Do people change or just get bored, and is it worth it?

[confusedmale]

Hey everyone,

 

I have been NC w/ my ex for 4 months now. I recently read an article on MSN, "Should you try again, or just cut your losses?" Now that is what I am trying to figure out b/c my ex had given me mixed signals during our break which was really frustrating. I mean, I know some people want the "space" thing to really figure things out, while others use it to see if the other will prove his/her love for that said person.

 

I am still very much in love with my ex and NC was killing me at first but it does not hurt as much. I have been dating and the problem I am seeing is, is that everyone is different, there are no 2 same girls out there. However, similarities are inevitable b/c we each have our individual taste for the opposite sex. My problem with dating is, I keep seeing similarities in other women and it has started to make me miss my ex again. But, is it worth it trying to make contact? I left it up to her to contact me back in January, but she is a very shy girl and my friends agree, they cant see her making the next move. They know I still care about her and said to go ahead with an email, but to not get upset if I don't get a reply.

 

What I have trouble understanding is, when do you know to "cut your losses"? I truly feel it should be up to her to contact me, but sometimes the breakee can make that move right? She was my first love and always thought she'd be the last and who knows she may be. I know couples who have gone threw this NC and it has helped(some a few weeks, others months and even years), but personally, I don't know how it possibly can happen again if we don't at least stay in touch.

 

What would be your advice members? And if I do end up sending an email, any suggestions on what to say or more importantly, what not to say?

[renaissancewoman101]

I wouldnt advise getting in touch with her right now. You are still suffering a lot from the breakup and the pain is still fresh. If you try to get in touch with her right now and she doesnt respond or if she responds negatively, you are going to feel very bad and it will destroy any healing that you have done until now.

 

Give it some more time. If she was still interested in getting back together with you, she would contact you. Besides, not contacting her will make you seem strong to her and it will give her the space to think about the relationship and whether she wants to come back to you or not.

 

Meanwhile, concentrate on you and your own healing. Continue going out and having fun and meeting new people. Keep in mind that no one will be like your ex again. We are all different people. Keep your mind and emotions open. Make friend, go out, enjoy life, develop some hobbies, hang out with your buddies and have fun.

[Sobo]

I read that thing on msn too, lol and thats what got me onto this forum. This is a good place to share your thoughts.

 

personally, i say no, do not contact her, eventually if it is meant to happen, it will,

[jchan]

Stay on NC my friend. I know how it feels, the whole, space should give us time to heal and think about one another. Truth is, space is designed for you to heal and figure out more about yourself. Sometimes the reality of life is that there are certain steps you must journey alone (physically, not emotionally, you have a lot of support) but it is this journey where you learn more about yourself, and learn to love yourself more.

 

stay strong my friend.

[finsjm]

You say you're the breakee?? I WISH my would would contact me and it's only been 2 days!!! He was the breakee and I feel he should make the first move. He's contacted my friends which was weird, but not me. My advice, follow your gut. Not your heart, your gut. Do you feel uncomfortable calling her? Then don't! Do you really miss her, then do!! It has been a while for you, don't let a good thing pass you by! She may be playing the NC game too!! Good Luck!!