Dating the old-fashioned way

[mjctraider]

I'm sure this has been played out to death, but i just don't feel like scrolling through all the threads. Sorry.

 

I've tried the online dating thing for years and years and I seem to get no where. So my question is how do you date the old-fashioned way when you are in your late twenties and shy?

 

I live in a small area where most women are already taken and there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of single women. I have a few friends, but all the women they know are taken. There really aren't any groups or clubs you can join around where I live.

 

There are plenty of women where I currently work, but there is that old rule about not dating someone you work with and if you do, it could get real ugly. Also I don't drink so clubs and bars are not my thing and I really don't have any interest in meeting a woman from a bar or club, it's just me nothing against women that like the bar or club scene.

 

So what can a guy like me who is shy and 28 do to get a date before the Internet came along? I'm tired of trying through the online dating sites and I think I'm ready to try my luck by just meeting someone in a public place or something, jsut don't know how to go about doing it.

[shes2smart]

How did people meet people in the pre-Internet days? Couple ideas come to mind:

 

Networking. You make everyone you know aware of the fact you are single, looking, and willing to go on a blind date. There are probably people who know you AND who also know some nice single gals who are looking for a decent guy. (I met one of my exes because a co-worker was dating his brother.)

 

Many churches have singles groups if you're a church-goin' type.

 

The precursor of Internet dating was the newspaper personal. Dunno if that's still a viable option, but I did quite a bit of dating that way in the early and mid 90's.

 

Volunteer for a charity you personally support. That way you are doing something good AND getting some contact with people who you might not otherwise meet and share a common interest with you. Oh, yeah, and even if the people you meet while volunteering may not be single themselves...they might have a sister, daughter, friend, etc. who IS (see "networking" above)

 

If you can muster up some interest, take a continuing ed class on a topic that is primarily of interest to women -- sewing, cooking, etc. The class topic will give you a starting point for a conversation.

[orgasmictofu]

Online dating is just like real life dating IMHO. You meet a person, go out for coffee, see if there is a connection, and if there isin't, you move on.

 

Maybe my definition of "online dating" is different than other people's. I used to just seek out people I would be interested in (as friends or more) online, chit chat with them a bit messenger style, and then meet up with them over coffee. I never dated anyone online. I just used the internet as a forum to meet new people.

 

For me, meeting people online is really no different than meeting someone in real life: at the grocer store, coffee shop, class, whatever. Whatever you use is just a venue.

 

If you want to try meeting people in real life, go to places where people congregate. Find a hobby, go swimming or biking, walk your dog, take a class.

 

Good luck to ya

[heloladies21]

Brother, there is a whole list of sites on this page which discuss attraction and talking to girls

[hosswhispra]

 

For me, meeting people online is really no different than meeting someone in real life: at the grocer store, coffee shop, class, whatever. Whatever you use is just a venue.

 

If you want to try meeting people in real life, go to places where people congregate. Find a hobby, go swimming or biking, walk your dog, take a class.

 

Good luck to ya

 

The internet is just another venue to meet people. If you're tired of it, give it a break. I like orgasmictofu's suggestions of taking up a new hobby, taking a class or walking your dog. I find that for me, people are definitely more approachable when they have a pet!

[itsallgrand]

Maybe it's time to move. If you live in a small town or something of that sort; it cuts your prospects down to a barrel full. Meanwhile, there are entire rivers and oceans of single women out there.

 

Might seem rather drastic, but if you are serious and finding a mate is important to you, sometimes it takes big steps.

 

sometimes it's just a numbers game.

[mjctraider]

I appreciate everyone's advice. I don't have a problem with continuing to use the Internet to meet new people for making friends. I mean I mainly use myspace and have joined some local groups around my area and maybe I can meet some new friends from there, but as far as the dating sites go, I think I'm done with them. Tired of the games and everything else.

 

As far as moving to an new area, it has been on my mind and I am currently looking for a new job and I have no problem with moving. I just don't know where I'm moving to yet. All I know is that I will be moving.

[itsallgrand]

That's great, mjc. Moving will mix things up New people, new friends, new co-workers....and a new job!

 

Don't worry. There is someone out there just waiting to find a nice guy like you. Lord knows we need more of them.