Yvette84 Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 I started dating this guy I met online, he was super funny and silly online (and he still is) but in person/phone, he is SO serious!!! the thing that attratced me to him was his sense of humor, I totally can't be with a guy that's this serious all the time, i thought maybe he was like this because it's new and he was nervous or something...so we spoke about it and he said he's being himself and he's comfortible with me. so whats the deal?????????????? I like him alot! I just can't deal with a guy that's so serious...... but I don't want an IM chat relationship!!! what to do.......... Link to comment
Diggitydave Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 I started dating this guy I met online, he was super funny and silly online (and he still is) but in person/phone, he is SO serious!!! the thing that attratced me to him was his sense of humor, I totally can't be with a guy that's this serious all the time, i thought maybe he was like this because it's new and he was nervous or something...so we spoke about it and he said he's being himself and he's comfortible with me. so whats the deal?????????????? I like him alot! I just can't deal with a guy that's so serious...... but I don't want an IM chat relationship!!! what to do.......... define serious Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 I wonder to what you mean by him being soooo serious. What is he doing that is very different than he does online ? Hard to say though, if he is truly that different, as to why. Maybe he IS nervous and has not opened up his funny humerous side to you over the phone and in person. Link to comment
jabele Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Yeah, possibly elaborate on this? I hate very serious people as well -- but I'm one big goof ball! ;-) Link to comment
Yvette84 Posted April 28, 2006 Author Share Posted April 28, 2006 Well...what i mean by serious is......he rarely jokes or laughs or even smiles...he's a happy guy, but like I don't see much of a sense of humor, I NEED a great sense of humor. Like online...he'll say random weird things...and he'll put goofy emoticons all the time, and joke, stuff like that. Link to comment
jabele Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Oh, I see...yeah. I've dated people and when I realized they had no sense of humor I was like "ohh..." Its a big thing for me too, so I completely understand. But is it possible that he was just nervous? Maybe see how it goes a couple more times...if you still feel he's "too serious" then thats okay...at least you gave it a shot! Link to comment
Bethany Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 He's hardly going to admit to being nervous, he told you that because he didn't want to admit it. His personality shows through on IM because he is relaxed and comfortable, maybe a taste of things to come if you get on in real life. Give the guy a chance, try to crack the jokes for a while to take the pressure off him. It aint easy trying to be calm when your heart is pounding in your chest. I'm sure when he is relaxed the real him will show through. Link to comment
novaseeker Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 It's hard to say. Sometimes people are less inhibited in online conversations and that could be the case here. Sometimes, however, people's online persona is very different from their offline persona. It may be that he is generally serious and when online adopts a goofy persona. I'd recommend probing just a tad longer to see if he really is serious like that offline generally and it isnt nerves ... but if you don't see more of the humour you crave soon enough, it may be time to move on. I can't stand a lot of goofiness, it gets on my nerves .. I love serious people, but this is an area where compatibility is important, and if you don't like serious people then you have to find out quickly if that is who he is so that you can decide whether to move on to someone else. Link to comment
KileOriginal Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Look, he's probably still more comfortable online than in person. If you guys can get to know each other better and he can get more comfortable around you I am beyond a doubt sure he will lighten up. Even guys are a little shy and uncertain at first in person, just give him a little more time. Link to comment
Lansing Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 The other thing is, online, it is easier to be "witty" because there is a bit more time to react. There are so many times in person where a few seconds have passed and I would think "oh, I could have said this...." or something. In person, you don' get that chance to think much about responses but, online, it is easier... Link to comment
btbt Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 It sounds like what you are saying is not that he is serious, but he is boring. Like everyone else says, it's easy to be more relaxed online. And then there are the people who are funny and witty in person, but as animated as cardboard on the phone, e-mail or online. Give him some time. Sounds like he'll open up once he relaxes. And if not, there are worse things in life than boring guys! Link to comment
Andy223 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Well...what i mean by serious is......he rarely jokes or laughs or even smiles...he's a happy guy, but like I don't see much of a sense of humor, I NEED a great sense of humor. Like online...he'll say random weird things...and he'll put goofy emoticons all the time, and joke, stuff like that. ask yourself something here... are you making him laugh? are you serious when he is around? why should he have to perform consistantly when he is on a date... mabye he is just relaxed to be with you... mabye he is "being himself?" obviously i dont know this guy so i cant make any real judgements... but i wouldnt judge him on his sense of humour alone... he prolly has a bit more to offer than just being "funny" all the time. It is impossible to be funny all of the time anyway... online is easier to make jokes because rarely do you see the expression on the other persons face Link to comment
Venturer Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Maybe his online persona is WAY different than their real life. That's the trouble with online dating... Link to comment
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