She has a BF!

[gabodi]

Hey,

 

I met this really cool girl about a month and a half ago. We started talking on MSN and I found out she has a BF of three and a half years. I kept talking to her anyway. Her BF is about 8 hours away working, and when he comes back in a month, he'll still be 3 hours away. We started talking A LOT on MSN almost right away, like 2 hours a night, almost every night. Then we started calling each other and talking for an hour to 2 hours a few times a week on the phone. Then we started hanging out. Things like: her coming over to hang out until 1:30 am, playing sports, watching movies, going out for drinks, etc. There's definite vibes when we hang out. Last weekend we saw each other at the bar, and we were with each other all night. She bought me drinks, we danced. Then she freaked out a little and said it wasn't fair to hang out like this. However, after saying that, she ditched her friends, walked home with me (an hour and a half walk) and slept over in my bed (nothing physical happened). This past week we talked for hours every night. When we're not on msn or on the phone, we text message each other a lot. Last night we hung out again and she slept over again (on the couch this time). Again, nothing physical has happened.

 

So I need some advice now. I'm afraid if I pressure her, or ask her to choose, she'll get scared and run away. Maybe it's better to keep going with the flow and let her make up her own mind? She knows I'm interested, because I mention it or joke about it quite a bit.

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

 

Thanks!

[DN]

She's cheating on her boyfriend with you. The only thing that is lacking is physical intimacy.

 

One of two things will happen - either you will get hurt or, should she become your girlfriend, you will never be able to trust her.

[dopexile]

I agree... if you could get her to drop her boyfriend you would never be able to trust her because some guy will just come along and do the same thing. She has to drop her boyfriend genuinely and willingly before you even consider a relationship.

[bobo85]

She's a cheater and stay away from her.

 

First of all she has been with her bf for over 3 years. She is with him and is still going out and spending time with other guys. So even if she does end up leaving him for you, what makes you think she wont do the same to you? She my friend is called a branch swinger. She won't let go of one branch until she has a full grasp of another, and you my friend are the other branch. She's not gonna leave her bf cuz she doesn't have to. She is getting the best of both worlds right now. She has a bf who loves and and is clueless about you two. And she is spending time with you as just a "friend" but she is hoping you will wait for her even though she might not even dump him.

[mysteryman]

I found myself in a situation like that. And I am so glad I didn't date the girl. Trust me it is not worth it, it gives you far too many headaches. So I say stay away or only be friends.

[heloladies21]

If you can keep yourself emotionally detached from the situation because it could blow up at any time, then i would say progress things physically without even addressing the other guy. But if your feelings are too strong then it's best to cut contact because you will just get hurt bad if she decides in her man over you.

[Dating Coach]

She crossed the line by hanging out with you and staying at your house like she has, but this doesn't mean she is romantically interested in you.

 

You should have left the moment you found out she had a boyfriend. It's your fault that you are in this stupid situation and you should walk away from it. C'mon, don't be desperate. There are hundreds, thousands, of women out there, yet you cling to one who is unavailalbe, spend all of your time trying to talk to her, etc. It comes accross as pretty desperate and clingy to me.