New relationships...do we analyze things to much.

[Insects Destroy]

It has always been said, that talking about stuff helps.

 

So im gonna blurb some stuff.

 

Just over a year ago i was in a relationship with a girl, that last a few years. We split up on kind of mutual ground, but dont talk anymore (live in different towns and just didnt contact each other)

 

Anyway, since then i've never really had a proper girlfriend. I've got close to a few girls but nothing has ever really come of it.

 

I got thinking about this, and it seems now and by other posts within the forum that i spend more energy on worrying about if they like me, will it work out, will we go out and hit that dreaded silence!?

 

When i was younger or when i met my ex i was with this didnt enter my head, i just let things happen.

 

Now it seems to be some sort of chasing game of who should text first, email etc, is this technology moving in?

 

Is there away of making the mind not to try and think about and analyze every text, or thing they say?

[eleanorrigby1]

God yes!! when I met my ex or any boyfriend before him, life just went on its merry way and I never worried or thought of losing them, I had EVERY faith in the love they professed, I was happy and giddy and floating on air. My friend said I was a nicer calmer person that it suited me being inlove.

 

Now with my current boyfriend, every insecurity seems to be always present. I analyse everything, I worry about losing him, I worry about how I behave, whether Im too nice, too * * * * *y, too moody, too happy, too sensitive, too available. Do I tell him I love him too much? not enough?

 

I don't like the idea that this neurosis has come with age, because does that mean it will get worse the more wrinkles I get? lol! however, with age, comes experience and it is sometimes the experience, that causes us to react in such a way.

[Lady Bugg]

Hey Insects.

 

I think it's normal to obsess to a small degree in the early stages of a relationship. We ALL want to make a good impression (hopefully)...but I think the more relaxed and flowing things going, the better. I used to worry about that awkward silence on a date, but once you're with someone who just blabs to blab, or to hear themselves talk, the silence is quite nice Silence does NOT mean things aren't going well....sometimes being silent gives you the opportunity to actively LISTEN to the other person, and to pay attention to any red flags. Sometimes it's just relaxing.

[brando]

Insects,

 

the more time you spend worrying the less time you have to enjoy the company. I believe worry is a habit. We choose to worry, it doesn't just happen, it isn't uncontrollable. It means nothing more than being insecure about a certain situation, or uncomfortable.

 

Try to worry less of what is going on in the moment you are with this person, and focus on enjoying the time together.