I think I figured it out!

[Kevin T]

A few things, mostly for the guys:

 

1. Complaining about your problems annoys people. So... stop it. If you want to feel badly about yourself, keep it to yourself, see a shrink, consider other less favourable options, etc. Just stop whining. No one likes a whiner. (And we all know how important it is to be liked by others!)

 

2. Stop expecting a goddess/god in a mate. No one is perfect and no one will meet your expectations. Putting people up on a pedestal is only insuring they come crashing down on top of you later. Don't do that. Instead, take someone who you can get and and be thankful you got him or her. Let's face it, most of us aren't the best looking people in the bunch, so let's stop being so superficial! The heart (inner beauty) is all that matters; especially for those who are seeking a soul mate or whatever.

 

3. If you are lonely, stop being lonely. How? Just stop. Decide for yourself you won't be lonely and that you have a lot to be thankful for and count your blessings. So what if you're alone? Who really cares? If no one else does, why should you lose sleep over it? It's just a waste of time and energy. A romantic relationship is just a big headache anyway and chances are, you'll be more miserable AFTER finding someone than before. (Just seems to work this way, as a rule.)

 

4. As for the romantic guys, or whatever. Stop it. Seriously. If women liked your game, you'd be with them, not by yourself. They don't want a doormat or a whiny, sissy girl who is living in their feelings. They want a take-charge guy who will take action and deal with the situatipns at hand. Not someone who is indecisive and weak-willed. Can you be romantic and both? Possibly, but they don't seem to usually go together. It's more often that the wuss is romantic and the take-charge guy isn't, or if he is, he isn't living with his heart on his sleeve, always moping around like a child. That's not a man, it's a wuss.

 

I think that's it. Thus concludes my final thread (not post, thread. I'll still be around for the next few days or so to reply to stuff) here. Since I'm moving, I'll no longer have access to the net, so I will not be able to stop by anymore. But at least I finally figured this out.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

I do slightly disagree with number 4. People can posess " romantic" like traits without being indecisive or whimpy. Plus I happen to have an achilles heal for sweet down to earth boys.

[tylercdurden2004]

A few things, mostly for the guys:

 

1. Complaining about your problems annoys people. So... stop it. If you want to feel badly about yourself, keep it to yourself, see a shrink, consider other less favourable options, etc. Just stop whining. No one likes a whiner. (And we all know how important it is to be liked by others!)

 

Yes. Complaining and talking about in a rational way are two different things. Doing something about it is a whole other issue.

 

2. Stop expecting a goddess/god in a mate. No one is perfect and no one will meet your expectations. Putting people up on a pedestal is only insuring they come crashing down on top of you later. Don't do that. Instead, take someone who you can get and and be thankful you got him or her. Let's face it, most of us aren't the best looking people in the bunch, so let's stop being so superficial! The heart (inner beauty) is all that matters; especially for those who are seeking a soul mate or whatever.

Well you dont have to settle with just anyone. But why put people on a pedestal especailly since they are JUST HUMAN after all. This is especailly true when you dont even know the person.

 

3. If you are lonely, stop being lonely. How? Just stop. Decide for yourself you won't be lonely and that you have a lot to be thankful for and count your blessings. So what if you're alone? Who really cares? If no one else does, why should you lose sleep over it? It's just a waste of time and energy. A romantic relationship is just a big headache anyway and chances are, you'll be more miserable AFTER finding someone than before. (Just seems to work this way, as a rule.)

Well get out do some stuff, force yourself to associate with others if you have trouble. Its not easy for everyone, but hey we are social animals and we do have societies so why not be an active member.

 

4. As for the romantic guys, or whatever. Stop it. Seriously. If women liked your game, you'd be with them, not by yourself. They don't want a doormat or a whiny, sissy girl who is living in their feelings. They want a take-charge guy who will take action and deal with the situatipns at hand. Not someone who is indecisive and weak-willed. Can you be romantic and both? Possibly, but they don't seem to usually go together. It's more often that the wuss is romantic and the take-charge guy isn't, or if he is, he isn't living with his heart on his sleeve, always moping around like a child. That's not a man, it's a wuss.

 

Well part of its right. Indecisive people tend to irritate others. As for take-charge types of guys not being romantic I cant disagree more. H*** the take charge guy is the one who swoops up his gal for a fun weekend away and doenst ask for her approval. He does it cause he understands what she likes and because he wants to. Not because he wants her approval.

 

 

I think that's it. Thus concludes my final thread (not post, thread. I'll still be around for the next few days or so to reply to stuff) here. Since I'm moving, I'll no longer have access to the net, so I will not be able to stop by anymore. But at least I finally figured this out.

[Kevin T]

I guess I didn't make the distinction totally clear. When I say "romantic" guys, I'm referring to the ones who wear their hearts on a sleeve, expect the world to love them wherever they go and are overly sensitive and overall: a wuss. I've seen a certain pattern in that regard, and I can speak from absolute experience that there does seem to be a correlation between being extremely sensitive, emotional and romantic. Those are the guys I meant; not the dashing act-oriented dude who rushes in and does something incredibly sensual or alluring at the last minute without his woman's permission. They are two very different animals.

