What catches a guys eye?....

[Twilight777]

...I'm asking this because I have 2 gorgeous friends. I've observed that while they're both beautiful one of them ALWAYS gets asked to go have lunch/dinner, go to a concert, asked for her phone number etc... while the other girl who gets a lot of attention and "looks" doesn't really get asked out much.

 

This is kinda good because it shows that JUST because you're gorgeous doesn't mean every single guy is gonna ask you to dinner...but then it confuses me, because what does that one girl have that the other doesn't.

 

So when you see two pretty girls....which one would you be more drawn to? What about their personality are you looking for?

[Sexychiick16]

its a lot to do with there outlook on life...

a person in general with a lot of opinions

and just says what they are thinking are a lot

more comfortable with themselves and this is

what guys tend to be drawn to...am i wrong?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Comfortable in own skin

 

Doesnt appear to NEED anyone

 

Laughs a lot.

 

Do the above and you wont have to worry too much about looks.

[TheLegend]

yes you're right Sexychiick but AntiLove has it covered all

[Miss M]

a person in general with a lot of opinions

and just says what they are thinking are a lot

more comfortable with themselves and this is

what guys tend to be drawn to...am i wrong?

I disagree. There are a lot of guys who are terrified of women who look comfortable with themselves. And those kinds of guys are usually more attracted to the girls who seem unsure of themselves, hesistant, girls who crave external approval. What makes a guy more drawn to a certain girl has more to do with just physical beauty... it's a mix of many other subtle qualities, and is probably on a subconscious level.

 

An example... my sister and I could pass for twins, but we've typically been approached by different types of guys. The guys who approach me will usually steer clear of her. I look shy, anxious, introverted, and I'm very straightforward, not the least interested in games... and it shows. And my sister is bold, aggressive, extroverted, and thoroughly enjoys playing games at every opporturnity. I look sincere, and she looks mischievous, and it takes only a few seconds for the guys to figure out the difference. I've often been told by guys that I look "approachable" and it took me years to figure out that meant I look compliant and accommodating. The kinds of guys interested in me often won't go anywhere near my sister. And my sister is not a people-pleaser, and not accommodating. She's demanding, and mostly interested in only pleasing herself. But there are also certain types of guys who are particularly NOT attracted to me. The guys who are attracted to my sister find me very unappealing, boring, even intimidating, but in a different way.

[byates5637]

It really depends alot on the guy. There is no one answer.

 

I love the type of girl with a small waist, cute face and natural look. By natural i mean she is not wearing a pound of make up and slutty outfit. I find myself attracted to the type of girl who dresses to have fun, not one who dresses to be the center of attention.

 

But what catches your eye only matters a little bit. It is the quality of the conversation/connection that is what will really lead to a girl being able to pick me up.(i live in a fantasy world where women "pick up" men)

[Desperatelover76]

byates5637 is completely correct, example: me and my friend are into the exact same things cars, motorbikes, trucks and we even dress the same, some people get us mixed up for brothers. but when it comes to wemon we have 2 completely ideas on what we like and i whatched this show on T.V. and it said attraction is in the nose/gens of people

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Yes I would think it all depends on the guy. I'm a girl but I have a lot of friends who have completely opposite ideas of what a cute guy is than me, and I guess that's ok, since it would be bad if we were all interested in the same guy.

[Sexychiick16]

yeah...they do like different types of girls and personalities..

 

I guess when I posted I was thinking about who is more approachable and would think that it would be a person with a lot to say, but from what the other person post, i can't disagree, but just in my own experience, its usually the outgoing witty person rather than the quiet, shy, nothing to say kind of person...

 

Guess it all depends on what kind of person you are wanting to attract.

I don't just attract One type of Person...I attract many diff kinds and i think

it is because im am a ambivert, so my personality can go more than one way lol

[monsieur]

for me, height, athletic looking, and dark hair, my head almost spins when I see a girl with that combination, especially 5'9 5'10

 

for some reason girls that wear glasses appeal to me too, too many people are preoccupied with contacts that seeing a girl in glasses makes her seem more down to earth

[Miss M]

i can't disagree, but just in my own experience, its usually the outgoing witty person rather than the quiet, shy, nothing to say kind of person...

I get what you're saying too. My sister is outgoing and witty and has no trouble attracting guys. However, I'm quiet and shy, and also have no trouble attracting guys either. Yep, there are certain guys who find quiet a shy girls to be a especially appealing, but from my experience, they aren't the type I'd recommend as quality guys.

 

Anyhow, lately I've also been exploring being an "ambivert"... kinda interesting, eh? Sometimes I feel like a chameleon.

[Kevin T]

When I see two pretty girls, I keep going about my business the other way.

 

As for your friends, it could be anything really. Maybe some guys fancy the brunette over the blonde, or maybe some guys like the shorter girl over the taller one. In the end, it all comes down to personal preference and choices on the male's part.

 

It has been said that we like people who we perceive are like us, so maybe more guys can identify with the one girl over the other because they see her as more like themselves than the other girl.

[Sexychiick16]

chameleon eh? Lol hows that treating you?

 

I think I have figured something out....Guys equal Complication....and Vid Versa...

 

Just be yourself, thats the only real thing I can say to do that will be the most effective.

[Miss M]

When I see two pretty girls, I keep going about my business the other way.

Hey Kevin, from your other posts, I know there's so much more to the story. Would you care to elaborate?

 

It has been said that we like people who we perceive are like us, so maybe more guys can identify with the one girl over the other because they see her as more like themselves than the other girl.

