Getting Even with Ex : Opinions please

[notanymore]

 

I m sure you would have heard the following quote

 

"Dont Get Mad Get even"

 

Forgive me if this offends some of you who still miss their Ex s.

 

If your Ex made you suffer and dumped you,don't you think you should get even with them for all the trauma and suffering they ve caused you.Take my case, i loved my ex ( like most of us here ) more than anything else in this world.I had made great sacrifices for her.to be honest , most of the time now , I hate her more than anything else in this world.

 

Here's what she gave me, she cheated on me,made me sad,i lost weight,i was isolated from everyone, sad and whining all the time, so many thoughts i wasted on her, how many times i pleaded with her in public or otherwise while she just moved on.

 

Do you think people like her will get their Karma for what they ve done or should we get even with them for all the days and months and moments we ve lost out on.For happiness being sucked out of our lives.

[kadvati79]

Whats the most hurtful thing an ex did to you?

 

Got over you

 

Whats the most hurtful thing you can do to an ex?

 

Get over them

 

 

[sonjam]

Everybody is responsible for their own happiness. Yes an ex can leave us devastated and bewildered when they leave, but it is their choice to stay or go. We have to move on. The time we spend getting over them and the actions we do, that we later regret, well that is entirely up to us!!

 

I don't believe there is any point in getting even. Everybody will get their dues in the end. Instead of filling your heart with hate and anger, why don't you just let it go and move on with your life, like she obviously did?

[mccarleighp]

i think that icemotoboy is right you need to be the bigger person when you can move on and get on with your life you will find happiness and one day you will see her again she will see how happy you are and want you back so bad that it will hurt just like the way she has hurt you keep your head up

[pablovblack]

Yeah mate,

 

Dont fill yourself with negative vibes, If she cheated on you as you say, then for a start you dont want to be with someone who is like that.

She will potentially do it again down the line and do you really want to be associated with that kind of person full stop.

Your so much better of with out her, let her get on and walk down her destructive path causing pain and confilct while you walk the other way and find that girl who deserves you..

 

You strike me as such a decent guy and you know it too.

 

also yeah she will get her karma down the line it comes to us all, just as I received mine 2 months ago, Except I'm making change right now, Im mending all kinds of bridges at the moment.

[moink75]

My ex cheated as well. I walked away hurt and alone, but I am a better person for not causing any harm to him or anyone else. What goes around comes around. Look, you did not make the choice to leave, but you need to make the choice to move on. You will become a better and stronger version of yourself. On day, should your paths cross, you can walk away with your head held high because you know you did nothing wrong.

[shes2smart]

Any ex is not worth the effort it would take to plot and carry out revenge.

 

Any revenge you, as an individual, could arrange would be small and meaningless compared to the way a person's own actions inevitably come back to bite them in the rear. Some call this Karma or "What comes around goes around"....I've always liked the term "You reap what you sow."

 

And sometimes, if we are very lucky, and it is in line with our own growth and development, we get to witness or hear about their comeuppance when it happens. I somehow ended up with a front row seat when a guy who dumped me got dumped on by life. I didn't ask for it, I didn't look for it, and the circumstances that brought about what happened to him and how I came to observe it were so detailed and intricate, there was no way I could've orchestrated it no matter how hard I tried.

 

That being said, other than the realization that he truly wasn't all that and I was actually lucky he dumped me, witnessing what happened to him wasn't all that exciting/satisfying or even interesting.

 

Your time would be better spent watching paint dry than plotting revenge.

[notanymore]

Thnx a lot ppl .

 

point taken.It was just one of those thoughts in my head .needed to have a second opinion.

 

Anyway I had no intention of doing anything of this sort but maybe the fact that i was hurt so much that it would disgust me that she s dumped me n found someone.

 

I would the last person to do so.I even kept quiet about what she did when she was spreading false stories around college which would make me the one guilty of the breakup, I never challanged these stories and let things remain.

 

sorry for the rant , but i just needed a few more voices to reaffirm wht i believed in.no point wasting my energy over tryin to get even

[Dubzuk]

i definatly think she will get her karma, just move on with ur life, theres no point in wasting any more time over her than u already have.

[eyeswideopen]

Well if Karma does exist, you getting even with her will bring negative karma back around to you.

[coollady1957]

I was lied to , cheated on, and deceived. I broke up with him and was very angry and hurt about what he had done to me. I think we all have that fleeting urge to wish them the same kind of hurt.

 

I believe in the Karma thing so to speak. I feel that "what goes around , comes around", or that " people reap what they sow". So I figure that he would eventually get what was coming to him in some form, during his life.

[brando]

Get over it dude, it is in the past.

[Starfall]

The sweetest revenge will be your happiness and self confidence to move on and not look back. Think of it as "her loss" and when she comes knocking on your door one day... you'll be long over her with someone who deserves your love.

[lonestar_80]

Here's what she gave me, she cheated on me,made me sad,i lost weight,i was isolated from everyone, sad and whining all the time, so many thoughts i wasted on her, how many times i pleaded with her in public or otherwise while she just moved on.

