She says she's pregnant

[SpyderE]

First things first, this was not a planned pregnancy, second we broke up a day ago and she is not telling me she is pregnant and just had the test. So I don't really know the deal. But looking at this as she is what do ya do with a kiddo? more specifically where do you go from here, prenatal care, lamans, etc. I figure if I am going to have a kid, might as well do it the best I can.

[DN]

Did you see the result of the test or is this just on her say so?

 

Who broke up with whom?

 

Are you sure this is not just a ploy to get you back or seek revenge?

 

If she is pregnant are you sure it would be your child?

[heavensent]

Hmmm, before you go planning for a child, I'd get some verification that she is really pregnant. Some women use this to get the guy back. She may not even be pregnant at all. Make sure you see her DOCTOR test results first. Good luck!

[RandomAdvisor]

Yeah, I'd be extremely suspicious of this one too. I'm assuming you dumped her, and then the next day she's claiming pregnancy. Confirm for sure that she's pregnant, and you can move on from there.

[RayKay]

First things first, this was not a planned pregnancy, second we broke up a day ago and she is not telling me she is pregnant and just had the test. So I don't really know the deal. But looking at this as she is what do ya do with a kiddo? more specifically where do you go from here, prenatal care, lamans, etc. I figure if I am going to have a kid, might as well do it the best I can.

 

It sucks, but I HAVE known girls in my younger days whom DID claim pregnancy to win the boyfriend back...next thing you know they had a 'miscarriage'.

 

I would make sure you SEE the test, and have a doctor confirm it first honestly. I don't necessarily think she isn't, but I am not sure you should be convinced she is yet either.

 

If she is, she has to get into see a doctor for prenatal care if she is continuing the pregnancy.

[venus777]

yeah, i'm a community health worker with pregnant women, but by the time they get to me their pregnancy is verified. but i'd heard stories of this girl lying to her boyfriend about prenatal care to keep him and he found out by asking a medical assistant about the pregnancy test, who blurted out there wasn't one (it's a violation to tell that information, but he was caught off guard cause the boyfriend asked in front of the girl).

so yeah, it's something to check out.

 

but if she decides to keep the pregnancy i caution you about saying she's doing it to keep you. for one, you need to make it clear to her that this doesn't change your relationship, but you'll help support the baby, but that you might decide to eventually date someone else and she will have to accept that.

 

if she still decides to keep the pregnancy knowing that, then she is deciding to do so for herself. i've had women tell me at the clinic that they are being accused by exes that they are keeping the baby to keep them but that they aren't and it really hurts them and makes it hard for them to be accused of doing that when actually they are making a serious decision about being a single mom....

[SpyderE]

She has said that she went to the doc to get the results but cannot get the results printed out for her today. the doc is in surgery all day....... She brought all this up the day after we broke up..... couldn't tell me right away the day she went in for the test....

 

I know there are ALOT of things that don't add up and you bet i will be lookinf dor that piece of paper, but what I am looking for is info on what to do if she really is having a kid, as for her having a child she dosen't see it as a choice, if she is pregnant then she will have the kiddo.

 

If this is all a ploy I will be really pissed, I would never hit her but I am gonna scream and yell a bit. It's one thing to try to keep the relationship together but a whole nother ball game to pull this kinda thing.

 

Either way life will go on.

[venus777]

if she is pregnant are you going to stay in a relationship with her?

[DN]

but what I am looking for is info on what to do if she really is having a kid, as for her having a child she doesn't see it as a choice, if she is pregnant then she will have the kiddo.

 

1. Even if you are not in a relationship, support her the best you can in the pregnancy.

 

2. Establish paternity as soon as possible after the birth.

 

3. Pay child support according to the guidelines in your area - find out what they are and pay that amount, no more and no less, until the official amount is determined by a court. Once that has occurred and the child is older you can put extra aside for special events, gifts, necessities or for his or her education.

 

4. Go to court to get court-ordered visitation rights. Do not rely on her word that she will allow visitation as she can rescind them at any time. Get an order.

 

5. Try to avoid as much bad feeling between the mother and yourself while protecting your rights as a father. Be as cooperative as you can.

 

6. Be a good father in every possible way, always be there for your child - financially and emotionally. Set an example of how to be a good man and a good father.

 

7. Never criticize the mother to the child - ever.

[lovecrazy]

best advice right there

[SpyderE]

well, yea... wow

 

so it turns out there was a freak accident and she fell down the stairs.... now there is not a child anymore, yet she would not let me come down to the hospital to see her.....

 

I have learned alot from this though, I came to the realization that I need to trust what I am thinking. and while I may not be ready for a child right now I definitly want to have kids, just not with her....

 

silver lining I guess.

 

thanks for the help through this.

[RayKay]

well, yea... wow

 

so it turns out there was a freak accident and she fell down the stairs.... now there is not a child anymore, yet she would not let me come down to the hospital to see her.....

 

I have learned alot from this though, I came to the realization that I need to trust what I am thinking. and while I may not be ready for a child right now I definitly want to have kids, just not with her....

 

silver lining I guess.

 

thanks for the help through this.

 

Yeah honey, I am going to say I REALLY doubt her 'freak accident' - ESPECIALLY given she would not let you come to the hospital. That just sounds WAY too "textbook" and given how early in the pregnancy she was the chances she would lose the baby are still pretty slight. And without any injury to herself?

 

Remember how it was said she would probably claim a miscarriage soon if she wasn't pregnant?

 

She's lying. I am 99% sure of it.