keep it simple stupid.

[teacup]

im becoming a strong believer in the above 3 words. (or is it 4?) i read some of the relationship stories here....this and that...so much drama! so much work! so much mumbo-jumbo-hocus-pocus...i think if things are meant to work out, relationship wise etc.....the simple answers are best. otherwise, usually the two shouldn't be together.

 

so what do u think?

 

discuss.

[Markers]

so.. are you suggesting that if things don't work out easily, you should forget it? You don't get far with that attitude. For all things you want, you must suffer as well. You can't expect a perfect one to show up and keep everything simple.

 

But of course I agree to some extent - if your life is misery with someone, of course you need to stop it.

 

 

PS. What comes to drama, I think you've had it more than an average enotaloner

[teacup]

i don't mean that if things don't work out easily ppl should just give up.

 

but i think the solutions should be simpler. it's hard to find the words to describe what im trying to say....

[vesper]

hi teacup. I agree that simple answers are always best. Sometimes though our hearts aren't always able to give us the simple answers.

[AwdreeHpburn]

teacup - i would agree in theory.

 

Cept we're dealing with actual living people with real lives and feelings.

 

It maybe easy for us to tell someone who posts that their ex keeps telling them to leave her alone to move on, but situations and people's lives are a bit more complicated than just a one line response.

 

But if you feel a simple answer is all that's required, have at it.

 

I think other people are alright thinkin' for themselves and responding what THEY believe is adequate.

 

What do you think?

[itsallgrand]

haha. Simplicity is extremely complex.

 

I prefer the 4 worder "Get some confidence, stupid." (simpsons quote)

[AwdreeHpburn]

K - call me sensitive, but I don't get the "stupid" thing.

 

Are you saying people are stupid so we should keep it simple?? Or are you saying, "Hey Stupid, keep it simple." ???

 

I don't get it.

[coollady1957]

I was thinking and questioning the same thing about the " stupid " part .

[Q10]

I think she just called us "stupid"

 

jk

[teacup]

it's a oft-used figure of speech. also known as KISS.

 

i mean that problems can be very complicated in any relationship. but if two people are really willing to work it out, then often the answer and resolution is much simpler and easier. doesn't mean the answer in itself will be an easy answer......but the process.

 

however, if two ppl are not willing, or if one person is trying to resolve something and the other isn't.......or they just don't see eye to eye...then it makes it tough.

[JonathanJonathan]

yep, those three magical words that change a relationship..."i have gas."

[vesper]

it's a oft-used figure of speech. also known as KISS.

 

 

teacup - what are you referring to??

[Daddy Bear]

here's how i KISS: if two people want to be together or both desire to avoid each other, you have a balance.

 

if the two people in a relationship are both givers or both takers, both clingy or both aloof, you have a balance.

 

mix 'n' match, and chaos ensues.

[diamond]

I know what you're saying Teacup..when I was a kid, I used to look at people who would get all depressed over breakups and say, "Why don't you just get over it? Obviously, if you don't work out, then ya don't work out. No need to fret. No need to cry. Keep it simple, stupid." Yup. That was my mentality, and it changed a whole lot.

 

I think as we get older, the issue of trust comes into play, and thereforeeee, makes everything so complex. Because we're not childlike anymore. We're not as innocent, and we've been hurt, betrayed, taken advantaged of, abused, cheated on, just blantantly mistreated, it makes adult relationships much more complex, much more complicated, and less enjoyable...because we have so much baggage.

 

Even if we want to keep it simple, it's tough, because we've been so tainted by our sorrows.

[bebecole]

i dont think that at all, things arent just oh so simple in relationships especially when there are long distance relationships..

if everything was so easy you would never grow.

i would be worried if people in relationships dont fight or argue..

[Dako]

Other people's problems are simple.

Our own problems aren't.

 

I've seen threads filled with advice to dump someone, get therapy, stop being suicidal, cheer up, get a job, go to school, use a condom, quit worrying, it's not that small. Very tidy answers. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

 

Only problem with those solutions, even with a row of !!!!!!!!!! is they often trivialize the complexity of the problem. Many times if the problem was that simple, there'd be no post.

 

I recall a number of posts by the OP and some replies to them.

Were the simple ones best? Then those people who thoughtfully empathized and tried to understand before attempting to help with long, detailed posts were misguided and ineffective.

 

If my posts about my problems were met with, "Get over it, you'll meet another woman, be happy," I wouldn't be here.

 

Of course, I could've just replied with two words. I disagree.

[Lady Bugg]

I think Diamnd hit the nail on the head....I completely agree.

 

All due respect Teacup....but if you think it should be kept 'simple' when trying to address certain relationship issues...you've been reading TOO many Harlequin Romances. Great for fantasylife...which is PROBABLY why they are SO popular..they are a GREAT distraction to real life.

 

What woman doesn't want to meet a GORGEOUS guy, do the "boy meets girl, boy loses girl, guy wrestles alligators and dragons to get the girl back, girl swoons over him, and they ride off into the sunset..... In the REAL world, the guy would meet girl, the'd have a fabulous time then the guy OR girl will become a complete idiot, screw things up, then guy or girl will break it off. Guy or girl will try to get the other back... come to Enotalone for advice, cry, beg stalk , harass....etc etc etc...and the guy or girl is NOT usually amused. INstead they call the cops and get a restraining order.....See how messy it can get??

 

If emotions were not involved..OR if we all had the mental capacity of Forrest Gump, then yeah..it's be MUCH simpler....

[Markers]

I think this is the key: there will be no "perfect one" who you would have any problems with, so don't even expect that. However, I think there will be the one with whom you will feel "this works". And when you have found that one, you have reason to go through the bad times and solve the problems with that person, because you know that it does work out, if you just stick to it.

[Budman]

*cringe*

 

Actually I tend to agree with the K.I.S.S. Theory.

 

Keep it simple stupid works well in many cases of dating.

 

In many senses in my opinion it helps it (relationships are different) but in dating it is true.

 

A girls actions make you think she likes you, but her words say don't go any farther.

 

So you stop, and move on.

 

Then she comes on to you, and changes her mind

 

or

 

You stop and move on

 

You meet someone new.

 

 

Tada, K.I.S.S. Approved.

 

Simpliest answer is always the most true. (that's the theory anyway)

 

Why is she doing all of this crap?

 

She's playing games to hurt you?!

 

hmm maybe.

 

Simpliest answer is always the most true.

 

It depends on what speaks louder. Actions mean more than words, but words will always nullify actions.

 

Doesn't make sense huh?

 

Girl is flirty, and she says she's not interested, stop pursuing, she's just a flirt (K.I.S.S Approved)

 

Girl is Flirty, and she says she's not sure, continue with caution, she's been hurt (K.I.S.S. Approved)

 

Its not always the best course of action, but its gonna work out for you most of the time.

 

At least it has for me.

[Dako]

Being on a date is much simpler. You can always walk away.

To solve problems of an unhappy LTR with kids, mental health or other issues, it gets a bit involved.