I Feel Like I Don't Have a Mother...

[YouAndICollide]

I love my mom, no doubt about that, but I'm gonna be 18 in a few months, I'm finishing my last few months in high school and leaving home and moving up north to go to college.

 

Most of my teen years, my dad would be the one to drive me to and from softball and cello lessons and the one at the tournaments and recitals. My mom occasionally showed up for a recital here and there, it bothered me in my younger years, but it's normal for me now.

 

My mom works from 8-5 and then she goes out with her friends and doesn't come home until late at night and when I was 14 and 15 and I needed to talk about LIFE and boyfriends, I went to my dad or my cello teacher who is my 2nd mom...they got me through those years. It hurts to know that I don't have that connection with my mom, that I'm gonna be going out into the world real soon and my mom doesn't care that she didn't spend that time with me...

 

This morning I had my senior recital on my cello, we play, get judged, critiqued, etc., my dad couldn't make it because he's in New Jersey so my mom came...the judge pretty much tore me apart and didn't say one good thing about my performance, I tried to be strong as I walked off, but when I went outside it hurt and I cried, I didn't go to my mom, I went to my cello teacher, and my best friend and her mom and I gave them hugs...but when I gave a hug to my mom, I didn't feel it, I didn't feel that mother-daughter warm feeling you're supposed to get that makes you feel better inside, I didn't...I got that from my teacher and my friend's mom, and others, but not my own mother...

 

and I've realized that whenever I'm sad and my mom will ask me what's wrong, I TRY opening up to her, but it doesn't feel right....after all these years I feel like she's not a person I can turn to to cry on...

 

I'm so emotionally confused...and I don't know where I stand with my mom...I just wish she were there in my teen years....

[Meow18]

I can understand how you feel. My mom has always been the same way with me and my siblings.

 

You know, it's never too late to start a relationship with your mom. Maybe she feels the same way as you?

 

Try opening up to her. You will realize that when you do, you will feel so much better. Tell her you want a good mother-daughter relationship. Chances are, she will be happy to help.

[DN]

I think it is a good idea, as maggie suggests, to try and get a relationship going, even now. But if you do - don't neglect your Dad who has been there for you.

[Decado]

Hey, I know what that feels like. I feel that after my entire 17 years, that i dont know my mother at all. As the situation is, she is my only parent. I feel as if by her working late that she has abandonned me and nothing can be done (now, at least) to change that.

I feel the bond between us will never be what it should be and even if we begin to make one now, it will never be what it should be.

 

Now, i am not sure if you feel like this but it would be great if you could keep your post updated. It would be a great help for me.

thanks a lot.

Decado

[Iuxuriously fendi]

I'm sorry you and your mom have that relationship. I have the same with my mom. If theres something wrong, she doesn't care. If she sees me crying she tells me to stop or she'll give me something to cry about. I think it's because of the relationship she had with her own mother, and how her dad died before she was even born. So try and think about your moms past, and maybe that'd help. Was she an only child ? Did her parents neglect her? Hope I helped. And I hope you and your moms relationship gets better!