He calls me names :(

[Diva_Lee]

Well.... my b/f and i got into an argument last night . For some reason he likes to call me an {censored by Moderator}, a freak and then tells me im {censored by Moderator} in. I've told him many times to stop calling me these names, but he just doesnt seem to listen. I've been holding in my frustration for weeks. and last night i exploded. he called me an {censored by Moderator}, freak and said i was {censored by Moderator} in and i told him if he wants to disrespect me in my house then he should leave. Then he started to laugh.....so i said ge the _ _ _ _ out!!!! anyway, im going on vacation for a few days and i feel kinda bad 4 shouting at him. should i feel bad. should i send him an email to apologize b4 i go 2day? I just dont want any tension between us when i get back. what should i do???

[Caterina]

Sweetie, no one deserves to be treated like that.

[Diva_Lee]

i kno. and when i told him 2 stop he tells me he is just joking. but i dont like it at all. and about 10 min after i told him 2 stop he called me an {censored by Moderator} again......and i got pissed n he started laughing saying he is sorry.

[kellbell]

Hi Diva Lee!

 

Ok, in your case, it is not a good idea to hold stuff in for weeks. It is better to talk about things right then and there, so there is no pent up frustration and resentments.

 

As far as him calling you names, I would not tolerate it at all. And the fact he says he is joking afterwards is extremely passive aggressive and patronizing.

 

I would go on vacation, have a good time. DO NOT call him. You both need to cool off. He needs to stop calling you names and you need to communicate with him a bit better. He owes you an apology. Until he apologizes, I would not call him and do your own thing. Good luck and have a safe vacation.

[Momene]

Agree, let him sweat for a few days and if you see someone nice you like while away, give him the red card!

[RayKay]

Um, I would say you dump him.

 

Calling you names is verbal & emotional abuse. Words can hurt us too and him saying "I am joking" is being passive-aggressive so he does not have to apologize, and instead you feel maybe you are overreacting (which you already feel you are since you yelled at him...!).

 

I suggest you do not call him, do not contact him, nothing. If he comes and apologizes profusely and does NOT do it again - well, see if that happens. If he doesn't..hold your head high and leave him in your past hon.

[Andy223]

women... lol

[RandomAdvisor]

I agree with RayKay. This is emotional abuse and you should not tolerate it.

[lunatic]

No one deserves to be treated this way. I would urge you to leave him but, if you are not capable of doing so then let the jerk sweat it while your gone. I would suggest you do not say your sorry from standing up for yourself.

 

You deserve to be treated as an equal not a slave or personal property. You are a person like everyone else and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Sorry I just don't have the patience to be treated like that by someone who supposedly loves me.

[BellaDonna]

women... lol

 

I'm not sure how this adds anything to the discussion. The post is about a person being emotionally abused.

 

Anyways, Diva, I agree with the others. You do not deserve to be treated like that, especially by someone who is supposed to care about you. I would not treat an enemy that way.

 

Do not send any e-mail apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry about. Go on your trip- have a great time- don't call him- and seriously think about dumping him. The other side to this is that people can only treat you badly if you let them. You have the choice to show him the door, and to never have to be hurt like that again. I hope you put yourselrf first and do what is in your best interest.

 

 

BellaDonna

[Beyondthesea]

Drop him. Emotional abuse hightens to physical abuse in most cases, because it's the way to break you down enough that you will tolerate it.

 

At first that is the way my ex was to me...calling me names and I'd ask him to stop. Then eventually it got to physical and by then you are broken down.

 

Take this vacation and don't call or talk to him...ever again! Knowing what I know now, I would break it off with any man who screamed at me and called me names in anger. Not worth the hassle and pain.

[babypink61]

Hi Diva_Lee,

 

You definitely should NOT be the one doing the apologizing, HE should! He is flat out rude and disrespectful. I read some of your old posts and from all of the stuff you have wrote about him, I think you need to kick this dude's butt to the curb cuz you deserve so much better than him!

[yeawutever]

Whoever started is the one who needs to apologize and is HIM. Don't send him any e-mail nor card, nothing, he should be doing that. Unless he change that attitude and doesn't do it again, ok, but I would suggest it's time to show him the door. What ever happen to the golden rule "Treat others how you would like to be treated". You yelling at him in return and calling him names isn't good either, but that's what he was looking for, thereforeeee is he treats you like crap, he should be treated like crap too.

 

Antother thing, ended, it can lead to physical. One question I would like to ask. Did he ever had previous relations, if so did he treat them like this also?? Did he ever get violent with girls or passive angressive (name callings)??

Or is he like this in general with everyone??