Opinions on dating co-workers

[iceberg21]

So I'm just curious on how people feel about dating co-workers.

 

Obviously the reason I ask is a female co-worker and myself get along VERY well. Things are very flirty between us, in fact just yesterday she told me how much she liked my eyes. I'd like to think of myself as no dummy, and that seems like a pretty clear signal to me.

 

At this point I can take it or leave it just the same. I work very closely with her, and suspect I will for some time. Typically my policy is to not date someone with whom I work this closely with. I'm not that set in my ways that I would NEVER do it. But I tend to think ahead and if things go bad, that puts us in a tough spot. Like I said, I'm at the point where I can just forget the idea and we can continue "sport-flirting" or try to make something happen.

 

Opinions/rants/ideas?

[kellbell]

Never never mix business with pleasure. I have yet to see an office romance work out.

[jabele]

I agree with Kellbell in that you really shouldn't mix business with pleasure...

 

At the same time, I think inter-office romances are common and can work out. I actually know a girl who's marrying someone she works with. Granted, no one in the office knows they are actually dating, but they live together and things are going great for them.

 

I suppose it wouldn't kill you to try to get to know the girl better...you can see what progresses from there.

[jabele]

P.S.- I like your Rob Zombie picture

[novaseeker]

My ex-wife and I met at the office, so I can't agree that office romances don't always work out (the subsequent failure of our marriage had nothing to do with office romances, we had not worked together other than the several months at the beginning of our relationship before we were married).

 

The risk, however, is that if things don't work out (and you have to face the reality that most relationships, wherever they start, fail), you are stuck with that person in your professional and work life, which is painful emotionally and, depending on the specific situation, can also impact you practically at work in terms of promotions, office politics and the like.

 

So it can work, but it has its own downsides if it doesn't work.

[kellbell]

I did not write they do not work out, I personally have not seen them work out. I should have worded it better.

[kristo]

Hey There,

 

You're asking for a whole world of potential hurt if you go down that route. I've been down that road twice. Personally, wouldn't go down that route again, esp as the last one was a narcassist and made my last 2 months in that role hell (she was the CEO's PA )

 

On the other hand, I have personally seen 5 cases, where people have embarked on a romance and ended up getting married (2 with kids ). However, these individuals all ended up working in different departments or went to work for another company, once it was out

 

It's your call, but bear in mind what might happen if things go belly up.

 

Best,

 

K

[vesper]

I have seen several occasions where there were married couples working together in the same office. It depends on the type of work and if you can keep it strictly professional at the office.

 

For a new office romance, It is completely natural to see this emerge as we spend at least forty hours of our week with our co-workers, relationships are bound to emerge. Just at those beginning stages of romance it can be tricky as there are so many hormones flying around, and generally works better if you are able to keep it a secret or is a large company and you are in different departments.

[annie24]

Never never mix business with pleasure. I have yet to see an office romance work out.

 

My friend likes to say, "Don't poop where you eat."

 

Yes, people do meet their significant others at work, but if it doesn't work out, it can make things incredibly awkward and can make a very difficult working situation.

 

Think about things - think about the worst breakup scenario. Can you imagine coming to work in that environment?

[shes2smart]

I've done it twice.

 

First time, it was ok. We had worked together for about 10 years before anything happened. It was more a FWB situation. No one we worked with ever found out, and when it was time to end it (I wanted more than FWB--not with HIM, but I wanted a relationship), we did so quietly & amicably...went back to being co-workers and got along fine for years afterward.

 

Second time...ugh...I still don't like to think about how ugly that got. It wasn't the main reason but it was certainly a contributing factor to me leaving a job I'd had for 15+ years.

 

On the whole, I agree..."Don't get your honey where you get your money."

[iceberg21]

Hey everyone, thanks for your replies.

 

So the general consensus seems to be what I believed already. I'm not going to totally discount the idea of anything ever developing, and I will indeed ask her out for coffee, but I'm not going into it with any pre-concieved ideas.

 

I have no reason not to get to know her better, and at the very worst I've made a great new friend. I think at the end of the day, being that we're in the same office area and can't help but see eachother daily, something serious might not be in our best interests.

 

Thanks again everybody.

[Starfall]

Yikes... just be careful.

Remember.. everything is fine now and if you date things could be great.

However.. like in marriage, "The person you marry isn't the same person you divorce"

The same holds true for office relationships. Hopefully she is mature enough that if it didn't work out you both could be friends after, though it is hard and ackward.

I knew this couple who dated at work, then broke up. The drama was unreal. From the highway speed-chases after work, to name bashing, not cool. Do what you think is best and good luck.

[Shesa]

My opinion is that in this day in age--- we spend all our time at work. Where else are we supposed to meet someone? It's a plus also, because you get to know someone without "dating"-- how cool is that? However, I would not recomend you starting a relationship with this woman unless you could see yourself marrying her. WHAT? Yes that's right. There are plently of women who are not co-workers you can date and have enjoyable momments with. If this relationship does not work out, you just might ruin her career if she can't stand to see the sight of you or vice versa. Keep your hands off unless you see something serious... if you really think she is the best off them all... I'd go for it. Be prepared for all the nasty ramifications if it does not work out. Good luck