For The Guys!! ... Is it true that ...

[fishrrshortae]

... if you really like a girl, you'll wait to sleep with her? There are many guys out there that will try to have sex within the first 3 dates or so. Does this mean they don't want a serious relationship/only see the girl as a sexual partner and nothing more?

[AwdreeHpburn]

I don't think it does. I don't think it means they DON'T want a serious relationship, but if that's you in that picture, you're a hotty and they may have a hard time waiting. But of course if a guy likes you he will wait.

 

For how long again??? - kidding

[mjctraider]

At least for me I would say yes I would wait. And if she told me she wanted to wait til she was married, I would respect that and continue to date her and see if it would turn into a serious relationship. There are more important things in a relationship than sex, but that is me.

[annie24]

If a guy really likes you, then he will respect you, and if he respects you, he will wait for you to be ready.

 

For a lot of men, it is a turnoff if they have sex with a woman in the first few dates. They may be excited at the time, but then the thought creeps in, "wait.... how many other men has she slept with on the 2nd date? does she do this with all the guys?"

 

But... may I add, there are several people here who had sex with their husbands/long term boyfriends on the first date, and they have been happily together ever since. Just because they had sex on the first date didn't mean they were only looking for a fling. Or maybe they were, but saw that they had a real connection, so things progressed.

 

My opinion is you usually hear people say, "Even though we had sex early, the relationship still worked out..." You never hear people say, "gosh, I wish we had sex earlier!" Most people are glad they waited longer. I think there is little harm in waiting until you are sure (for me, that is about 4 months).

[justlookin]

Personally I think that friendship should be applied for a quanity of time to find out if you really like someone.Once the Sexual act occurs it seems to me that we can not get back to that status of friendship.It is like we bypass it and have nothing to build our relationship on.

[fishrrshortae]

LOL Ta Ree yeah that is me in the pic, thank you!! (blush)

 

Justlookin - As a guy, would you be more likely to try to sleep with someone sooner if you weren't really digging them?

[bobo85]

To be honest, i wouldnt respect a girl if she put out on the first date. But i wouldn't go out with a girl unless i was interested in her. How interested? Well that depends on how well the date goes. Good conversation and a good connection between two people is a good date to me.

 

But to answer your question, i wouldnt have sex with a girl unless i was in love with her.

[Luke Skywalker]

If I really like a girl, and think that I will only like that girl and no one else better, then I reckon I'd want to marry her before the third date. Hey, why not, and if she says yes, then we are both married.

 

I'm celibate as it stands, but I will say there are two different types of stimulations with girls of interest.

 

There is a romantic stimulation, and then there is a sexual stimulation. I find that oftentimes, both stimulations are distinct or separate. A romantic stimulation means to me, that being in the other person's company, and doing fun things together is gratifying in itself to the extent that sex is unnecessary. However, a good kiss on the lips or french kiss may be nice to top off such a meeting or date (at least that should occur within the first three dates).

 

A sexual stimulation, may mean you want to get off with someone. They may have really good physical features on their body, that would be a sexual turn-on, but you dont really care about them. Well, that scenerio sounds like the type of stimulation a guy would have to 'really like someone' as you are saying.

[itsallgrand]

Girl talking here...

 

It means they are Horny! Nothing more.

 

If it turns YOU off that they are so eager...well, that i can understand. I like a man with some restraint too.

[justlookin]

LOL Ta Ree yeah that is me in the pic, thank you!! (blush)

 

Justlookin - As a guy, would you be more likely to try to sleep with someone sooner if you weren't really digging them?

People have different views and opinions about Sex,my view is that Sex between a Man and a Woman is the most intimate contact they can have,it is sacred to me.Personally I would not try and sleep with someone sooner or later if I was not digging them.Most people can only put on a mask for soo long and then the real person comes out in time.

[Daddy Bear]

there comes a point at which a reasonable guy would decide that he has no hope of a sexual relationship (which to some is the same as a serious relationship, btw) but my limit would not be three dates. what's the rush?

 

especially with a cutie like fishrrshortae!

[SxcLady]

okay, I have made males wait until at least 4 months but i made one wait 6months and another wait 12months. They didnt mind and they respected it but still turned out to be idiots! I would almost never have sexual intercourse within the first four months. I say almost never because its been 8months since i last had sexual intercourse, and the guy i like and i have liked each other for the last 8months. but we are waiting until we are both settled to call it a relationship. We both want it to work out and pray it will. I wouldnt make him wait 4months, maybe a week or two but not 4months LOL. Weve been waiting pretti much 8months anyway. so ... explainable?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

My boyfriend and I started spending nights together after 1 month..

 

But it wasnt until 4 months in that we did anything physically heavy as he was conscious of not rushing anything. We've been together 6+ months now. Direct quote - "Its always YOU I wanted, not sex, Id wait a VERY long time to sleep with you, etc"

 

Hes 21, Im 18.

[Jhodas]

The consenus here seems to be that men should be made to wait because if a girl puts out on the first date she's not 'serious relationship' material or she's an 'easy lay'.

 

Just to put a different spin on things:

 

I'm a horny guy. I respect the sanctity of sex between two people who really care about each other, I've experienced it, it's a wonderful thing. I've also experienced sex for the sake of it, some call them flings, some call them one night stands, whatever.

 

To me: sex can be simple a release of tension, or a culmination to a good night out. It can be a 'frivolity' if you like. (I'm sure a few of you will cringe at that). However; frivolous sex pales in comparison to a really intimate night with someone that holds your heart in their hands. It becomes more than the physical act of intercourse. It becomes an affirmation of the way you feel about each other. You give more of your soul when you make love to someone you adore.

 

FYI:

1) I am in a relationship.

2) I practise and have always practised safe sex.

 

To the lady who made a man wait 12 months: With all due respec ma'am, thats a frightening concept to me as a young man. Truly. I would have felt like I was stuck in a rut after 3 months, maybe even two. But perhaps the two of us take life in general at a different pace.

[fishrrshortae]

I would have felt like I was stuck in a rut after 3 months, maybe even two.

 

After only 2 months?? I dunno, at least 2-4 seems reasonable to me

especially if you want to be in love with the person and not just having sex with them

[Jhodas]

ah see, the 'L' Word. I don't have to be in love with someone to care about them and adore them and for them to mean the world to me. I was chasing my current gf for about a month before we slept together, but we were seeing each other 4-5 times a week. In big chunks. This is what I'm like with new relationships. Would it be fair to say this is why it seems like I move fast?

[SxcLady]

No Jhodas it doesnt. It depends on the individuals and the person they are with. On here you will find the girls and guys that reply are the ones which have made people wait and not wanted to be that intimate with their partner until the feeling arises. if you know what i mean ... ?

 

off topic but, my mother recently gave me some advice ... not that im taking this advice! ... she used to say "marry for love" now she says "marry for the sex", she recently found a partner who has shown her a few tricks in the bedroom and she tells me that the sex must be great if you wanna live with that person your whole life!!! LOL scary.

[BAS231187]

i really "dig" one girl atm. we arnt going out but we have been best friends for 7 months. we are very close, im 18, im a virgin and i think she is incredibly sexy. but despite all that when we both had a few drinks and she decided to stayed the night. we both slept in my single bed and i respected her. we kissed and cuddled and fell asleep next each other.

 

even tho weve been incredibly close for so long i still dont think twice about waiting longer, even after a few drinks.

 

we have talked and there are reason for us not being together that are irelivent. but we both agreed if we did get together it would be a long term relationship.