Great first date but 2nd bombed???

[lonelyfish]

Guess I'm just posting for a little pick me up and to let off some frustration. I met this guy on line who I had so much in common with. We had a great phone conversation and planned to meet for dinner. The first date when so great. We didn't want to say goodbye to each other. The thing was I was leaving on vacation for a week. We emailed/texted each other while I was away. I got back home and we made plans for a 2nd date. The 2nd date sucked. He was totally a different person. I think I set my hopes too and and now I'm totally bummed about it going so bad. I don't think it was me. I put all my efforts into trying to make him feel comfortable and at least have a good time, but he seemed to care less. I told him at the end of the night I knew something was up and he said he was confused. He said he needed to think things out??? Couldn't he have just been a little more forward with me and told me the truth. My friends seem to think he may be dating someone else. I sent him an email saying I'd like to see if there was something there still between us but I understand if he feels like it's just not there. He has yet to respond. So sad - I really had hight hopes for this guy, and I think that's why I'm so disappointed. Dating really sucks! Has anyone ever had this happen to them?

[renaissancewoman101]

At least you were able to get to the second date. Most times when I do the online dating thing, my dates only last for the first one and they dont call back. I hate online dating. I hate dating in general. Too easy to get your hopes up and get disappointed.

 

I think that is why they say when doing online dating, one should have as many dates set up as possible so that if one guy doesnt work out, then NEXT. Not saying that is an easy thing to do. I cant do that.

[lonelyfish]

Thanks for your reply. Maybe this was just another learning experience. I never had anything like this happen to me. I had really good feelings in the beginning and thought he did as well. Such a bummer. Yes, I can't date more than one person at the same time either. Not that I'm picky but I know what I'm looking for. I find online dating just as difficult as finding a needle in a hay stack! I'm about the same age as you. How do you keep yourself staying postive when it comes to the craziness of dating?

[renaissancewoman101]

At this point in time, I am not dating anybody. I am kind of afraid of dating. At first I was planning to try online dating again in about a month of so because it has been almost 7 months since my ex broke up with me. But after this weekend and all these feelings for my ex coming back to haunt me, I am afraid of getting involved with anybody right now. Dating is PIA and the risks are too high for me to get hurt.

 

So, no, I dont feel positive about dating right now. Maybe a few more months down the road.

[monsieur]

yes, that sounds so much like he must have something else on the go at the same time, it is a shame that people are deceitful though and wasted your time by going on a 2nd date if he wasn't into it all the way

 

you'll find much better, don't worry

[lonelyfish]

Thanks Monsier! Renaissance Woman - I went through a bad break up in the fall. I now look and back and think thank god that didn't work out! I think you need to get yourself back out there in order to move on. It really helps despite the harships of dating. Though, I know you have to be ready to date at your own time or else you could end up just hurting someone else in turn. Best of luck to you!

[btbt]

I once went on a date with a guy (set-up through mutual friend) and our first date was incredible. My friend called me the next day to say that he was head over heels. Then he called me and said he wanted to see me again (the next day!). So there we are on our second date, seemed to be okay, not as exciting as the first, but okay. Then, I never hear from him again! So later I find out that he is dating his secretary. Argh.

 

So to answer your question about getting into dating again -- you have to keep it light and maintain your sense of humor at all times!