Benefits of NC

[Rob1000]

Guys I need help.

 

Its day 18 of NC for me. I'm getting weak. Can anyone make a list of the advantages of NC for me so I can print it out and keep in my pocket for a quick fix next time I'm feeling this way. Doesn't matter how obvious it is. I just need reminding of it when I'm feeling weak.

 

Any help is appreciated.

 

Rob

[DN]

1. You are not being constantly reminded that the person you are talking to doesn't want you anymore.

 

2. You are not given false hope that she may want you back because she is talking to you.

 

3. You keep some dignity by not being tempted into begging and pleading.

 

4. Eventually you heal faster even though it doesn't seem like it at the time.

[Derek]

NC means you are beginning to separate yourself from the emotional attachment you had. It takes time, it will hurt, but it will be for the best. Whether they come back to you or not. You will be in a better mental position either way. Because you are taking back control of your willpower.

 

You will soon regain your perspective and be an individual again. Intertwined no more.

[Rob1000]

Thanks guys..

 

Keep em coming!! I want to compile a list..

[bobo85]

If you do contact her...it will only like a temporary relief. You will feel good for a few hours...but then you will go back to square one. You will feel low and wonder even more what she's doing. No contact gives you no physical reminders of the ex. You won't know whats she's doing and you won't be able to hear her voice. All you have right now are memories and those will never go away. Keep up the NC until either

 

A. You have moved on entirely and may want to resume a friendship with her

 

or

 

B. You have moved on entirely and she contacts you. You can decide what you want to do. You may not even want to be friends with her after you have gotten over her.

 

or

 

C. She calls you during your NC time and leaves you a message saying i really need to talk to you. and even if this happens...you may want to consider all the consequences of calling her back . Evaluate her intentions if she says she want you back. Imagine that you call her back and all she wants is her cd she let you borrow back. Its gonna make u feel 10x worse than before.

[BONO]

Rob,

 

Go to "All Threads started by Majord23" He posted a great insight into this called "No Contact - a Guide" One of the best things I've read

 

 

Scruff

[bobo85]

this helps me.....

 

Pretend that your ex lives in another country. Pretend she has no internet connect or phone. This way you CANT contact her at all.

[Rob1000]

Thanks a lot guys.

 

I cannot tell you how much joining this site has helped me.

[okane24]

For me, NC has allowed me to concentrate on ME. All the aspects of my life that I literally neglected because I was so focused on my ex. She would ALWAYS be priority #1 when I was with her. Now that shes gone, I am Priority #1. And it feels good. Don't get me wrong, I miss her like crazy, but now, there are other things that take up my time. I play more sports now. Hang out with my buddies like I used to. Most helpful, is that I'm talking to new girls now. Not that I want a new relationship, it's just soooo refreshing meeting other girls that have qualities that my ex didn't. And it doesn't hurt that they are attractive girls as well.

 

NC allowed and allows me to not hear that painful voice on the other side of the phone. During the last few days of our breakup, she was sooo distant and 'not there', not paying attention to what I was saying, not CARING, speaking to me out of what seemed obligation, very cold... I HATED every moment of it. So NC allows me not to have to hear that ugly person again.

 

Hope this helps... Good luck... Keep at the NC, it definitely helps...

[Rob1000]

Day 22 and counting. I wonder when she will break it!!!

[markm]

yeah, me 2 man

[at750gr]

Good luck buddy and all the best! Look after yourself.. that's all that matters.

 

I went NC for months.. she broke it numerous times.. I kept it but finally gave in.. She played with me.. Went back on NC for months.. she never kept it.. Now she's playing games again.. I can't free myself from this enslavement but I keep up with my life.

[NubianLove]

Goodluck!! I'm on NC day 5, last time we talked by phne, angry text messages were exchanged 2days ago, and he sent me a text message wishing me luck on an exam yesterday.

I see NC as a form of vindication, in my case I dont think my ex felt like I could stay this long without even trying his # once. Even when he called 20x the 1st 2days of NC, I ignored all his calls. I didnt want him to draw me into his anger justified filled world. To think a week ago, we were cuddled side by side, now this.

 

Hang in there with NC, knowing that deep down inside she expects u to call even if she doesnt want to talk to you. I plan on having mine go for as long as i can, I keep myself busy with school, friends, and reading on how I can make myself a better person, plus I'm working out like I've never done before.

[settinuplife]

Doing NC makes you look strong and not weak. It makes it look like you have better things to do than contact her. That can be a very attractive quality.

[Rob1000]

Thanks settinuplife. It's now day 24. Still miss her like hell tho'!!

 

I wonder if it's havin any effect on her???!

[enolaton]

I'm with ya too Rob. Keep at it!

[hoping]

but i read somewhere else that maybe once in a while still show u care so ur ex dont drift away too far...if ur planning on trying to get her back....what do u guys think??

 

its been a month and 7 days for me

[NubianLove]

but i read somewhere else that maybe once in a while still show u care so ur ex dont drift away too far...if ur planning on trying to get her back....what do u guys think??

 

its been a month and 7 days for me

 

I'm no expert, but NC is for getting ur emotions in check so when u do talk ur using ur head and not doing all the crazy things to turn them away. For me NC will be when I can call him, and not get mad, or ask excessive questions, and when I can as him to do lunch or grab something to eat, or meet at coffee shop to just chit chat.

If they really loved you(in my case 8yrs), I dont see how the love will be gone that quick.

[Rob1000]

but i read somewhere else that maybe once in a while still show u care so ur ex dont drift away too far...if ur planning on trying to get her back....what do u guys think??

 

its been a month and 7 days for me

NC first and foremost is for me. I do plan on getting in touch with her at some stage, but that's only a plan. And I find the plan is making the heart break a little easier. I know if I spoke to her today that I would be totally fine but I would fall to pieces afterwards. Plus if I'm the one who breaks NC I have to ensure that its been long enough period of time not to seem like I'm pining after her. If and when we do speak, there has to be that element of mystery between us.