acb_22 Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 "I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." Goes back to the ... "I love you, but I'm not in-love with you" phrase that many recite during break-ups ... Just curious what you all think of this quote. Link to comment
RayKay Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 "I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." Goes back to the ... "I love you, but I'm not in-love with you" phrase that many recite during break-ups ... Just curious what you all think of this quote. I don't think the two are the same at all, at least in my experience. I first heard the first quote from one of my former partners. He was affectionate, but not someone whom said "I love you" very often, which bothered me. One day he sent me that quote, and I thought more of it - he did show love in the way he treated me, the way he thought of me. I think too many people take that quote to put up with unfair treatment, when that is not the way it is. It just means accepting that people have different ways of showing love. That does not mean it is right to stay together though, it does not mean "all they have" is enough for you. And that's okay too. You can choose to leave, knowing you need more. As for the latter quote, as bad as a rap as it gets, there is some truth to it. When people say it it means they care about you, but they are missing passion, they are missing an intimate connection, they are missing the desire to work at it anymore. Now for some, the latter two are not important, but for others they most definitely are. I don't think that makes it wrong. Some people on the other hand recite it without even thinking about it, and that is why it gets the bad rap. It's not a good way to break it off with someone, it's a way to make it "softer" when really it just leaves people confused. I love my boyfriend and am dedicated to making it work, and extremely committed. We have had our tough times. But I am also IN love with him, and that element is important to me too, there is a fire there that burns in some way, even when there are rough times. We stoke the fire together and nourish it. At the same time I CHOOSE to be with him, and to nourish that feeling. Link to comment
blender Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 "I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." One of the reasons I do not like this quote is because it could be dangerous,If someone is in an abusive situation may take this quote and use it as an an "excuse" for a partner's unacceptable behavior. Besides love is about giving and receiving warmth/heart in a relationship where you both feel you can love yourself and each other while feeling "comfortable, confident and inspired" to be the best YOU, you can be. Isn't that what we all "want"? Thanks for sharing the quote. Link to comment
Skippy Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 both qoutes are not the same. Not even close. "I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." Applies especailly to upbringing. could be culture, financial background, traditions.. "I love you, but I'm not in-love with you" accept and move on...you dont have a choice there. you cant make someone FALL in-love with you perminantly but you have someone love you. Link to comment
akatoro Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Ahoy hoy. Didn't bother reading the other answers but could be the first quote means you're expecting too much out of someone when they're giving you all they're capable of. It could also mean that they're loving you in other ways than you'd expect. They say that opposites attract so don't expect to understand everything in yer spouse. Second quote, well, it's a cliché is what it is. In my humble opinion it's often honestly spoken. Be glad someone loves you and thinks of you even though those thoughts might not be as intimate as you'd wish. "We are siamese if you please, We are siamese if you don't please" *sings his way into the horizon* Link to comment
Beyondthesea Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 What immediately came to mind: If someone doesn't love you the way you want to be loved, what makes you think this is the person for you? A few years ago I was in an abusive situation and my abusive partner used to use that quote at me so I really have a hard time choking it down. Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 "I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." Goes back to the ... "I love you, but I'm not in-love with you" phrase that many recite during break-ups ... Just curious what you all think of this quote. The first quote.. yep. And Jeffery Dalmer loved his victims before he killed them and ate them for supper. Lots of people sitting on death row and they "LOVED" thier SO to death. The first quote... I agree with.. BEYONDTHESEA. They can love with all they have. But what if you don't subscribe to that type of love. Especially if it is abusive?? or.... on a lighter note. They love you with all they have, but you just arn't getting it or feeling the love. The second quote: This can be possible. As KayRay pointed out. If the snap, fizzle and fire has gone out of a relationship. You may not feel.."IN LOVE" with someone. You are kinda... accustomed to having them in your life. Kinda like an old pair of comfortable shoes. Comfy. Servicable. But would you wear them out dressed to the nines??? Nope. Now.... a NEW pair of shoes, spark and sizzle.. puts a spring to your step. Thats "IN LOVE". and I know the anology is way off.. its just all I could think of this late in the work day. LOL. The second statement... is kinda a bit like waffling when offered as an explantion for a break-up. Its a wimpy way out actually, I think. IF you were using the statement in a conversation with a friend as a way to explain whats going on in your head.. then I can see it. "You know Bob... I love her, she's the mother of my children afterall.. but I am just not IN LOVE with her. We drifted appart years ago." That I can understand. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 "I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." Goes back to the ... "I love you, but I'm not in-love with you" phrase that many recite during break-ups ... Just curious what you all think of this quote. The first quote rings very true for me. I hear it as "Our expectations of love do not reflect what actually exists" Or "Our desires for love and our abilities to provide it are often differing; but both stand independently in reality" Could be for good or ill. What's with all the morbid or sad associations with it? Interesting. The second quote doesn't relate to the first at all in my world. It means I care for you but don't want you in my life as a partner anymore. Link to comment
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