Removing ex from messenger

[SilverCloud]

I am trying to find the post in which someone had written into, stating that

 

'some day when I am past my hurt of the breakup I will remove the ex from the messenger but not block them'

 

If anyone of you recognize this as something close to what you have said recently, then i have a question for you. Why would you not block and delete them all together? I know it sounds like a childish question, but its quite obvious it stuck to me and i cant help but ask.

[kadvati79]

Thats my policy.

 

Block and Delete - Heal and Move on

Delete - Take a big risk

 

By just deleting, the ex can contact you and throw your life into turmoil all over again. But it does leave that opportunity to pursue "limited contact" which has been discussed on this board. Its a risky route, and one full off pain and anguish. i'm going down it and i'm not sure its the right road yet - but its a road less travelled.

 

By both my estimation (and my ex's on this very board before the breakup), the first year of our relationship was PERFECT, we both considered each other as the one forever (civil union prospect etc...). Then he got ants in his pants once he gained self esteem and realised he hadn't lived as a single, happy, free, unrestricted student for his final year at uni.

 

I keep him on the MSN list because I understand what he went through and I don't think being single for a while is a reason for us to never be together again. I mean, I don't TELL him that. But I keep the channel of communication open - but don't use it - because I know eventually he is going to want a relationship and once he grows up a bit, i think he will probably want one with me.

 

Unfortunately, by then, I think I will be in another relationship, moved on, gotten over it... but the hope helps for now

[SilverCloud]

Thats my policy.

Unfortunately, by then, I think I will be in another relationship, moved on, gotten over it... but the hope helps for now

 

Yes i have hope too, cause i think whats meant to be will be... I know many people dont agree with that but i am a believer of it cause it helps me move on..

 

i had my ex on the block list in the past cause i was not ready to delete him. But this board has posts about finding out if the ex has deleted you or blocked you. And based on that i found that my ex had deleted me but not blocked me.

 

I realized that day he had to be deleted. I have left him blocked as well not that he is a person who will contact me but just cause if earth falls apart and he decides to then i dont want him to have the opportunity , cause i am done with him.

[shyanne]

i would block and delete.. no point allowing them to see when your online if it's over. you need to just move on.. maybe sometimes people forget to block...

[hoping]

wow i hope i can get to u guys' stage soon.....i dont have my ex blocked or deleted....i just have her at the bottom of my list but i still go and look at her name all the time...

[DropToZero]

Hmmm...wow me answering this could definitely give me away, but he goes.

 

I have always deleted the name from messenger(RIGHT AFTER BREAK UP-ASAP), but I never block unless they're not leaving me alone. In my even more recent situation, there's a reason that works two ways as to why I do that. One being, I WILL NOT drive myself crazy, and read every away message or be tempted to IM etc... It's an out-of-sight, out-of-mind type thing, and it's easier once their name is gone to think about wanting to talk. Trust me, I've left the name on there before and made myself crazy reading profiles and away messages. Number two reason being(to show why this works), I don't block so THEY CAN read all my messages, and in the most recent event, a girl I had been dating but I was really pissed at her, and I recently found out(like I used to do), she drove herself nuts night after night reading my messages and profiles(I always have songs on them, many having to do with what was even going on). Literally...she was so worried what I thought of her, when I'd stop being mad, why I hadn't blocked her etc...sorry, it works though, and it's not my problem that she didnt block me.

 

In the end though, I usually even don't have girl's s/n that I'm dating on my messenger because I don't want to know every second what she's out and up to because and away message is up. Try it though, so far I've done pretty well keeping myself in control using the above.

[kadvati79]

You got it bud. Thats why I deleted. Got to the point "i didn't want to know" cause it just hurts or I would read into things like crazy. Turns out, that I have been far more rebelious and outgoing than he has anyway... go figure? Well I was always the extroverted one.

 

I blocked whenever I needed space, but I don't know, I haven't gotten over him just yet and we were always so close, still are in many ways. I just became more like a brother to him than a lover.

[Bethany]

Because they dumped me and I want to annoy them by being around and not caring etc and hopefully they will feel uncomfortable with this, but I personally do not want see them sign in or if they online anymore because I really DON'T care.

[shyanne]

wow i hope i can get to u guys' stage soon.....i dont have my ex blocked or deleted....i just have her at the bottom of my list but i still go and look at her name all the time...

 

doesn't mean i wanted too but i don't think it's good for someone to have to look at a name that you once really liked knowing that they don't or never felt the same.. it's just better, i think. you can still look at her name from your blocked list on days you feel lonely or want to just look at her name

[trident]

Why would you not block and delete them all together?

 

It depends entirely on how you really feel about them and how you broke up. I was in a similar situation. I broke up with a woman I care for deeply. It was a "right thing - wrong time" deal. Ultimately I deleted her from my contact list on a social networking site because it was too painful.

