i've cheated..what to do?

[cater2u]

I have a boyfriend who is from another country. he is nice. we've seen each other already. since it LDR, at first, everything was so fine like we talk on the phone,email each other, send text messages. known him for 3 months and yes, everything was so fast between us but it's ok for me bec. we're both attracted to each other.

 

first 2 months were great! but lately, i feel like i'm the one doing the work. i call, i email and i text most of the time. when i send text messages, it will take him 30 minutes to reply and just answer my question/s. when asking him he's answers are always the same as in nothing new is happening in his life. i think i'm getting bored.

 

i've cheated once and i don't know what to do? i slept with this guy who i was involved before. i won't say we were 'exclusive' before. i already liked this guy before i knew my bf. i haven't seen this guy for half year. when i see him i didn't have any intentions to cheat on my bf. he knows i have a bf. and before i see him, he said 'he likes me'. even before but can't be together bec. of work and he can't settle down. he said he has changed. he is a friend so i went to see him and the 'attraction' is still there. so ended up sleeping with him.

 

what should i do? i feel guilty for doing such a thing like this. i'm having doubt too about my bf sleeping with other girls since he's changed. but don't have any proof yet since i'm so far away from him. anyone had this experience or know a story similar to mine? can you give me advices?

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

I know LDRs are hard and can be trying at times. If you truly feel you are in this more than he is and have your doubts about his loyalty to you, then it would make sense to end it with him. You have already cheated on him and you two have not been together for very long. I would let him know you feel this will not work and part ways. Good luck and take care.

[nicorette]

i agree wtih kellbell. you obviosuly arent "feeling" the relationship, if you would go out and cheat on me. i wouldnt tell him that you cheated on him, but id end it if i were you. theres no point in hurting him, and i dont see any good coming out of you telling him you cheated, considering you dont seem to be very interested in him. itd be a good thing if you broke it off.

[nicorette]

if you would go out and cheat on me.

 

cheat on him* sorry about that.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I agree too.

 

I don't know that I would necessarily confess, I mean, I'm not for hiding pertinent information but I don't think this is pertinent.

 

I would however, break off the relationship explaining to him that it's just not working out for you.

 

Best of luck.

[alyssajones]

LDRs take a lot of work. I have been in 2 myself that each lasted about 4 years. I would say because you have not been together very long, compounded by the fact that you have feelings for, and have slept with someone else already, that you should not string your LD-boyfriend along, and just let him know that it's not going to work out for you. I would spare him the details of sleeping with someone else though. If you did need to reveal anything you could say you are finding you have feelings for someone else, and that this situation (being in an LDR) is not working for you.

[Momene]

I think LDRs bring their own challenges. Although I'm inclined to agree with the other replies, I'd be inclined to ask your self if you think this was a "one off" or you're likely to cheat again.

 

Also at the 3 month mark, is your LDR "exclusive"?

[cater2u]

momene: yes we are exclusive. we've talked about this before.

 

it's my first LDR which is so hard for me. I'm a touchy feely kind of girl. I'm sure if he is here i would have not cheated. i feel so guilty. whenever i'm with him, i don't doubt a thing. i feel so secure, i feel love and care and everything as if we're married.

 

and for the other guy, what should i do? should i tell him that we should only be friends or avoid him too? should i tell him i am so guilty for what i did and stop it?

 

i am really confused. i did the wrong thing and now i regret it.

[kellbell]

"it's my first LDR which is so hard for me. I'm a touchy feely kind of girl."

 

This should not be an excuse to cheat. I am sure you feel guilty but you two are never going to have an open, honest, and geniune relationship by you not telling him this. I would not tell him though, I would end it. It is the third month in your relationship and you have already cheated. Perhaps you in not in a place to handle a LDR at this point. Your current boyfriend deserves with someone whom is going to be true and honest with him. I would seriously break it off with him. By not doing this, you are taking away choices from him, choices in which he rightly deserves to have a say in.

[Momene]

momene: yes we are exclusive. we've talked about this before.

 

it's my first LDR which is so hard for me. I'm a touchy feely kind of girl. I'm sure if he is here i would have not cheated. i feel so guilty. whenever i'm with him, i don't doubt a thing. i feel so secure, i feel love and care and everything as if we're married.

 

and for the other guy, what should i do? should i tell him that we should only be friends or avoid him too? should i tell him i am so guilty for what i did and stop it?

 

i am really confused. i did the wrong thing and now i regret it.

 

Tell the other guy it was a once off and that's it.