Is the goal just to get ANYONE to go out with you?

[monsieur]

Is the goal just to get anyone to go out with you?

 

It seems to me many people say keep asking and rejection is part of it, so don't worry about it, just ask someone else..... my thinking is that I don't want just anyone to go out with me, it is better to stay single then, if I fall for a girl, that is the girl I want, if she rejects me then I stay single.... depressing but simple

 

damn I hate this rejection, my heart is in shambles inside, it feels like life might pass me by

[KileOriginal]

The idea of trying some one else has more to do with not letting yourself dwell on one girl and opening yourself up to other opportunities than getting involved with some one you don't want to.

 

Rule to the wise, don't get hung up on just one girl.

[renaissancewoman101]

As a girl, I was recently told that one should date more than one guy at a time until one establishes a "relationship" with one guy. This was suggested as a way of being able to have a better chance to score a relationship as well as guard my heart from getting attached to any one single guy and getting my heart broken. I could never be able to do that. I have always been the type to find one guy, try to date him and see where that goes. I wish I could be attractive enough to be able to date more than one guy at once.

[monsieur]

and I think it is a bad idea to keep asking and then consciously lower your standards just to get to a level where you finally 'succeed'... sure it would be success in finding anyone, but it would be a bittersweet success I would think

[poopy_guy]

I think yes - that is the goal. To just get ANYone to go out with you...

[monsieur]

I know it sometimes feels that way when you are still a virgin or never been kissed, but once you've been through it a few times I think single is better than compromise

[BillyJean714]

I think it's unfair for a person to date other people, knowing that they have that 'one' specific person in mind, whom they truly feel is 'the one'. Instead of dating that person, they choose not to because they chicken out. Instead, they go for plan B. That is just flat out wrong. Using people, stringing people along is SELFISH.

 

If I knew I really liked a guy, but not enough to say he's the one, then I would date other guys, because at least I chose to date them with the intentions of giving them a fair chance. But, if I KNEW that I wanted to be with just this one guy, it's really messed up to go out with other guys.

 

I dislike people who use others, especially when they do it as their way, either (or all of the below), to:

A. Fill in a void.

B. Get out of a drout (not getting laid for long periods of time)

C. Impress others (ego, status)

D. Take away another person's virginity because they have crazy obsessions for virgins.

 

People really should just be true to themselves. In the end, it saves A LOT of drama, heartaches, and bad karma.

[heloladies21]

True, you never want to feel like you're compromising what you want. It's not a case of hitting on worse and worse girls until you succeed. It should be about getting rejected, learning why it didn't work, and getting better until you can get the girls you want.

 

Keep trying and think about what you did, success or not. You'll eventually get better.

[PRSOV]

Im a virgin and damn proud of it, no I wouldn't just go out with anyone. Sure I may not be the greatest looking guy in the world, but I am happy with what I have got and the girl I first properly date should be proud of it too that I waited this long to find what I was really looking for in a girl...

[southerngirl]

NO, you shouldnt settle for just anyone. Wait for the one that inspires you, and makes you yearn for more.

[monsieur]

unfortunately life, with its way of making things painful and difficult, will have you find that girl that inspires you and makes you yearn for more, and then have her reject you, leaving any other possibilities after that a pale compromise. It is hard to not get jaded after you go through that kind of experience.

 

Single life is not great, but at least it is an even keel kind of existence, no risk no drama no pain, just a slow burn of mediocrity... but sadly that actually might be preferable to the pain disappointment drama emotional stress etc that worrying about a relationship entails.

[Dako]

Single life is not great, but at least it is an even keel kind of existence, no risk no drama no pain, just a slow burn of mediocrity... but sadly that actually might be preferable to the pain disappointment drama emotional stress etc that worrying about a relationship entails.

 

I agree with this except for the mediocrity. Life can be dull with or without a partner.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Is the goal just to get anyone to go out with you?

It's not my goal. I'm darn picky, I may call you an acquaintance, after proving yourself a good person I may call you a friend. But its going to take a hell of a lot to make it to boyfriend.

[Orlander]

There is a lot of cynicism here. Everyone's different! I have had serious relationships with women that I started out as friends with and I have had serious relationships with women I met at a bookstore and spent every spare minute with for months afterwards.

 

 

 

All I have to say now is, when you are ready to date you are ready to date and love will find its way to you. Just be vigilant but patient.

