So I've got this box.......

[pablovblack]

Ok, I bumped into my ex GF of 5 and a half years over the weekend and she totally blanked me, I mean she didn'even t want to acknowledge me or anything, I had hoped that after 1 month of NC that she might be willing to chat or at least say hi, but I guess with it been in a club and alcohol been involved then she would then deffinatley try and not speak to me.

 

Anyway Im getting the picture now and I guess yeah I am coming to terms with the fact that I may never get another chance to kiss her lips etc etc....

 

So I have a box with all her stuff in and I dont want it around me any more I'm going to give it back to her, she lives about 4 minutes walk away from my house and I just need to give her it all back now.

 

But if she doesnt even want to acknowledge me what do you guys think the best way to give her stuff back would be.

 

Drop it off one night?

Call around and leave it on her doorstep (which would be safe)?

Give it to a friend to pass on?

 

I would appreciate it if some one could help me try and close this loose end..What would/did you do...

 

Thanks guys and I wish you all the best.

[renaissancewoman101]

I would just call her when she isnt home and leave her a message that you are going to drop the box off and then drop the box off, or have a friend drop the box off for you on her porch.

[chai714]

Ship it. Depending on the service you use, get a delivery confirmation or tracking number. This way, you won't have to wonder if it got there - you can track it online. End of story.

[JohnnyTable]

What kind of stuff is in the box? Anything extremely valuable? Does she know that you have these things? If not, then just get rid of it.

 

You are not a storage facility and it is not your responsibility to make the move to give her stuff back to her. Since its been a month, I'd say that the stuff really doesn't matter much to her and you can just throw it away. Anything else is a form of contact in which you will be expecting some reponse, whether you want a response or not

[Serendipity1607307077]

I agree with Johnny....

If she wanted her stuff that badly, she would have taken it with her in the first place.

[need2bme]

I agree that shipping it might work. Right now, I would probably walk it, but that would give you another chance to be hurt. Just ship it.

[kadvati79]

I'm going out on a limb here, but it feels to me like there is part of you that wants to use this as an excuse to have some form of "contact" with her. Even if you give the box to a friend to give to her, you still feel like it is making a "statement" to her that you are over her, or similar etc...

 

I would put the box away in the cupboard, or if you can't handle it being around, give it to a friend for safe keeping. I suspect the items aren't that valuable or she would have asked for them - but they may have sentimental value. People seem to adopt a "rip sh*t and bust" policy on here, but for me - memories are memories and one day when I can look back at all this and laugh, it will be great to have those pictures, his shirt etc... too look back on and remember the great times.

[Cute Band Rat]

How about just dropping the box off on her porch when you're sure she isn't home with a quick note just letting her know you wanted to make sure she got her things back.

[JohnnyTable]

Have you seen the beginning of Ace Ventura when he delivers the package? Perhaps that would work

[Belle]

I just left my ex's stuff on his door. No note. I didn't feel like spending time at the post office to mail it.

[pablovblack]

Thanks guys I think all of your ideas are good, the contents are photo's, cards, hair straighteners, bath robe, curlers and bras etc... She came and took some personel stuff from my house and left loads of other things that was scattered around.

I'm not wanting to get hurt and I think honestly I need to move on now, these things where like a little bit of hope that was left but I guess thats crushed now.

 

so I may do it when she is not actually there, just drop it off... But Im too scared to even walk up to her door.....

 

Thanks Again.

[pablovblack]

I think that I really need to get rid of her stuff, I honestly cannot throw/disgard it, But It can't be helping me at all having it lying under my bed like this.

Do you folks think it is a good idea to get rid of it sooner than later, also may it even help me take some of the power back from the dumper, by showing that I'm getting over her??? Sorry I'm just hoping for help.

[kadvati79]

Don't give it back to her, that feels to me like some sort of "statement". It sounds like a bunch of personal effects that has meaning to no-one else than you really. I would box it up, give it to a friend for safe keeping. Unless this was a horrible relationship, one day you will look back and smile. And its nice to have photos to remind you of it when you are 70. But yes, don't have them around.

[pablovblack]

Don't give it back to her, that feels to me like some sort of "statement". It sounds like a bunch of personal effects that has meaning to no-one else than you really. I would box it up, give it to a friend for safe keeping. Unless this was a horrible relationship, one day you will look back and smile. And its nice to have photos to remind you of it when you are 70. But yes, don't have them around.

I know what yoru saying but I just dont think that I want to be looking through them again, In my situation due to the fact that It was mainly my attitude that caused the break up everytime I look at them I will be sad not reminiscent....

 

Ok, but can anyone help me on this.... I made her dad a website for his business a couple of years back and I administer the website and look after it, this is not something I want to do anymore and need to pass ownership over to him, do you think it wise for me to send him a letter including a little note about how due to the circumstances I cannot continue doing it (in a nice way) and also write down the steps in order for him to look after it himself..... Please your ideas anyone.

[Holiday]

I think the note to her father is a fine idea. I also think he would understand.

 

I think that it's fair to give the box back to her by mail with the tracking number. That way she can deal with the emotional contents and process information as this will likely help her with closure as well. I would not send it any other way (no calls, nothing). She sounds like she's cozy with NC so don't go out of your way since she made that her preference to bust down her walls. Send it back and get a tracking number.

 

Send Dad a nice note.