 

Lasted about two weeks. I received b-day wishes from her & after some thought decided that I would rather have her connected to my life tangentally rather than eliminated. In my situation, I think it was the right thing to do. It all depends on what you're gut tells you is right.

[furakura]

I deleted and blocked my ex one week after the breakup cos he specifically asked me not to contact him again. Cold turkey is the way to go as much as it hurts to know that he can dump me like i'm trash. I also don't want to habour any hope

[didyoumissme]

Hmm... I don't even go on any messengers anymore. I decided to just delete the messengers instead of just deleting/blocking his name.

[crvers]

I deleted my ex from messenger but never blocked them. Out of sight outta mind. If she feels she wants to talk to me, then maybe i'll answer. But deleting her makes it so I don't go outta my way to do it to her. Plus looking at the name hoping it will come online is also a distraction

[Belgian girl]

He has blocked or deleted me.. I feel so much pain about that. I think and hope that it's blocked. Only about three times he came online after the split up, but about the last two months no more. I think I would never block an ex. And yeah, in this case I really want to keep on holding hope.. I love him with whole my heart.

All the best,

Susan

[SilverCloud]

Susan, I was in you situation before but when i realized the he has removed me from the list i blocked and deleted him too. I love him with all my heart too. Infact i called in sick at work today just cause i missed him sooo much(and this is after 3 1/2 month of NC).

You cant force what is not ment to be. We have to move on even if it was not our choice. Delete him sweety for you own sanity. I got told by my sister today that i am poisoning my life over someone who is gone, and she is right. As hard it is to move on that is my only choice right now.

[Spawn]

I got blocked from her email , messenger. I was really pissed at her but still kept my cool, i didn't block her from my mails just made a filter for directly deleting her mails. IM's i had already blocked and deleted her screename

 

now why did i got blocked? cause i just directly told her to never contact me for favours. When its over keep it at that. She apparently was tryin the friends thing with me, felt she was actin bit selfish.

 

in other words i was rude but was just politely makin her understand to leave me alone, in my own sweet way.

[Belgian girl]

Yes i have hope too, cause i think whats meant to be will be... I know many people dont agree with that but i am a believer of it cause it helps me move on..

 

i had my ex on the block list in the past cause i was not ready to delete him. But this board has posts about finding out if the ex has deleted you or blocked you. And based on that i found that my ex had deleted me but not blocked me.

 

I realized that day he had to be deleted. I have left him blocked as well not that he is a person who will contact me but just cause if earth falls apart and he decides to then i dont want him to have the opportunity , cause i am done with him.

 

Hey there, thanks for sharing your situation and how to go on with it. But in the time that I'm blocked, he came online for about four times (in about four months), and I tought maybe it would be good if he he has still the choice to look at my nickname, screenpicture. I still have contact with him in real, but not very much (if you want to know the 'full'story, read my topic ). I think NC is a very good idea, altough I can't bring it 100% in reality (same bus in the weekends). But now I don't see or speak him for two of three weeks (vacation). I also want to say, he's (we two) are quite younger than in your situation, I have the idea his feelings are changing very often (puberty ). By the way, he's brother is still online at my list All the best!

[Wimpy]

I blocked and deleted my ex within an hour (I think) of receiving his e-mail breaking up with me. That was a year ago (last weekend) and I have never regretted it. Before he broke up with me he had told me once of a previous ex of his with whom he'd broken up. He kept her in his list and she him. For over 2 years each of them would come on line but never talk to one another or initiate contact. From what he told me it was he who'd broken up with her.

 

So....over 2 years later (a year into our relationship) he told me one day that she'd come on line and initiated contact. He was over the moon as he finally was able to get back with being friends with her.

 

When he treated me so unbelievably cruelly and crushed my heart let alone broke it I remembered this story and decided then and there that I'd never want to be his friend again and I hoped that when he saw that I'd deleted him and blocked him he'd realise what a HUGE mistake he'd made.

 

He never did and now a year on I'm better and realise that he was never the man I believed him to be.

 

There are times I wonder what he's up to but I'm glad there's no possibility of seeing him ever online again or him me.

 

My advice...block, delete, NC, move on...heal.

[Spawn]

 

So....over 2 years later (a year into our relationship) he told me one day that she'd come on line and initiated contact. He was over the moon as he finally was able to get back with being friends with her.

 

 

I hate that when it happens, exs shouldn't contact each other things flair up if the other one is in a steady relationship. i have been burnt in my very first relationship.

 

But then i shud have probably dumped her for holdin onto hopes for a reconciliation with her 1st bf even after 10 months of her breakoff with him.I thought it was over between them but she was still in contact during our dating and was also brutally honest about it...not to mention the crappy way i got treated, the way she would break things up over silli reasons......

 

When things were finally over between us, i had to make her understand that remaining in contact with your exs after breakup is not a good idea, the way she started being friendly after the breakup was just not right.....

 

I don't regret takin that decison of shuttin her off completely from my life.