Did He Cheat??

[MJMJ]

OK everyone, i need your opinion on this situation:

 

My b/f has gone away--fine--he has been calling making me secure and everything. This one thing happened that i got suspicious of and i'm not sure if this is something i really should question him on or let go. Here goes:

 

My b/f does not get reception in his hotel room with the cell phone--He usually calls from his friends phone to say call the hotel room. At the bars when he is out--he always gets his calls and i see the text messages are sent and delivered right away. When i text him at his hotel--it doesn't show delivered this past week until he was outside and away from the hotel. Last night he went out and i did too. I call him at 2am and we were talking for about 20 minutes and after the convo ended he said talk to you later. I text message him at 4:30 am--the text was sent but not delivered so i figured he was in his room and he was sleeping because the times that i did text him and he was in his hotel or really close to his room, it was never delivered. I wake up in the morning and see the text was delivered at 6:30 am--that is making me think he was at someone else's hotel last night or doing something wrong and then went back to his hotel or something. Doesn't it sound a little suspicious? He always got the texts if he was at a bar because its an open type area--never any problems with reception except noisy people. Also, its not like at 6:30 am he is going to wake up and say i need some fresh air and walk 5 to minutes and then go back..in order to get reception on the phone, you need to walk about 5 minutes away from the hotel. i spoke to him today and he said they left the bar at 3am or so and he woke up at 9 am. But the few times i text messaged him this week and he was in the hotel--it was never delievered until after he left the hotel room and was out. Does this sound weird? I don't know if i should ask him--i thought you couldn't get any text messages or calls at the hotel--why did you get them at 6:30 am and never anytime before during the week(meaning he wasn't where he says he was or he had someone there and walked them out or something--you get my point)I guess it is possible he left his phone in a different area of the room and 2 hours later it was delivered and he was doing exactly what he said he was doing which was sleeping---Please write back on what you think of this and if i should ask him about it.

[RandomAdvisor]

Why can't you trust your BF?

 

There are a zillion different explanations for what happened here, the vast majority of which do not have anything to do with cheating. Your fears didn't seem well founded to me at all, so I took the liberty of checking the threads you have started since you've been on this site - all of them have to do with trusting your BF and suspecting he is cheating.

 

From all that you have posted I see no reason for you to suspect him of anything, but if you are so insecure that you are going to let anything and everything you see be a possible sign of cheating, eventually you are going to convince yourself he is cheating and ruin the relationship.

 

So, I'll ask again - why can't you trust your BF? Has he cheated on you in the past and given you reason to lose trust in him? Have you been hurt in the past by someone else?

[CarnelianButterfly]

If my SO watched me like you monitor your BF, I would be scared. Cell phone signals are not consistent, the strength is determined by the amount of power going into each tower, my house gets horrible signal, but somedays my phone's clear as a bell.

 

There are some serious trust issues in this relationship if because of the delivery time of one text message there is an immediate accusation that he's been unfaithful. Has he ever cheated before? What is it thats makes you think he would cheat?

[Slacker]

Let me get this straight, you're using your mans cell phone reception to tell his location? and if he goes somewhere at any time without telling you, he must be cheating?

 

Have you considered a career a a parole officer?

Or a conspiracy theorist?

 

Edit: I just took a look at a few of your last posts, i think "serious trust issue" barely scrapes the surface of the situation here, thats all there is, you asking us whether or not he's cheated.

 

Has he cheated in the past? Are you cheating? What is the deal with this

[GettingOverIt]

You definitely have trust issues.... You need to get those under control or you will run him off with your mistrust and eventual accusations... Until he does something to LOSE your trust, you have no choice BUT to trust!

[Jjasonn28]

I agree with the above posters. Trust has to be worked on here. Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him before? If not, then please, before you drive yourself crazy, and possibly him away.. Take a step back and look at the overall picture.

 

It is a little scary to be basing your suspicions on a cellphone signal. Im no professional, but that type of clingyness (is that a word?) and trust issues suggests to me that perhaps you have deeper self esteem issues. Work on yourself, and be happy with yourself, before you end up pushing him away.

 

Now, Im basing this only on this post. My knowledge of you and your relationship doesn't go any deeper. I could be way off, and if so I apologize. This is my initial reaction though..