[Kevin T]

I'd date just about anyone whom I thought was attractive, but as I got to know her, if she was something I really am not compatible with (e.g. a feminist, athiest, etc.) then I would stop seeing her. I'm picky initially with looks, but then, once I get to know a person, I become picky with other things; such as character, morals, values, goals, beliefs, interests, etc.

 

The bottomline is, I'm trying to narrow it down to just ONE person, after all, right? So being selective is important... and trying on the patience.

[Dako]

If I ever start dating, I wouldn't go out with anyone I couldn't learn from.

I'd avoid shallow high maintenance ladies and seek someone creative and bright.

And unlike Kevin, I'd watch for feminist atheists who like a good cigar.

Luckily, women aren't all the same.

[Kevin T]

You like feminist athiests, huh? lol

[Dako]

Sure do. I'm an agnostic who enjoys religion as an art form.

There's all kinds of people.

There's one out there for you, Kevin. I went through a long spell alone as a young man and questioned everything, doubting I'd ever meet the right girl, and passing up chances to get laid by the wrong ones. I'm sure that's blasphemy to some forum members, but they can go blow.

Don't give up.

[CarnelianButterfly]

You like feminist athiests, huh? lol

You do realize that feminism is the demands for equal rights for women. Voting, sexual choice, or equal pay, that is what the root of feminism is. Its not men bashing or domination of men. Do you not really want a woman doesn't want to be treated as an equal?

[Kevin T]

Feminism also knocks a lot of traditional, family-oriented values that I hold dear, so I do indeed take issue with that. It also tends to knock my faith, which I also take great issue with. A lot of feminism I have studied DOES bash men and I do not appreciate that.

 

I am all for equal pay (if there is equal ability and training, of course), rights, etc. That's cool; just not when certain values, ideals and goals I hold dear are under attack. Besides, most feminists (I've met anyway), are not girls I'd be interested. Let's just put it that way. (I'm referring to their dispositions, etc.)

 

BTW Dako, I'm sure you know this, but athiest and agnosticism are completely different. At one time, I may have been considered an agnostic myself. (I guess...)

[Dako]

I know that, but I just consider them different denominations.

No way and who knows?

 

I was raised in both.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Feminism also knocks a lot of traditional, family-oriented values that I hold dear, so I do indeed take issue with that. It also tends to knock my faith, which I also take great issue with. A lot of feminism I have studied DOES bash men and I do not appreciate that.

 

I am all for equal pay (if there is equal ability and training, of course), rights, etc. That's cool; just not when certain values, ideals and goals I hold dear are under attack. Besides, most feminists (I've met anyway), are not girls I'd be interested. Let's just put it that way. (I'm referring to their dispositions, etc.)

I don't know how feminism knocks family values, if anything a stronger woman would make for a stronger family. I've studied a variety of feminism not just what the media likes to smear, the media has turned feminism into the womenist men bashers. There are many facets to feminism, female chauvinist are only a small part of the overall group. A vast majority of women just want equality and by that are feminists. What values and ideals do you feel that female equalitarians attack?

[sweetheart230]

The goal isn't to get anyone to go out with you. It's if you feel an attraction to someone, then you ask them out, or in a girl's case, give them a chance. it's not like anybody is ok, but if there's a reasonable chance you'll have fun and feel a connection, then why not? I'm personally extremely picky about guys, but not really initially. There've been a few times I've felt a strong as hell initial connection, but as long as there's some attraction and I like the person i'll give 'em a shot. It's later that I get picky.

 

Anyway my point is you gotta just look for who looks interesting and who you might be attracted to and go for it. You never know what'll click. Just don't get attached to the outcome. I think thats why dating a lot of ppl is good, cause if you date more ppl, you're less affected by rejection and that's always a good thing. Plus, as I said before, you nver know who you'll be compatible with until you get to know them.

[Kevin T]

I don't know how feminism knocks family values, if anything a stronger woman would make for a stronger family. I've studied a variety of feminism not just what the media likes to smear, the media has turned feminism into the womenist men bashers. There are many facets to feminism, female chauvinist are only a small part of the overall group. A vast majority of women just want equality and by that are feminists. What values and ideals do you feel that female equalitarians attack?

 

Hmm, that's not what I've learned from sociology. (BTW, I hate that course, so they could well be wrong.) The plus side is I'm averaging a nice healthy A in that cakewalk of a course, so meh. It's a trade-off; they try to indoctrinate me with lies, but they give me good grades. Ah, Ontario Canada's wonderful educational system, how doth I love thee! lol