don't like what i've become

[Mark82]

about 4 years ago my ex cheated on me (we were together for 6), we decided to get back together but for a whole year I became really negative/depressed and angry with her and life in general(before that I was fine). we broke up 5 months ago and even though i'm no where near as bad as that time 4 years ago when she cheated on me I am getting waves of depressed thoughts. I analyse things about myself, what other people think of me, how I act in front of others, how smart I am to the point where I feel insecure.

 

This is causing me problems with being social as I feel like i'm not good enough and probably push a lot of my friends away, including my ex.

 

When I go out to a nightclub or something and have a lot of fun, I have huge come downs, one second i'm talkative, the next I look really angry and people ask if anythings wrong. Last night was the biggest example of this and I realised that maybe my natural state of mind is fairly negative and when I have fun I am just returning to my normal state after it wears off.

 

I just want to sort myself out and be happy but everytime I take action to change things I end up getting down not too long after.

 

sorry for the rant, just want to know the best way to overcome this.

[Tigris]

I think you should talk to a counsellor.

 

Good luck

[Liquid Dream]

I know how you feel with the depression, sometimes I would anaylze myself, never felt like I could talk to anyone, ALWAYS inscure, had ups and downs, do you ever try to talk to anyone? Sometimes when you keep things inside you often can feel very misunderstood. I don't believe in therapy or medications, you have to find you own happiness on you own, sometimes when I feel upset about anything I just try to think of my favorite phrase "sometimes letting go is the only way to hold on"

[becallamjr]

I would recommend therapy, it can't hurt