I didn't really know what to say...

[PRSOV]

Tonight I was standing outside my house with a flatmate of mine while he was having a smoke... he was talking to me about what happened with him and his girlfriend. A month ago he found out that his girlfriend of nearly two years had been cheated on him for the second time, I knew this before tonight as he told me initially the other day... but we were just talking about it in general, he trys to act strong about it on the outside and says that it doesn't hurt anymore but I can see that deep down he is still hurting about this, although he said it only hurt badly in the initial stages... his girlfriend doesn't know that he knows yet

 

Anyhow my point is he turned to me at one point and asked "If it was you, what would you do?"... I stopped and thought for a second and replied to say that I would confront her about this issue then 99% likely to dump her, I thought for a second... but then thought... if she loves him then she wouldn't have done it in the first place? All I got was a blank faced reply... I could see that he was thinking deeply about this.

 

Was this the right thing to reply? Is there something that I missed and should have said? I'm not very good at giving people advice although I do my best...

 

If it was you what do you think you would do or even better If you have been in this situation what did you do and what eventuated from it?

[MetalGuitar]

I do not think that you said anything wrong. You said it yourself, she cheated on him for the SECOND time. Apparently she has no respect for her boyfriend. It is about time he moves on.

 

I think that it's only right that you encourage him to confront her and then part ways.

[RayKay]

Well, he DID ask you what YOU would do, and you told him. So I don't know why you are beating yourself up over it

 

I would of said the same thing, especially given it is not the FIRST time it has happened. She has a twisted idea of love, and has no respect. Also, she has hid it from him...so she is not very honest either. She's a liar, a cheater and incredibly selfish.

 

It does not mean he will take your advice, but I am sure it does give him something to think about. Why don't you point him the way of this forum?

 

I don't have any tolerance for cheating..at all. I have ended a relationship for it. My father cheated on my mother several times - even while she was pregnant with us kids - and I am so glad ultimately they parted ways. I would just not tolerate it. I know it's hard for me to say what I would do if there was kids involved and such, but having been a CHILD and seeing it happen to my mother, I would never want my children to see that as how relationships should be either.

[goodquestion]

yeah, he should send her packing, I would have after the first time, she has _zero_ respect for him ...

[PocoDiablo]

By allowing her to cheat more than once means he has no backbone, and she's just going to do it again. At this point, she will do it again because most women - in my opinion - use cheating as the ultimate "test" to get a boring guy to dump her. Now she'll just abuse him because he's asking for it.

 

100% I'd dump her on the spot, no discussion at all.

[annie24]

I think you said absolutely the right thing. especially since he asked, "what would you do?"

 

cheaters are yucky.

[SLMitchell918]

He asked for your thoughts on it and you gave it to him. People have different thoughts on cheating. Some believe that if you feel like you can forgive deep down, then maybe you should give them a second chance but no thirds.. However, forgiving someone is very hard and takes a lot and some people just can't do it. Considering she has done it twice - its time to kick her to the curb.

 

You offered great advice. Sometimes, when someone cheats, it makes the person that got cheated on wonder " if they truly loved me, then why would they do that?"

 

Don't worry, you had a great reply, because its what you would do.

[Jjasonn28]

Hey man.

 

Your opinion is very valid. There is no right or wrong to it becuase its an opinion. Your friend may have been wanting a different answer, but by your honesty you are being the best friend you can be.

 

JP

[PRSOV]

Thank you for the replies, muchly appreciated...

 

I think it really boils down to the last thing I said and that is if she really loved him then she wouldn't have done it, full stop.

 

He also asked me what he should do seeing as she doesn't know that he knows, so I told him to just move on with his life and not worry about any revenge kind of thing as it will only cause him more grief than it would her?..