Yeah, it's true, sometimes a guy is attracted to the girl who is LIKE him. But others are attracted to their direct opposites. For example, I'm mostly shy, but mostly it's extroverts who have been attracted to me. I'm also honest, and many liars have been attracted to me. I mean, if you think about it, liars aren't usually attracted to other liars, are they? Liars are most interested in those who are honest, because honest people believe liars are usually being honest, and that works well for the liars. And players aren't typically attracted to others who are players. They're more attracted to someone who can be "played." And abusive people aren't usually interested in an abusive person. Abusive guys go after a woman who will accept their abuse and believe it's her fault. She's definitely opposite in personality from what he is. (And yes, it's the same for an abusive woman.)

 

So yeah, sometimes like attracts like... and sometimes opposites attract.

 

chameleon eh? Lol hows that treating you?

Kinda weird really.... Each day I wake up, I'm never sure what to expect.

 

But really, I'm thinking of it as mostly a transition phase while I try to come out of my shell a bit more. At the core, I'm always going to be an introvert, but occasionally it's just a good idea (and interesting) to do/be something different.

[Sexychiick16]

So yeah, sometimes like attracts like... and sometimes opposites attract.

 

...........Ummm I do see truth to that quote "Yeah, it's true, sometimes a guy is attracted to the girl who is LIKE him. But others are attracted to their direct opposites"

 

It just depends I guess...It all depends on what the person is looking for, You are a being a little sterotypical by saying that, but at the same time i see some truth to it, an example that shows truth is that a abusive guy will always aim for a weak girl who will pretty much let what is happeneding to them occur even though they know deep down inside that they should tell.

 

This works in more than this situation, a outgoing girl is most the time always with a shyer guy, who may even be less attractive because it gives them power, vise versa with guys.

 

This relates to a abusive guy going for a weak victim rather than his equal half because he feels he will eventually be reported to the cops....

 

This is a pretty deep analogy, but this is def. how people tend to pick there next partner...

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

 

[on being an 'ambivert', i presume...] Kinda weird really.... Each day I wake up, I'm never sure what to expect.

 

 

that's cute.

 

i never even heard that term before now, and i think i must be one naturally. sometimes i can be very outgoing, and other times, i am extremely introverted, and sometimes almost simultaneaously. (is that even possible?) who knows,

[Sexychiick16]

yeah, its possibe...

 

if your trying to come out of your shell, don't try, just push yourself to be more social...thats pretty much it

[Miss M]

This works in more than this situation, a outgoing girl is most the time always with a shyer guy, who may even be less attractive because it gives them power, vise versa with guys.

I have a brother who is drop-dead gorgeous, very intelligent and knowledgeable, and he's also hopelessly narcississtic. He almost always chooses women who are much less attractive than he is. On the surface it just looks like he's attracted to a certain type of girl and she doesn't need to be physically attractive for him to find her very appealing. But one of his ex gf's was good-looking, and he finally admitted to her that he felt insignificant when he was with her because when they were going out people looked at her a lot, and he noticed that he wasn't any longer the center of attention. That bothered him and it was a factor in their breakup. Being the best looking half of a relationship gives him a sense of power, and he really can't function without it. Kinda sad.

[Miss M]

[on being an 'ambivert', i presume...] Kinda weird really.... Each day I wake up, I'm never sure what to expect. that's cute.

 

i never even heard that term before now, and i think i must be one naturally. sometimes i can be very outgoing, and other times, i am extremely introverted, and sometimes almost simultaneaously. (is that even possible?) who knows,

It was Sexychiick that first used it here (I hardly ever think to use it)... and yeah, it's possible to be both. In fact, in the very excellent book The Introvert Advantage author Marti Olsen Laney says we're all both, but that we tend to lean toward one or the other. It's like we natually and compulsively shift the from one to the other in order to maintain a type of emotional balance. So, even introverts need to occasionally be extroverted, and extroverts occasionally will be introverted. I wrote a couple of posts about this subject and Laney's book, in case you're interested.

 

[melrich]

So, even introverts need to occasionally be extroverted, and extroverts occasionally will be introverted.

 

Yes very much so. Like most classifications around human personalities, the term you are labelled with usually only means that it is a dominant characteristic, not absolute.

[Miss M]

Yes very much so. Like most classifications around human personalities, the term you are labelled with usually only means that it is a dominant characteristic, not absolute.

Yes, I guess even when we "generalize" about ourselves, it's still not 100% absolute.

 

So, when I say "I'm shy" I guess I should REALLY say "I'm dominantly shy, but NOT absolutely!"

 

... yes, that would definitely explain my occasional (and interesting) excursions into extroversion.

[Backstroke03]

Yeah I think our strengths and weaknesses are what they are, but some things are hidden and or heightened based on the individual situation.

 

As for what catches my eye, it's hard to explain but it's a vibe. Sure physical attraction is one thing, but there's got to be more, something approachable about the girl. I'm a sucker for the girl next door look, so that cute/friendly smile gets me everytime. Very individual thing for each person as far as I can tell.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

hey miss M and sexy chic i never thought of it like that, that's kind of cool, i might swing over and check into that.

[Sexychiick16]

no problem...I was just sharing my opinion!

 

I think the reason why I fall into the ambivert

category is because I am so un decisive about things.

Anything from what color i am going to wear to what person

i am going to talk to and right now what college courses i am going to be taking

 

My biggest yet, is finding a boyfriend. Its a big dis advantage in a way

too because, I can come off as confusing and a girl who doesn't really

always know whats good for her. Umm I wouldn't work on being

an ambivert, just be yourself.

 

I think its also to do with my zodiac sign, as corny as this sounds

im two fish swimming the exact opposit way from eachother.

Like i said, Im un decisive and its really hard to make up my mind

sometimes..

 

sorry to make this personal...Just lettin yall know

why I think I am what I am.