[Scout]

I think that's it. Thus concludes my final thread (not post, thread. I'll still be around for the next few days or so to reply to stuff) here. Since I'm moving, I'll no longer have access to the net, so I will not be able to stop by anymore. But at least I finally figured this out.

 

You permanently won't have Internet access anymore? If that's the case, I almost envy you!

[Kevin T]

I'm glad about it, actually. Less time consumed by countless hours of pr0n viewing. That's always a good thing!

[alteer]

I do slightly disagree with number 4. People can posess " romantic" like traits without being indecisive or whimpy. Plus I happen to have an achilles heal for sweet down to earth boys.

 

I also disagree with #4. My ex was no wimp (well maybe at the end he was) and he was totally romantic. So it is possible to be both.

[Kevin T]

Then why aren't you still with him?

[Slacker]

Putting people up on a pedestal is only insuring they come crashing down on top of you

To be quite honest, i enjoy it when my significant other crashes down on top of me.

[tylercdurden2004]

Then why aren't you still with him?

 

Probably for some other reason than romance. It aint the only thing ya know. If it was Don Juan woulda settled down.

[alteer]

Then why aren't you still with him?

 

Well....he dumped me........whaaaaaaah!!!

[luxe_13]

4. As for the romantic guys, or whatever. Stop it. Seriously. If women liked your game, you'd be with them, not by yourself. They don't want a doormat or a whiny, sissy girl who is living in their feelings. They want a take-charge guy who will take action and deal with the situatipns at hand. Not someone who is indecisive and weak-willed. Can you be romantic and both? Possibly, but they don't seem to usually go together. It's more often that the wuss is romantic and the take-charge guy isn't, or if he is, he isn't living with his heart on his sleeve, always moping around like a child. That's not a man, it's a wuss.

 

I also tend to agree that a man can be both a take-charge and a romantic. I think you are confusing romance with "wuss-iness".

I have been out with a few guys who are both. I think it's called "knowing how to treat a lady".

[Budman]

A few things, mostly for the guys:

 

1. Complaining about your problems annoys people. So... stop it. If you want to feel badly about yourself, keep it to yourself, see a shrink, consider other less favourable options, etc. Just stop whining. No one likes a whiner. (And we all know how important it is to be liked by others!)

 

First off, I'm going to tell you right now. One of the funniest things I do is rant. I literally have a room cracking up when I go on a rant, and I am complaining getting stuff off my chest. People eat it up. Look at Dennis Leary all he does is * * * * *...

 

2. Stop expecting a goddess/god in a mate. No one is perfect and no one will meet your expectations. Putting people up on a pedestal is only insuring they come crashing down on top of you later. Don't do that. Instead, take someone who you can get and and be thankful you got him or her. Let's face it, most of us aren't the best looking people in the bunch, so let's stop being so superficial! The heart (inner beauty) is all that matters; especially for those who are seeking a soul mate or whatever.

 

Yes and no, I disagree again. Should you not date someone because they have one toe longer than the big toe? NO, but should you just date someone because, "Hey you can't get any better right?" Nope, wrong. You need self worth. I'm sorry but everyone is attracted to different things. I've seen a woman that I am literally not attracted to that other guys fall head over heels for.

 

3. If you are lonely, stop being lonely. How? Just stop. Decide for yourself you won't be lonely and that you have a lot to be thankful for and count your blessings. So what if you're alone? Who really cares? If no one else does, why should you lose sleep over it? It's just a waste of time and energy. A romantic relationship is just a big headache anyway and chances are, you'll be more miserable AFTER finding someone than before. (Just seems to work this way, as a rule.)

 

Ohh, I agree and disagree again. Honestly, when your single you should focus on you. Your hobbies, your skills, and your interests will keep you occupied and unlonely. Now, these things make you a better catch. Really they do, and when your focus is only finding a woman that is your only goal you get "pedestal placement" they are your reason for living. Honestly, by finding your interests and stuff to do, you will not be clingy why, because you have stuff you want to do when not smooching the woman you like. Also, it makes you much more interesting to talk to. I mean, meet new people, and date online sure but don't, I repeat don't let it be 90% of what you do. 30-40% is fine. Heck, if you put in just meeting new people make that 80%. Personally I made meeting new people a hobby. (Aka saying Hi to random strangers for start).

 

4. As for the romantic guys, or whatever. Stop it. Seriously. If women liked your game, you'd be with them, not by yourself. They don't want a doormat or a whiny, sissy girl who is living in their feelings. They want a take-charge guy who will take action and deal with the situatipns at hand. Not someone who is indecisive and weak-willed. Can you be romantic and both? Possibly, but they don't seem to usually go together. It's more often that the wuss is romantic and the take-charge guy isn't, or if he is, he isn't living with his heart on his sleeve, always moping around like a child. That's not a man, it's a wuss.

