Good ol' Myspace :-/

[Liam Weic]

so...i did something i really know i shouldn't have.

 

My gf has a myspace, but she's not very techy..so she gave me her password and stuff so i could go inthere and change it up nice for her...

 

so the other night..i was stuck at home...i had a couple of beers in me..and i thought i'd go in there all nice, to fix some things she asked me to a while back.

 

well...i think you can see where this is going.

 

I "stumbled" into her outbox..and saw this message...from a "friend". that she apparently made out with, but i just don't know when. no dates were mentioned. I know i really shouldn't have read any of this, but my little "angel" that tells me not to do things was a lil out of it...and i really saw (at the time) no harm in it.

 

Well he went on to ask her what her status was, and how she was generally doing....and well...she made no mention of me, or anything closely related to me.

 

well..that was a double stab in the heart i feel.

 

I know what i did was wrong, but was what i found out worth it? I have a doubt in my mind that says that it WAS along time ago...but i really can't prove anything...(and i don't want to snoop around anymore, for fear of what i may find, and more importantly, the act itself, i never thought i'd stoop down to it and don't want to again)

 

so to sum it up.

1. i know i messed up by going to read her messages

2. however, she did make out with some guy (although 'when" i don't know)

3. She made no mention OF me...so

 

do you think she's trying to make connections elsewhere?

 

(fyi: she's currently in another state for an internship, and she's been there 2 out of 6 months that she needs to. She left in january, just as we were starting out. We at that point had been together since early october. and this guy just happens to be a ken doll.)

[xblondyx]

Ooh harsh. Yeah true you shouldn't have snooped around, if she finds out she'll think you don't trust her.

 

It may have been a long time ago you can never know unless you tell her about what you did and ask her.

 

Is it a good idea to tell her...hmm toughie! If you don't, you'll never know the truth and you'll be lying to her. If you do, she may think you don't trust her, you could get into a big argument and you may hear some things you don't want to hear (e.g. that she is making connections else where). Up to you.

[WildChild]

My initial thought is this: unless she is cold hearted and wanted you to see that, why would she have given you the password to "MySpace" if she recently made out with some guy? I say bite your tongue, and don't say a word. AND don't look anymore. You looked because your self esteem is still low, you haven't been working on it from your other post. Beware, continuous low self esteem is one of the ugliest things.

[birdgirl]

If I had just cheated on my boyfriend, I'd be so paranoid that the LAST thing I would do is give him my MySpace password if I was writing on there to the guy I cheated with.

 

Is he local to her, since you say she is away?

[TheLegend]

My gf has a myspace, but she's not very techy..so she gave me her password and stuff so i could go inthere and change it up nice for her...

That means she had myspace before she met you? And the messages didn't have time on them. Which means she might have got/wrote that before you, am I wrong? And she GAVE you her password, that makes me think that it was before you and it's just a harmless message she got/sent before she started going out with you..

 

PLUS..

 

If you ask about this to your girlfriend for an explanation, you're risking alot. Because you did check her messages after all and if you speak with her and sound like you accuse her (EVEN A LITTLE), I'm pretty sure she'd be really mad and things could be ugly. So I say just watch out and think before you do something. Just analyse your relationship, I'm sure there's an explanation.

[Iceman26]

Tell her about it. For gods sake you are only human, of course you checked her mail/outbox.

 

If she gets mad or upset, tough s***. If she's cool and understanding, she will want to allay your fears.

[Liam Weic]

well...I actually hadn't thought of checking out where he lived..(he lives near me, about 4 hours away in her hometown)...since i was a little upset at the moment.

 

I'm just going to leave it at "This was before me," bite my tongue, and move on...i really don't feel like getting back in there and verifying anything.

 

I mean you guys are right...why would she give me her pass if she WAS messing around...that'd just be dumb

[kuys]

I mean you guys are right...why would she give me her pass if she WAS messing around...that'd just be dumb

 

you'll be surprised....

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

You see, if *I* cheated on my boyfriend, I might give him my password so he'd find out and I wouldn't have to tell him.

 

Another state for 2 months? Wow, that's dangerous...be careful. You have every right to be paranoid.

[joism]

I think you should tell her, but don't assume she is doing something behind your back. Sit down with her and tell her that while you were updating her profile, you happened to check her messages and there was a sent message that bothered you. Ask her about it. If you don't, it'll be stuck in your head until you do. I mean, if she didn't want you to see her emails why would she give you her password? Is she dumb enough to think that all your gonna do is fix her myspace profile?

[Rabican]

I dont think she would give you her password to her site if she was hiding anything on there... . unless she is completely clueless when it comes to computers and didnt know you could look at her messages.

 

That said, Flip a coin, heads you say nothing and just keep your eyes open in case anything suspicious happens... then you can check out her site to confirm.

 

Tails, you casually mention to her that while drunkenly fixing her site you saw a message to/from some guy, and you just wanted to see what that was about. If shes keeper material, this shouldnt make her head explode... you should be able to work it out even if shes a little irked about the invasion of privacy (which should be negated by the fact that she GAVE you the pw)

[Long Tall Paul]

Yeah, get it out in the open - bottling it up won't work. Just be careful how you put it - ie. non-confrontational, non-accusatory.

[getupkid]

Honestly, I dont think digging through her myspace is that big of a problem, you have the right to know if shes doing anything behind your back, and thats a good way to find out if she wont tell you, because after all, her making out with other boys (if it is recent of course) is far worse then you looking through her myspace anyway. Damned that horrible site. Anyway, me and my girlfriend both know eachother's passwords for myspace, and we took a month long break recently (now back together) and she told me she went on my myspace all the time to see what girls I was talking to. She changed hers during the process but I found it out, and now I go on it every so often just to check up on her, making sure she isnt hiding anything, and she isnt...and she doesnt know that I can go on it. Still, it is wrong for me to do, but I just see it as the garenteed truth which everyone in a relationship deserves to know. Like if you go up and ask her "did you make out with anybody while we were going out?" if she didnt want to tell you, she wouldnt, but if that message you read were recent (heaven forbid) then thats the truth you were looking for. Sorry for the length, and to sum it up, I agree with the rest that if she was hiding something, she wouldnt of gave you her password. So just follow your heart my friend and if it were meant to be then she's got nothing to hide. Good luck.