have not heard that in AGES! Boogie, I think you have to definitely seize this chance to move on. If after 6 months he is still telling you he is not "ready for a relationship" it just means that in his mind, the pros of being exclusive with you do not outweigh the cons of "losing his freedom" and that to me is a sign he just is not that into you ultimately. You deserve better than that! I would forget about "pulling him in" and just go your own way. Don't you want someone whom says "I don't want to risk losing you to some other guy, will you be MY girlfriend?". If you do, this guy is not it. 6 months of this....and still no change. You are still "casual" and he will not go further with it despite you sleeping together. Whether or not there is someone else, it seems to be he just is not interested enough to take that step. To reference another talk show host "How's that working for ya?". Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 its funny you say that b/c he has told me "I dont want to lose you" BUT not will you be my g/f...its just sooooo sad how life is...he knows that im a good woman but doesnt want me...why does this happen? Thats why Im going to go with my gut instinct!!! BUt the problem is where do I start???I have such a problem with pulling away!!! Link to comment
JJRadical Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Start by pulling away for 1 day...and then 2...and then 3...and before you know it you forget all aobut it...NC means no contact... Link to comment
Beyondthesea Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 ...he knows that im a good woman but doesnt want me...why does this happen? Because there's something wrong with HIM. If you are good to him, get along reasonably well and try, there's no reason he shouldn't want you. He's just not the one for you hon. Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 I totally agree w/u but I just know he will call! Then what? OMG!! im so confused!! And it was discussed that I pick him up from the airport at arrival next week ..... Link to comment
arwen Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Girl, don't you see you will keep feeling low about yourself if you stay with a guy like this? He wants the benefits, not a relationship. He is in fact honest about that, but also seems to keep trying how much of this you accept. Don't pull BACK, pull AWAY and move on. I am not saying he's a bad guy, but he's no good for you. Ilse Link to comment
Tigris Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 I agree it's time to move on if you're not happy. Link to comment
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