 

EDIT*

 

I did a little reading into your other posts here, and I will say that I think my initial reaction, and everyone else's for that matter is bang on. You said he has never done anything to jeapordize trust. That he loves you and is honest with you. Please MJMJ, stop projecting your insecurities. You really need to gain control of yourself and perhaps even seek professional help. Snooping around in his cellphone to see who the callers are, and using text messages as a GPS are not healthy. Your relationship WILL end, and your heart will be broken, unless you take action.

 

Take care.

[Lita43]

Hi There!,

I know that cheating is wrong, but you have to think about what you share together and have a constant respect for each other.

 

If somebody gets mad about having non-attention or not having their needs met, then it is really not that out of the ordinary that they would look for their needs or validation elsewhere!

 

Especially if you are very verbal about your expectations and desires.

 

If this is going way wrong, then you need to connect on a real verbal and honest level.

 

Cheating is cheating no matter what, but doesn't mean that (the person you cheated with) you Love that person and is just a temporary filling of need.

The wrong mates in life might cheat and it's basically about their "Ego" and the talk of the "Other Guy's/Friends".

True "SoulMates" may stray, but it's hard to stay connected at all times if you're not on the Same Page!

When you've been together for a long time (15 years), then you get so comfortable together that the little things don't matter anymore.

I mourn the "Dates" and time together, but he works so much!

There is "Not A Chance In The World That I Don't Love Him With All of My Heart!!!!!"

On one side, you may be totally "In Love! and it doesn't mean that your mate isn't, but communication is soooooooooooooooo totally key to make sure that you both get what you need.

If you were meant to be together, you will work it out.

 

Always, Lita~ XO

[kadvati79]

Having scoped interfaces with a few telco networks here, and some interfacing with cellular networks, I can say without a shadow of doubt that they are absolutely hopeless and unpredictable.

 

It actually amazes me that sms messages get through at all.

 

I would take absolutely no note of the time it says delivered. Weather, temperature, humidity, they all effect reception. Local conditions in rooms can cause receiption to be received in one end and not another! Phones themselves have different abilities to deal with partial packets of information etc... The message travels along telephone networks (possibly several different ones in the states) before finally going to a cellphone tower where the cellphone is "suspected" of being. I can't even recall how the networks figure out what time it got delivered but its about as reliable as a poo-castle.

 

I think this has nothing to do with cellphones and everything to do with something else.

 

Remember, paranoia is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Eventually paranoia will drive the person you love to actually go find someone else who isn't quite as crazy I been there before!

 

Maybe he has given you reason to be suspicious, if so, talk about that. Not about sms delivery times. If not, then you really really need to sort out your paranoia issues.

 

Good luck!

[MJMJ]

Hi everyone,

 

I know it was delivered at 6:30 am--its usually right and he did say yeah it was delivered at that time but he didnt view it then and said he was sleeping. It just really felt odd to me that ALL week, a message was never delivered at his hotel but somehow this one time it was. He was in his hotel for hours one day and he only received my text when he left it and was 5 minutes away or so. Noone else would be suspicious or the fact that i spoke to at 2am that night and usually three times a day while away would make u feel better? It really just felt odd...being paranoid?

[yeawutever]

Unless he cheated in the past, then there would be no need to distrust him. I can't imagine what it would be like if I had a crazy b/f checking my cell phone all the time, that would be kinda freaky.

 

Yea like the other posters stated, Has he cheated in the past?

[kellbell]

MJMJ,

 

I just went back and read all of your threads you posted here and every single one is inquiring whether your boyfriend is cheating. Stained sheets, stained collar...hardly evidence of your man cheating. Instead of spending so much looking for clues of infidelity, try spending time with HIM. You keep second guessing yourself because you keep looking for clues...causing all kinds of things whirling around your head.

 

You need to trust your partner 100%. Without any trust, your relationship does not have a solid foundation. And if you cannot trust people 100%, then the problem is not his, it is yours. He has not given you any indication of shadey behavior.

 

I would take a step back and really reflect as to why you have a hard time trusting others. Start from there. Any more accusations like that, you are going to lose him. Take care.

[MJMJ]

hi,

 

no i don't think he has cheated. I have caught him in two lies but i do not think it was because he was cheating. I think it was just to avoid me getting angry or jealous or whatever the case may be. It was to avoid an argument.

 

He did say it was delivered at 6:30AM but says he was sleeping. I'm sorry--i just thought it was weird how all week long it never worked. He would be in his hotel for hours and only receive it when he left the room and was about 5 minutes away. So i just couldn't help thinking what i thought. I guess i should give the benefit of the doubt.