Am i gay

[friendsforlife]

im a girl im 15 and i love my friend she is a girl too, i think about her all the time, i want to sleep with her. does this mean i am gay? i have never felt this way about a girl before

[mccarleighp]

when u look at other girls what do u think about

[CharLit]

Hey girl,

 

If you are attracted to guys as well or have been in the past, you could be bisexual, but it's also very common for people your age to have a crush on friends of the same sex without actually being gay. Hormones are raging, friendships are very intense, all that carry-on.

 

I had a crush on a female friend when I was 14 or 15, she was so pretty and nice! I would catch myself staring at her all the time and fantasized about her.... nothing ever came of it though, and now I'd say I'm about 90% attracted to men. For me that counts as straight: I wouldn't want a relationship with a woman, but they do have lovely bodies

 

I'd say: don't worry about it too much, see how your feelings develop over time. Either way, be yourself and be proud of it!

 

xx

C

[Managor]

I definitely agree with CharLit on this one. It's likely this will be the only time you'll get feelings for another girl. If you decide you want to tell her how you feel, be very cautious. A lot of people will find something like that very hard to accept and things could turn into a mess for you.

[bebecole]

when i was your age i thought i "liked" my bestfriend like that.. we had a strong friendship and did everything together.. you might be curious about your sexuality but it doesnt nesscessary mean your gay. when i was young my first kiss was a female.. even though we had strong feelings for each other i didnt consider myself gay.. it was because we were young, and bestfriends. i wouldnt worrry about it just do what you thnink is right!

[FoxLocke]

I disagree with the majority of the replies.

 

Maybe it is different with females, as men don't tend to be as "fluid" in our sexuality(speaking from personal experience myself)...

 

When I was a teenager I had a crush on my best friend as well. It was a true and authentic crush. Like the OP I thought about him, fantasized about him, and always wanted to be around him. That is when I knew for certain that I was gay.

 

I think it might be different were you not fantasizing about being sexually involved...As it is that component exists.

 

You may be gay or bisexual(to a certain degree)...I think you should evaluate yourself first. Do you fantasize and long to be with other women, besides this girl? Or are your feelings, emotionally and sexually, more driven to males and this girl just happens to be the exception to the unwritten rule?

 

Anyway, just take your time and go at your own pace. Some people are experimental and more fluid in their sexuality than others. You might be gay and you might not be.

 

Good luck.

[markyd]

I'm going to have to disagree with the above poster. I'm a male, 25 and until 3 years ago predominately gay. I think we can all be fluid with our sexuality. I'm sick and tired of having to hear you're either straight or gay. I'm new to the forums but I have to reply to this young girl of 15. DO NOT LABEL YOURSELF. I always thought I was just gay but i've always found some women very attractive sexually, like some men i've found very attractive and got just got myself all worked up. I started to sleep with women 3 years and now label myself bisexual. Making love to a woman, something I never thought I would enjoy at the age of 18 until 22 until I made love to a beautiful brazilian woman , she turned me all over. It was passionate and intense and the orgasm amazing. so much less complicated than sleeping with a man but certainly not worse or better just lovely. I like men and women equally. I've fallen for both but DO NOT LABEL YOURSELF. Our sexuality is certainly changeable to most people. I've since slept with other women and some experienceshave been more mind blowing than others but I'm not going to deny any longer i'm bisexual. I'm sick of saying i'm either straight or gay to please others. I'm a man and quite frankly any holes a goal. Ok, i'm joking.

 

Take care and enjoy life. Don't get confused ok and learn to love who you love.

[phantomwolff85]

I say to not worry about it at your age. Things will work themselves out. I would just think about my feelings and then you will have your answer. But it won't happen overnight, just be patient.

[Deviant_Kate]

It's not uncommon for best-friendships to be INTENSE. Even in my early twenties, I've had to stand back and ask "Am I really attracted to her, or do we just have an incredibly strong bond that I'm confusing for attraction?"

 

More often than not, if I examine my feelings, I come to the conclusion that I wouldn't actually want to be with the friend. Maybe that's the part you should be looking at. You said you wanted to sleep with her - think about it some more. Try to imagine yourself actually performing sex acts with this girl. If you imagine it in detail and you still want to, then it's probably more than a friendly bond.

 

That doesn't necessarily mean you're "gay." She may end up being the only girl you're ever attracted to. But that doesn't mean it's any less real. Hold off on labeling yourself. Practically nothing I believed about myself at 15 still holds true for me today. One crush doesn't define who you are. Just step back and look things over before you make any life-changing decisions.

 

Adolescence is a difficult road to travel. Good luck!

[FoxLocke]

I'm going to have to disagree with the above poster. I'm a male, 25 and until 3 years ago predominately gay. I think we can all be fluid with our sexuality. I'm sick and tired of having to hear you're either straight or gay.

 

You are misquoting me. I said that "you don't have to label yourself..." and that the majority are fluid in their sexuality, some moreso than others.

 

If you are bisexual(which you just labeled yourself as...ironic because you said you are tired of the labeling) that is great. Nowhere in my post did I say you had to be one or the other. Just evaluate yourself before making a decision. Obviously, this young lady is confused due to intense feelings. She might be gay and she might not be...Simple as that.

 

And some people ARE just gay or straight.

[socks1w]

If u want to sleep with her it could mean ur a lesbian or ur bi.U could also be going through a stage.I went through it.Istill dont know who i have feelings for.Boys or Girls or Both.U will find out soon enough dont listen to anyone who tries to force u to like them.If u like girls like girls.If u like boys like boys.

[WhatGives]

15 is a very common age for someone to be experimental. My friend and I went through this, although we both knew it was experimentation and I had no intense emotional feelings for her- it was purely physical. You should think about whether these feelings are mostly emotional, physical, a matter of comfort, or if it is some combination of the above. It will definitely work itself out, but be very careful in approaching this. Some girls may get very freaked out if you try to make a sudden move.

 

Talking about hypotheticals might help. Maybe watch a movie like "Chasing Amy" and ask her what she thinks. Strike up a conversation just to see what she thinks about girls liking girls/ being bisexual.

 

That might clue you in to whether or not you should ever tell her how you feel.