KissMe_KillMe Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Okay so i have a couple of problems here.. 1 i am addicted to sex.. if i could get it like 5 times a day io would!!! but anyways, my boyfriend of 6 months now has latly not been wanting sex, if i ask he usually says hes tired or something.. he also just recintly told me he dosent really like sex.. now i find that hard to beilive because at thje beginning of our relationship he wanted it all the time, not to mention he couldnt keep his hands off me. i dont know what i should do but im not willing to break up with him because i love him more than anything.. and breaking up with someone over sex stupid..right? i know hes not cheating on me. is he getting bored with me? ughhh i seriously dont know what to do to get him back into the "cant keep our hands of eachother" days. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Have you try having a serious talk about it with him?? He can be having a very low sex libido, which in that case, a sex therapy would help with out. Link to comment
KissMe_KillMe Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 yea i have tried talking to him he says it not me... he says that he just dosent really like having sex.. but i dont understand that because he used to want it all the time. we used to have it like evryday.. then gradually it went down to 4-5 times a week, then 2-4 times a week..then 2-3 now its down to 1 day a week maybe..just maybe two if im lucky. this is a serious matter with me too. i dont want to upset him but i want him to want me like he used to. ugh... im sad. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Or ask him how you likes to get arouse, maybe he wants a different positions and is tired of the same, usual one. Link to comment
KissMe_KillMe Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 haha.. see im up for anything!!! i bought a viberator and a bullet (if you know what that is, im sure ya do) and he actually got kinda affended and told me " i told you that if you got a viberator i wouldnt have sex with you" but that was a lie because we had sex last night and the day i got the bullet he used it on me.hes so weird. hmmm lets see i like the whole undress infront of him thing. one minute he hates sex the next hes horney as hell. does the whole ignoring thing make men want you more? any ideas for me? i need as many as i can get!!! Link to comment
KissMe_KillMe Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 he gets off when i of course goes down on him. but sometimes when he says he s too tired or not in the mood i say well lets see if i can get you in the mood.. and i start unbuttoning his pants and well you know.. and he gets mad.. and is like you just dont give up do you. Link to comment
sirnext Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I went through the same thing your bf is going through a few years ago when my gf and I started having sex. I wanted it all the time, then gradually, I stopped being interested. There were two reasons for me. One, it started getting mundane... I still enjoyed it, but I didn't get excited for it. Secondly, my gf wanted it ALL THE TIME, and was too pushy about it. She made me feel bad for not wanting it, which just put me off sex even more. I guess my advice is to lay off the pressure for a while. Your bf needs to feel wanted, not needed. Link to comment
KissMe_KillMe Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 start undressing infront of him?.. hmm okay how long exactly do you think i should wait? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Just bc he doesn't want to have sex with you 5 times every day doesn't mean he doesn't find you hot and lovely and care about you. Respect him and find a comprimise. Sometimes a guy really IS thinking of something other than sex. That's good. You don't want a sex addict! BTW; I don't think you are addicted to sex. You are 18 and horny. Also, I think you are equating sex with love and acceptance a little bit. That's my view. Take it or leave it. Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 IMHO, in my past relationship we had sex like bunnies, until... I started losing feelings for her. At the end I felt like Al Bundy (married with children), hating to be with her, and having sex as a chore to keep her happy. Link to comment
chemica Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Respect him and find a comprimise. Sometimes a guy really IS thinking of something other than sex. That's good. You don't want a sex addict! BTW; I don't think you are addicted to sex. You are 18 and horny. Also, I think you are equating sex with love and acceptance a little bit. I agree, I don't think you are a sex addict. Part of the problem might be that the more a women has sex, the higher her sex drive. The more a guy has sex, the lower it goes (both generalizations but still). The fact that you were having sex everyday before might have led to this. Talk to him about it and try to find a compromise. I think it will return in time. Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 IMHO, in my past relationship we had sex like bunnies, until... I started losing feelings for her. At the end I felt like Al Bundy (married with children), hating to be with her, and having sex as a chore to keep her happy. YEP... I think that's what happened in my marriage. I seriously seriously do. And it hurt. WHY be married if you are miserable???? To the poster... You are 18... I am going to make the assumption that your BF is near your age about 18-21 right??? I just find it hard to believe that he would refuse sex.. he's in his SEXUAL prime. Link to comment
