Need some help...

[TalkTalk]

I came out to him today. I told him how some of my "friends" didn't take it so well and are teasing me for it. It does bother me, though I know it shouldn't and that I should move on from them and not care, but they've been my friends for five-ish years...

 

Anyway, he was fine with it, and he promised me that he wouldn't make fun of me and even offered to beat up the kids who were! We both got a laugh out of that one.

 

Today were auditions for our school's Fall Play, and we hung out for a few hours while it was going on. He treated me exactly the same as always.

[TalkTalk]

We both made it, so we'll be seeing each other alot more often.

 

We talked on the phone for a while tonight. Mostly about how I've been feeling awful lately. At the one point, he told me he loved me, but I'm pretty sure it was just in the friendly sort of way.

[Tigris]

As time goes on you'll discover if he loves you just as a friend or whether he wants more from the relationship.

 

Enjoy the time you spend together.

[TalkTalk]

It's pretty certain that it's just friendship. On Friday, we went to our school's football game (I just had to get out of my house...I don't feel comfortable showing emotion there). Lately, I've been really depressed, and just had thoughts that I don't belong, that I shouldn't be alive, etc. Not gonna go into that.

 

Anyway, he and I ended up talking for the first half of the game. I ended up getting really upset, and he hugged me for a while.

 

We made sure that we knew we'd both be there for each other, and he told me that if I were ever to need him at some ridiculous hour of the morning, that I should just walk to his house (since he lives pretty close) and wake him up.

 

It had me feeling better. Until...

 

He asked me, "Are you sure that you want to be bi?"

 

As if it's a choice...I didn't really know what to say to that, other than to point out that it's not actually a choice.

 

So, I don't really know what to do now. I'm still going to be his friend (after all that we've said to each other, I couldn't just randomly stop being his friend), and I guess take solace in the fact that, even if it's nothing more, it's still a pretty good friendship.

[Rizby]

He's being explorative, curious. Befriend him, then ask him out on real date...

[TalkTalk]

Do you really think so? That seems basically the opposite of the way it is to me...

[TalkTalk]

As of recently, I'm almost completely out; the only people who don't know are my parents (having told my younger sister about a week ago.) Mostly everybody who matters to me is alright with it, although it has provided for some humorously awkward situations.

 

But I still can't tell if he likes me, or if he's just abnormally nice. He consistently calls me his best friend, hugs me, tells me he loves me, listens when I have a bad day (and I do the same for him), offers to beat the * * * * out of people who aren't nice to me (which I find incredibly funny, but cute at the same time).

 

Does anybody else have any advice at all? I'm stopping just short of ripping my hair out over this...(only because I'm obsessive about my hair)

[TalkTalk]

Oooookay. Today, probably the most confusing thing ever happened. At rehearsal, jokingly, I sat on his lap. It was just gonna be a quick little joke type thing, but he puts his arm around my waist, and so I put my arm around his neck (again, joking) but he didn't do anything...we sat there and talked for a minute or two like that, until I got called out on stage cuz I missed my cue...but argh! How confusing! What do I make of that?!

[Imaginary]

So weird... many wouldn't be comfortable in that situation, but maybe he was able to tell it was a joke and decided to play along. (depends on how obvious you are)

 

But at least now you know he is comfortable around you.

 

Also, you could innocently get on topic and ask if he thinks he could feel something for another guy, a question along those lines. Doesn't necessarily imply anything. But he could be uncomfortable answering those things directly, so it really depends on the aproach you want to take depending on how much you know him.

[TalkTalk]

At first, I was being obvious that I was joking. But for most of the time, I had a serious face, since we were talking about a serious matter (that really isn't important to this situation). He didn't really have an "I'm just joking" kind of face, either, which makes it more confusing, since he had talked about this girl he's trying to get to be his girlfriend (needless to say that hurt a little, but if he's straight/doesn't like me, what right do I have to him?) just the day before. I'd really just like to be able to tell one way or another...does he just think of me as a best friend, which he's told me multiple times? Or what...? I mean, we're both really touchy-feely with each other, and while I'm pretty touchy-feely with other people (just my friends, though, not like...random people), he's not really that much of a touchy-feely kind of person.

[Tigris]

He's confided in you and said there's a girl he likes so why don't you say there's a guy you like but you're not sure if he's straight or not? He might show a bit of jealousy

 

I'm sorry but at the moment I can't think of anything else.

[TalkTalk]

I was thinking about it, and planning on it next time I get to talk to him.

 

And here's where the story takes a strange turn.

 

At the same time as Fall Play, I'm also participating in my theatre school's production of the Rocky Horror Show. (let's not get into my stress levels.)

 

At which, there are two extremely cute guys. And I mean WHOAH. Drop dead gorgeous. Anyway, one's 19, he's gay. The other's 17 and bi.

 

They're both really cute and I just kind of want to, as my friend so delicately put it, "use my hormones," but

 

a. the bi guy is apparently a player (he's made out with my sister, who is basically like a best friend and we talk about everything)

 

b. I'd never have the courage to speak to one of them anyway. The 19-year-old because he plays Frankenfurter and is just so...cute. The 17-year-old because I'm really shy and I don't talk to people well.

 

c. if I end up making out with them or something, I know I'd get attached and then be really torn because of this whole thing with Ben...

 

So...I really don't know what to do.

 

(But thank you so much for your help! I didn't mean to sound ungrateful...)

[Tigris]

I'd still go for Ben first, he sounds safer.

 

If you ever get the chance of going with the 17 year old I advise you to talk to your sister first because you don't want to upset her.

 

What is a 'Frankenfurter'?

[TalkTalk]

If you've never seen the movie/show "Rocky Horror Picture Show," Dr. Frankenfurter is the transvestite alien doctor who brings Rocky to life.

[Imaginary]

If it's about courage it would be a good idea to try to solve your issues with shyness... just a thought.

[TalkTalk]

Hi everyone, thanks for all the help - but I'm in a whole new situation.

 

Ben is a close friend of mine, but nothing more, and I'm fine with that now.

 

So, last weekend, I attended the Pennsylvania High School Thespian Conference. (Thespian means theatre geek, more or less.)

 

While I was there, I met a very attractive, very sweet blonde boy, whom we'll call blonde boy. (you'll have to pardon my insanity, it's late.) Needless to say, I've fallen for him - but he lives 8 hours away on the other side of the state.

 

While at the conference, blonde boy introduced me to another guy - whom we'll call curly-haired kid. Curly-haired kid immediately came on to me, repeatedly, and very strongly, and I'm not interested.

 

Two-pronged question, basically. A) how do I get over blonde boy? B) how do I tell curly-haired kid that I'm not interested without being hurtful?

[kevin_18]

What's wrong with curly haired kid?

[Imaginary]

A) Well, if you don't get to see him much, it could probably fade away on its own, but if for some reason you are constantly seeing him, then you'll have to accept you can't help it and get over it with time, trying to not pay much attention to him, that's what I do at least, and it works for me.

 

B) Just be kind, and try not to. If he is hurt either way, it's something you couldn't control. You can't be expected to fake interest to make him happy. Alternatively, you can just ignore him, he might find that rude, but not neccessarily, but I think being direct would be better.