mjctraider Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I'm sure this has been played out to death, but i just don't feel like scrolling through all the threads. Sorry. I've tried the online dating thing for years and years and I seem to get no where. So my question is how do you date the old-fashioned way when you are in your late twenties and shy? I live in a small area where most women are already taken and there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of single women. I have a few friends, but all the women they know are taken. There really aren't any groups or clubs you can join around where I live. There are plenty of women where I currently work, but there is that old rule about not dating someone you work with and if you do, it could get real ugly. Also I don't drink so clubs and bars are not my thing and I really don't have any interest in meeting a woman from a bar or club, it's just me nothing against women that like the bar or club scene. So what can a guy like me who is shy and 28 do to get a date before the Internet came along? I'm tired of trying through the online dating sites and I think I'm ready to try my luck by just meeting someone in a public place or something, jsut don't know how to go about doing it. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 How did people meet people in the pre-Internet days? Couple ideas come to mind: Networking. You make everyone you know aware of the fact you are single, looking, and willing to go on a blind date. There are probably people who know you AND who also know some nice single gals who are looking for a decent guy. (I met one of my exes because a co-worker was dating his brother.) Many churches have singles groups if you're a church-goin' type. The precursor of Internet dating was the newspaper personal. Dunno if that's still a viable option, but I did quite a bit of dating that way in the early and mid 90's. Volunteer for a charity you personally support. That way you are doing something good AND getting some contact with people who you might not otherwise meet and share a common interest with you. Oh, yeah, and even if the people you meet while volunteering may not be single themselves...they might have a sister, daughter, friend, etc. who IS (see "networking" above) If you can muster up some interest, take a continuing ed class on a topic that is primarily of interest to women -- sewing, cooking, etc. The class topic will give you a starting point for a conversation. Link to comment
orgasmictofu Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 Online dating is just like real life dating IMHO. You meet a person, go out for coffee, see if there is a connection, and if there isin't, you move on. Maybe my definition of "online dating" is different than other people's. I used to just seek out people I would be interested in (as friends or more) online, chit chat with them a bit messenger style, and then meet up with them over coffee. I never dated anyone online. I just used the internet as a forum to meet new people. For me, meeting people online is really no different than meeting someone in real life: at the grocer store, coffee shop, class, whatever. Whatever you use is just a venue. If you want to try meeting people in real life, go to places where people congregate. Find a hobby, go swimming or biking, walk your dog, take a class. Good luck to ya Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 Brother, there is a whole list of sites on this page which discuss attraction and talking to girls Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 For me, meeting people online is really no different than meeting someone in real life: at the grocer store, coffee shop, class, whatever. Whatever you use is just a venue. If you want to try meeting people in real life, go to places where people congregate. Find a hobby, go swimming or biking, walk your dog, take a class. Good luck to ya The internet is just another venue to meet people. If you're tired of it, give it a break. I like orgasmictofu's suggestions of taking up a new hobby, taking a class or walking your dog. I find that for me, people are definitely more approachable when they have a pet! Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 Maybe it's time to move. If you live in a small town or something of that sort; it cuts your prospects down to a barrel full. Meanwhile, there are entire rivers and oceans of single women out there. Might seem rather drastic, but if you are serious and finding a mate is important to you, sometimes it takes big steps. sometimes it's just a numbers game. Link to comment
mjctraider Posted May 3, 2006 Author Share Posted May 3, 2006 I appreciate everyone's advice. I don't have a problem with continuing to use the Internet to meet new people for making friends. I mean I mainly use myspace and have joined some local groups around my area and maybe I can meet some new friends from there, but as far as the dating sites go, I think I'm done with them. Tired of the games and everything else. As far as moving to an new area, it has been on my mind and I am currently looking for a new job and I have no problem with moving. I just don't know where I'm moving to yet. All I know is that I will be moving. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 That's great, mjc. Moving will mix things up New people, new friends, new co-workers....and a new job! Don't worry. There is someone out there just waiting to find a nice guy like you. Lord knows we need more of them. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now