KissMe_KillMe Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 yea hes 22 im 18.. so i talked to him and said i think the reaosn why you dont like having sex with me so much is the fact that i come off too strong and he said that im exactly right.. okay so i havent tried anything yet... im gonna keep this up i guess until he comes to me. but im reading some of the posts above saying how you lost intrest... and this makes me really upset. because if thats the case thats horrible. i have done nothing but love and do caring things for him... if he truly feels this way this will devastate me. Link to comment
Dregnought Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Hmm... i'm wondering - Is there anything else wrong with your relationship or is the sex just slacking a bit? Link to comment
KissMe_KillMe Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 well.. honestly. he acts like everythings perfect.. but too me he dosent treat me the smae as he used to. now his life truly basically consists of work.. which i understand its a new high paying graveyard shift job.. but he dosent give me as much affection as he used to or would like. i think hes trying... but sometimes i think its really just pitty kisses and cuddles. i dont know sometimes i bring it up to him and he says that i overanalyze things too much and am way too emotional. but can you help how you feel? i mean you dont cry for no reason right? Link to comment
Dregnought Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Sounds like he's losing his love for you... and replaceing it with money A graveyard can be depressing at times, i wonder if hes showing signs of depression... If he really loved you he would listen and realise there is a problem. Soon your gonna have to start questioning just how much he does love you... if at all. I know you dont want to hear this, for which im sorry. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Sounds like you at all times prioritize sex over his needs and respect for him - when he says no, he means no and you continue to put him on the spot. Please let him meet a woman who cares for him - and I mean the whole package, inside and out, and if sex is such a priority for you then find someone who also prioritizes sex over caring and respect, and then the two of you will be made for each other. In any event, sex toys, whining, nagging and pushing him is only going to make him want it less. Link to comment
KissMe_KillMe Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 Sounds like you at all times prioritize sex over his needs and respect for him - when he says no, he means no and you continue to put him on the spot. Please let him meet a woman who cares for him - and I mean the whole package, inside and out, and if sex is such a priority for you then find someone who also prioritizes sex over caring and respect, and then the two of you will be made for each other. In any event, sex toys, whining, nagging and pushing him is only going to make him want it less. that was the best advice ever!!!! Link to comment
KissMe_KillMe Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 i will not nag or whione or anything like that anymore... u are truly right. Link to comment
Dregnought Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Sounds like you at all times prioritize sex over his needs and respect for him - when he says no, he means no and you continue to put him on the spot. Please let him meet a woman who cares for him - and I mean the whole package, inside and out, and if sex is such a priority for you then find someone who also prioritizes sex over caring and respect, and then the two of you will be made for each other. In any event, sex toys, whining, nagging and pushing him is only going to make him want it less. True - but what is the reason for this lack and sex and ultimatly love? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 The lack of sex is because he doesn't feel loved - he feels objectified. Link to comment
KissMe_KillMe Posted July 1, 2006 Author Share Posted July 1, 2006 so today my boyfriend and i were suppost to go out to eat and he called and invited me instead to go with him and his brother to eugene.. which i was ecstatic to go. anyways the whole day he treated me so different... good different. it was like i fell in love with him all over again. i dont know what happened. but i didnt say anything to him.. or anything. he just kept putting his arm around me saying how he has been away from my lips for too long... joking around im sure but it was really cute... and complimenting me and he actually held my hand at the mall... which is really unusual because he hates that kind of stuff... anyways i was so pleased with him.. i told him that today was wonderful and that im so impressed with how he acted towards me. it was weird. good weird. Link to comment
Dregnought Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Ahh! Thats great! Keep us updated Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Good. Sounds like you fell in love based on how he was giving to you. What about focusing on loving him - that is, being giving to him - which includes respecting his desire to have sex or not. I think it's far easier to feel love based on what someone does for you than to take action and be loving (giving) to another person. Link to comment
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