 

I completely and utterly disagree. You can be romantic, infact you're supposed to be. I guarentee that my date last night, (uhm, ya I like her a lot come to think of it), thought I was one of the most romantic guys she has ever met. (Ironically she compared me to Don Juan... about touching a woman anyway she went way overboard on the compliment but I'll take it).

I mean we held hands, we walked arm in arm, and held each other. (other parts I'm leaving out)

 

Yes, it was romantic but guess what.

 

I put my arm around her, and joked about finding an excuse to do it.

 

I ME, Took her hand the first time and said maybe I just want to hold your hand I made no excuse I just did it.

 

I looked in her eyes, I was confident in everything I did. I said HI, How are you, and have a wonderful day to every person and petted every dog in that park.

 

Oh no, you know what else I did. I told her I liked her, EEP I also told her we aren't BF/GF yet (she's not much dating experience).

 

During pauses in moments I would turn away and say hi to people as they pass.

 

I was very romantic, and VERY me. Yet she said something that so so so so, killed that comment right there. "You seem super confident, nothing bothers you."

 

I am a romantic, I do give flowers, and I do give compliments. I do tease (at times cause its who I am), I will make fun of myself before I will others (Do I believe it no, (You have to hear what I make fun of, for example, "I'm a 3'6 midget who just went back in time and put everything in scale"). I will look a girl dead in her eyes and tell her she has a set of some of the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen, and right after that I will tell her she has a nice butt. I i give a lot of compliments (If they are true). I prolly said pretty girl, 3 or 4 times in the time we were together. Ya, but you know what I slip them in very rarily do I do it, "You're very pretty", I'll say, "I love walking in the parks with pretty women." I'm a touchy person, I like to be touched and to touch. I love contact, but I definitely don't seem clingy because when I am not touching I am not weird in any sense of the word.

 

DO NOT confuse romance, and other things. Romance is what every woman wants. What you speak of is not true romance. True romance can be done anywhere at any time. In a park with nothing spent at all, at the top floor of the effel tower, or in an alley in NY. It's the person, its the scene, and its all in how you look, and you.

 

Romance is in the kiss as well. The kiss starts off gentle, and stays gentle. You dance with your tongues, and you lick your partners lips. The kiss gets gentle, and hard, gentle and hard. It's all in how you control it. The woman is in for the ride, and you are the driver. I've yet to lose my senses from a woman's touch (alcohol yes) but I've seen women lose themselves from a kiss. Get a smile and a blank look that they're just lost in their feelings, I've seen goosebumps become so apparent that you can see them two feet away. I've seen women lose strength in their knees from just one kiss. Their body turns to mush, and I'm sure its a high better than any drug can bring.

 

Romance can do that and so much more, Romance is bringing surprise and intrigue, mystery and satisfaction. Pleasure and a little pain. Romance is not IS NOT completely painless for either. A true romance brings some hurt feelings or bad happenings. Why do I say this, you will say something or do something they don't like. Guess what, say sorry, and forget about it. They are just like you, or just like your friends. (Ok, well it depends on what you do, I am assuming you are a gentleman here)... Confidence, Confidence, Confidence, ohh and Confidence here. If a woman is acting stupid, TELL HER. Don't put up with it. Use the old 50's and 60's romance movies. They actually got the crap right, Carey Grant, Clark Gabel, Humphrey Bohgart, and others should be your guides!

 

I think that's it. Thus concludes my final thread (not post, thread. I'll still be around for the next few days or so to reply to stuff) here. Since I'm moving, I'll no longer have access to the net, so I will not be able to stop by anymore. But at least I finally figured this out.

 

I've disagreed with the majority of the post, good effort though and god luck!

 

Hope the move goes well!

[BlueWolf]

I'm not sure I agree with #3 regarding you'll be more miserable after a relationship than before...

If you truly love the other person and aren't with them just because of the pressures society puts on things like this, I see no reason why one should be more miserable when with someone.

 

I may be wrong though. I have yet to be in one.

 

Sure some relationships are probably awkward, but if they are true, you'll actually have something to look ahead to.

 

 

 

I have a sneaky suspicion that a few days/months/years after I get into a relationship and get my heart broken, I'd be thinking about this very post I made.

[Kevin T]

Yes and no, I disagree again. Should you not date someone because they have one toe longer than the big toe? NO, but should you just date someone because, "Hey you can't get any better right?" Nope, wrong. You need self worth. I'm sorry but everyone is attracted to different things. I've seen a woman that I am literally not attracted to that other guys fall head over heels for.

 

Dude... I hate to sound awful, but I have to be honest. There are some people in this world who are not the most physically attractive people. I think they should just acquiesce to their genes and accept reality. Ugly guys/girls shouldn't build up false hopes that they can get someone great looking themselves because they are only setting themselves up for a big failure, heartache and disappointment. Trust me, been there, done THAT.

 

I'm just saying people shouldn't shoot for the stars when they can't even fly. Why not take whatever you can and at least be somewhat happy? It's better than walking around bemoaning being single and all its woes.