Girlfriend talks too much

[Kenobe]

Is this a common problem? I've been dating a lady for almost 3 years now, and for the most part, things are good, except...

She never shuts up! It's beginning to get on my nerves; I once mentioned that I wish she would stop talking long enough to have a conversation with me. She laughed and kept on talking.

Her day in minute detail. What Sue told Jack about Mary at work. A movie she saw, a dream she had, her ex, her ex-job, her ex-cat, you name it. On and on it goes, oblivious to the fact that we're not having a conversation; I'm just listening to a monologue.

It's a touchy subject; my attempts to address this have met with, "I'm sorry you find me so boring!" or "You're not interested in what I have to say!"

(I am, but in moderation, please!)

 

We've talked about marriage, but I don't know if I can listen to her yakking for the rest of my life. I love good conversation, but this involves a balance between talking and listening. That's just not happening.

 

Has anyone else had to deal with this?

 

[Kevin T]

Dump her.

 

Seriously. You want to listen to that your whole life?

 

You can't change people, so bail while you can if you can't listen to it.

 

EDIT- Supposed to say 'can't.'

[coollady1957]

Yes I have . It was my now EX BF that talked too much. I can understand how it gets on your nerves with your girlfriend doing that. My Ex never ever shut up. He was also one of those that whenever I did get a chance to get a word in edgewise, he would interrupt me constantly.

 

He is NOT a listener whatsoever. Whenever I would try to have my turn to talk , whatever I would say to him would only be halfway or less, listened to by him. His brain was too busy thinking about the next words out of his mouth to even try to listen to my words.

 

I used to ask him to please not talk quite so much. He would speak incessantly about anything and everything that just remotely popped into his head. We could be watching a movie and in the middle of the movie he would think of something to say about,,,, "so and so" from 20 years ago , that ran over the neighbors dog. That is just one of the examples of how he would do with the talking.

 

Mind you, I did not mind talking about life situations,the future, the past, family, work , kids, but it was always a constant flow of words out of this mans mouth. I finally got to a point that I would have to make an excuse to leave the room ( ex: bathroom, get something to eat, fed the cats, do the dishes, etc).

 

He would be talking so much, that he was oblivious to the fact that I would have just said, " I will be right back." I could walk out, come back and he would STILL be talking.

 

I have on occasion become so frustrated with it, that I asked him " Do you ever shut up , ever?" and " Why do you feel the need to talk non stop?" The only answer I got from him was.. "because that is how I was born." Then he would continue with his ramblings about things and people and situations that I knew nothing about.

 

Even if I did try to participate in a conversation with him about those things that popped in his mind, I would get interrupted, so I just stopped trying.

He kept trying to improve upon himself with the incessant talking, but it never worked.

 

We broke up in Jan 2006. However it was NOT due to the constant talking. The break up is a whole different story.

 

Best I can say is that I truly and completely understand what you are going through and I greatly sympathize.

 

GOOD LUCK !!! Coollady1957

[Kenobe]

Thanks. I don't know if my situation is QUITE that bad, but it's an issue. Maybe because I was married for 12 years to a woman who was very quiet and gentle. I miss her! But, that's another post...

[coollady1957]

When I was married I was with my husband for 28 years. He was not quiet, but he was not an incessant non stop talker like my Ex Bf was.

 

It was quite a change for me trying to get used to a non stop talker. I hope you can resolve the talking issue with your GF. It truly does get worse, at least from my experience it did.

[AwdreeHpburn]

My sister is exactly like who you're describing. VERY hard to deal with. She CAN listen, occasionally, but mostly has very little communication skills coupled with ADHD. Seriously.

 

I live with a husband with ADHD and trust me, when he is NOT on his meds, HOLY SCHNIKES. Talk about having a one sided conversation......

 

Yeh, I know all about it.

 

I think you should suggest to her going to see a counselor. She may be ADHD. VERY easily treatable with pretty minor side affects, if any at all.

 

But excessive talking IS a sign of ADHD.

[Angel_a_monkey]

I am lucky, my BF and I have equal conversations BUT I have had friends like this. And it's my experience that they just cannot change easily. I've brought it up or said I would like to talk and then it just goes back to them blah blah blah blah BLAH! Maybe you can suggest a "game" where you have a rubber ball or bean bag and whoever holds it gets to talk for two minutes or a minute and then she can learn to volley. Can you watch or movie or enjoy just being with each other quietly? Ever?

[here2understand2]

Get rid of her, I absolutely hate it in women, I've dated 2 women who just wouldnt shut up no matter what telling me things that I didnt need to know like who said what about whom...I dont think my life/time is worth getting into all of that, they both lasted less than a month..so if I were dating your gf, there's no way I'd have gone 3 years..kudos to you..sorry for being so harsh..but hey if you cant take it now can you take it for the rest of your life if you two do end up getting together? I think you should have a serious conversation and give her a chance (personally I dont think thats gonna change situations) but I think after being with her for 3 years..she deserves one..and then go about it!..just my view on things that I am putting out..good luck!

[monkey1]

I'd suggest going into some couple's thearapy if you want to stay with her.

 

I'd be annoyed, but sometimes people talk too much for a reason, like one poster mentioned ADHD.

[DN]

The English group Chas and Dave wrote a song about that:

 

rabbit x 20

 

you got a beutiful chin,

you got beutiful skin,

you got a beutiful face,

you got taste,

you got beutiful eyes,

you got beutiful thighs,

you got a lot whout a doubt,

but i think bout blowin u out,

 

coz you wont stop talkin,

why dont you give it a rest?,

you got more rabbit than sainsburys,

its time you got it off your chest,

now you is just the kinda girl to break my heart in two,

i knew right off when i first set my eyes on you,

but how was i to know you fed my earholes too?,

with your ecessive talking,

your becoming a pest,

 

rabbit x 20

 

now your a wonderful girl,

you got a wonderful smell,

you got wonderful arms,

you got charm,

you got wonderful hair,

we make a wonderful pair,

now i dont mind avin a chat,

but you have to keep givin it that,

 

no, you wont stop talkin,

why dont you give it a rest?,

you got more rabbit than sainsburys,

its time you got it off your chest,

 

now you are just the kinda girl to break my heart in two,

i knew right off wen i first set my eyes on you,

but how was i to know you fed my earholes too,

with your excessive talkin,

your becoming a pest,

 

rabbit x 8

yup yup rabbit yup yup yup rabbit rabbit bunny jabber yup rabbit bunny yup yup yup rabbit bunny jabber yup yup yup rabbit bunny

 

Note: Rabbit in cockney rhyming slang is 'rabbit and pork = talk.

Sainsbury's is a grocery chain store.

[BONO]

The English group Chas and Dave wrote a song about that:

 

rabbit x 20

 

 

Note: Rabbit in cockney rhyming slang is 'rabbit and pork = talk.

Sainsbury's is a grocery chain store.

 

 

 

Very funny DN !!

 

Scruff