To those who are Europeans/Latins, or kiss cheeks.

[zpivat]

I have a very close friend and she is Latin American. We've been close friends for so long, and whenever we greet, I gave her a kiss (with lips) on each cheek. Well funnily enough, we were discussing about this kissing issue. She told me that while she has no problem with it at all, she told me that she doesn't think it's normal between friends, and suggests that they only kiss cheek with cheek (and not lips with cheeks)

 

Well I immediately got embarrassed as I thought that it was a very normal thing to do in Latin America. Moreover, I have many, many, MANY European acquaintances (Italians, Spanish, French, Dutch, English, Germans, Greeks, etc), and I know 100% (and have seen) that they (especially towards the opposite sex) kiss their (close) friends when greeting, and very often lips to cheeks.

 

This is certainly embarrassing for me, and I swear I'd never use my lips anymore on her cheeks as I completely respect her (ALTHOUGH she doesn't mind, actually). I wonder if it was I who was unreasonable for doing that, or she's just somewhat too conservative.....

 

Opinions?

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I vary, but it's mostly cheek to cheek twice since I'm shy. For me it depends on the person and I usualy follow her lead, rather than pucker up a mile away upon seeing her.

 

But nothing beats a good 3 second stare followed by a quick "s'up" head nod. Do it with shades and you'll look mighty cool.

[BellaDonna]

Well I come from a very traditional Italian family, and what you describe as far as kissing the cheeks is very common. Even though I came from that culture, I always hated the cheek kissing. I've always been antsy about people kissing me- maybe over-paranoid about mouths/germs and annoyed when men's pinchy faces scratch my cheek. From childhood I sort of denounced the cultural tradition of cheek kissing that everyone else in my family adhered to, and was seen as a "rude" child. As a young child I'd even say "yuck" and wipe my face after a relative kissed my cheek. I'd hid behind my grandfather's chair if someone came over and I didn't like them and if I didn't want them near my cheeks. So I guess my point is, just because she is from a Latin American culture where that is practiced, does not mean she particluarly cares for it. Currently I only like when my husband kisses my cheek, and I tolerate it from my grandparents.

 

I don't think you should worry about it too much, or feel weird or embarrassed. From now on, just keep her comment in mind and greet her differently.

 

BellaDonna

[tylercdurden2004]

I have been to a variety of countries and have friends from a variety of countries and I have never witnessed the lip to lip kiss. I have however been immersed in teh cheek kissing culture of some of these countries. Each country has its own protocol so to say. For example in germany I believe its one kiss on each cheek, so two in total, in neighbouring France however its 2 kisses on one cheek and one kiss on the other alternating back and forth. Google a website that deals with "greetings in other cultures". It pays to know cause you dont want to kiss someone from a culture where such closness is a big no-no. Again I dont see any cultures that I have been to where lip-to-lip kissing is the norm for friends.

[zpivat]

So I guess my point is, just because she is from a Latin American culture where that is practiced, does not mean she particluarly cares for it.

BellaDonna

 

She does care for it.....but I mean, she suggests that cheeks to cheeks is the norm, as opposed to lips to cheeks.

[zpivat]

I have been to a variety of countries and have friends from a variety of countries and I have never witnessed the lip to lip kiss. Again I dont see any cultures that I have been to where lip-to-lip kissing is the norm for friends.

If you read my post once more, you'll see that I never wrote about lips to lips kissing

I was talking about lips to cheeks.....

[RayKay]

She does care for it.....but I mean, she suggests that cheeks to cheeks is the norm, as opposed to lips to cheeks.

 

Yeah, this is how I am used to it either, I used to be fairly into latin dancing, and was around several people with latin backgrounds and this was how they did it at least - like air kisses on both sides of the cheeks, but without actually contacting with the lips - close, but not quite! My Quebecois/French Canadian friends also do the same.

[BellaDonna]

she suggests that cheeks to cheeks is the norm

 

I'd say if that's the norm for her, then go with it.

 

Her views on this can be from a varitety of sources, and not just her ethnic identity of being Latin American. For instance, lips to cheeks may be the norm for her family, but she may apply a personal rule of cheek to cheek for friends. Sometimes more restrictions are placed on different greeting based on whether they are between people of same-sex or opposite-sex as well.

 

It's hard to find one "norm" that will fit everyone....but she's communicated her idea of a norm to you, and that's all that matters.

 

 

BellaDonna

[tylercdurden2004]

If you read my post once more, you'll see that I never wrote about lips to lips kissing

I was talking about lips to cheeks.....

 

Right sorry a bit of confusion on my part. However just insert cheek for lips. Again in "kissy" cultures I have never notices contact with the lips. Its always some sort of air-kiss or even just a cheek-to-cheek touch.

[zpivat]

Yes.......well I love the latin culture (and her too actually and want to make sure I cause no discomfort.

[tylercdurden2004]

Yes.......well I love the latin culture (and her too actually and want to make sure I cause no discomfort.

 

Hmmmm.....so you tried to sneek 'em in there under the guise of friendliness. No wonder it made her uncomfortable.

[zpivat]

From now on I'll add some air for sure

[zpivat]

Hmmmm.....so you tried to sneek 'em in there under the guise of friendliness. No wonder it made her uncomfortable.

 

I didn't sneak or anything though, because I thought it was a very normal thing to do as I have seen that done a lot.....

she even used to do it to me too....

 

and fyi we've gone on dates multiple times, and in the past we used to kiss (lips to lips) and hugs for hours.....

But I stopped it because I know she's still not over her past breakup......I decided to just give her some space.......not playing hard to get, but I respect her so much and would kiss again only if she is 100% ready.....

[itsallgrand]

Well, one side of my family is French and we greet with a kiss to each cheek.

 

Some of us though do the 'air' kiss (don't want to leave lipstick my my)

 

It's all what you are personally comfortable with. Really. I personally feel that us folks in the West are not as comfortable with touching as the Europeans etc. Did you ever notice how much less we touch each other here?!

So, I love the opportunity to actually touch people. lol.

[zpivat]

Well, one side of my family is French and we greet with a kiss to each cheek.

Yes.....! *******THAT'S******* exactly what I saw.....back in 2002 when the Pope came here to Toronto for the World Youth Day, we hosted some French youths, and I saw them doing that to each other, and even saw the guys do that to my sister without even knowing her to well....

And well, I saw that done in many other occasions too of course....

 

But yes, it's all about personal preferences!!

 

 

So, I love the opportunity to actually touch people. lol.

*******VERY******* cute statement.....!!!! I laughed so hard on this one....je je je ^_^.