 

That same thing happened to me three years ago.

 

Do you think people like her will get their Karma for what they ve done or should we get even with them for all the days and months and moments we ve lost out on.For happiness being sucked out of our lives

 

Oh honey yes! I have a different point of view. I am a Christian.

The Bible says three important things. 1. People will reap what they sow. 2. Do not take revenge let God be your avenger. 3. God will restore the years that you lost.

 

I have found out that what goes around, does come back around. My ex found that out the hard way...and he came crawling back like a beat up dog. But I did not take him back.

 

Trust me, God can pay back your ex much better than you EVER could! My ex got his pay back.

[Orlander]

Oh I agree wholeheartedly about karma. There's not a doubt in my mind that my ex doesn't have extremely unhappy times and hardships ahead of her.

 

However, I pray each and every night that she is given the happiness she desires for herself and her loved ones. Doing this has given me great peace. I'm not out of the woods yet, but at least now I can look up and view the beautiful sky while I find my way out.

 

 

Orlander

[notanymore]

Thanks a lot fellas

your opinions have really helped me feel much better. not the fact that i want something bad to happen to her but the fact that its not worth wasting any of my time and also the need to focus on myself and my happiness without causing hurt to others.

 

however ,i have a question, heard it from the grapevine that everyone who we know in college knew that our breakup was iminent, and the way she s treated me has led to everyone realise the b**** she is.now this gave me a kind of satisfaction , is it normal or am i in a certain way hoping that she suffers.

is it wrong or right?i kno it sounds confusing, but please help me clear my thoughts

[Belle]

I've seen some devastating things happen to people who lead dishonorable lives. One guy who beat, cheated on and isolated his girlfriend was killed in a car crash. He had taken her car (she bought it since he didn't have a job but he drove it and made her stay at home) for his birthday partying and of course left her at home. He was driving drunk and hit a tree.

 

Another woman left her husband with whom she cheated on her previous husband. She wiped out husband #2 to a tune of about $40k. He'll be repaying for years to come. She is currently shacked up in a trailer with a guy who treats her like trash and they are both meth addicts. Lovely.

 

The overwhelming trend seems to be that those who put more positive energy in the world reap more positive rewards.

 

I'm with ice. The best revenge is to move on and be happy. I can't say that when the exes have come back and saw that I was thriving without them that it didn't make me happy.

[lonestar_80]

however ,i have a question, heard it from the grapevine that everyone who we know in college knew that our breakup was iminent, and the way she s treated me has led to everyone realise the b**** she is.now this gave me a kind of satisfaction , is it normal or am i in a certain way hoping that she suffers.

is it wrong or right?i kno it sounds confusing, but please help me clear my thoughts

 

Your feelings are normal. You just have to not let them get the best of you. When the hate for my ex was getting to be too much for me to handle, I got down on my knees and prayed to God to take this anger out of my heart. I prayed to God to give me peace about this situation. From that moment on I can honestly say that he granted my prayers. From that day on God sent kind people to minister to my heart.

 

Don't waste you time building up hate for your ex. She will get hers! Just heal and be kind to others and keep up the NC.

[Oldboy]

I'm with ice. The best revenge is to move on and be happy. I can't say that when the exes have come back and saw that I was thriving without them that it didn't make me happy.

And I'm with Belle. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

While breaking up just say: "Listen I'm ok with what you're doing. Do what you need to do. I'll find someone else. You be happy. Take care. Bye"

Peck them on the cheek and be off.

But don't forget to notice that stunned and slightly worried look on their face as you leave.

Be nice to people who are being nasty to you. It drives them nuts.

[notanymore]

Once again

Thank you all for your valuable opinions,i have finally decided to move on and forgive my ex, for al the pain she caused me.I dont wish anything bad for her,I just dont want her in my life anymore ,i have my own life to take care of....I guess getting even wasn't that good an idea afterall.

 

may you all have the strength to heal and start your lives on a positive note.

 

cheers

[melrich]

That sounds like a great way to handle things.

[notanymore]

thnx for the appreciation,Its bout time i started interfering with my own life .

[l0stNc0nfuzzLed]

yeah i know you want her to feel pain, to go through what she did to you. but if she's really not worth it a penny, then don't even waste your time with that. let karma do it's job. just forget her and move on with your life.

[hazeleyed]

I believe Karma exists. I have been in an abusive relationship and I have decided to walk away. It is hard because in the cycle of abuse the truth is you go back , get hurt, walk away, go bak...etcetc...But I am going to stop this.

 

However, in order to heal and move on you need to forgive not for her but for yourself. That is the first step towards healing. You need to focus your energy on yourself in trying to heal and become solid again. Once your solid within yourself you wont attract losers again.

Do you Pray? Are you religious?

[notanymore]

Do you Pray? Are you religious?

 

I was an atheist till sometime back, but have a renewed faith in God.Can't say if i ve turned religious, but prayer certainly has more meaing to me than some months ago.

 

it could be because i ve had lots of time to spend with myself